why does she do this?

Question

my wife and i seperated 3 months ago, she said that we aren't right for each other, and that she isn't in love with me anymore. we have a 2 yr old daughter together, and my wife still wants us to take her places together. why does she want to do that?

Answer 1

she wants your daughter to be secure,and she can see that you are still mommy and daddy,even you don't live together anymore.There is nothing wrong with this as long as you get to take her out alone sometimes too.If she doesn't let you then she doesn't trust you,she may think you are trying to take off with the child.But as long as your daughter is young too young to understand what is going on just do it for her.

Answer 2

Look, it doesn't matter why she wants to do it. what matters is what's best for your 2 year old daughter. I am from a split family myself. Right now, she's either used to or will get used to you taking her places together. Then all of the sudden that stops, think of how that will mess with her head. 2 year olds may be toddlers, but truly sir, it does effect them. No matter what anyone thinks. My parents split when I was 3. I had the luxury of them realizing the above. I have a friend however, that didn't do this with his daughter, and everytime he's gone, his daughter screams almost non-stop. I've seen it, so truly, tell your wife/ex-wife, it's time to really think about what images and values you're putting into your daughters mind. She doesn't need to grow up thinking it's okay. I know, I know, it's just for a while. Neither of us want to miss anything, mean while, your daughter is thinking that this life is a normal life. Like I said, kids are smarter than we all sometimes give them credit for. They realize what's going on. toddler or not. so many of you have put that this is a good idea, have any of you lived through it, saw your friends and their children live through it? Please don't get me wrong, right now, I'm sure your daughter loves it, but the thing is, it won't be able to stop without some serious heartache. complete the separation now while she's young, you have her on your scheduled days and times and she has her the rest.

Answer 3

To put on appearances for your daughter that everything is fine between the two of you...and that's the wrong thing to do. Dealing with separation and divorce is hard enough for children without a parent trying to shelter them and trick them into thinking everything is okay. She's not old enough to understand what's going on, but she needs to be told why you aren't around all the time anymore, even if it's "you and mommy live in a different house from daddy now and you'll still see him, but it might not be every day" or something to that affect. You need to make her see what she's doing and let her know that it's not good for the mental health of your daughter.

Answer 4

She probably thinks that just because the marriage has ended your daughter shouldn't suffer. Unless it is going to cause problems for you i don't see a problem with this. Your daughter is still young and will not understand what is happening. Your wife probably thinks that it will keep some stability for your daughter. If your not sure speak to your wife about it. Tell her how you feel and ask her why she wants to do this.

Answer 5

Sounds like she is confused. But maybe she wants ya'll's daughter to NOT get confused or upset. So that's why she wants to still go things together.
Your baby WILL get over this separation, trust me mine did and it's easier when they're young in my opinion.
You need to tell wife that it is not helping the situation, for you and baby's sake, you can't allow anymore family gatherings anymore b/c it WILL confuse baby into thinking mommy and daddy are still together.
Does baby ask questions AFTER ya'll's outtings? Like:
Why isn't daddy coming home with us?
It will hurt baby in the longrun. Stop the together outtings.

Answer 6

i'm sorry to hear about you and your wife's separation. i think she wants to go places with you and your daughter together because she wants to preserve a sense of family and normalcy for your daughter. as dr phil says, 'children always have a way of making a divorce their fault,' so she's probably trying to let your daughter know that even though you two aren't in love, that you both love your daughter very much.

when my parents got divorced, they couldn't even stand being in the same town as eachother. it was very difficult on us kids, and over a decade later, they're still being petty and immature. my mom missed very important events in my life, and my dad missed the opposite ones because they couldn't get over themselves.

your wife is just trying to look out for your daughter. i know it's going to be really hard to do, but i'm sure it will get easier in time. who knows, maybe after spending more time together as a 'family,' your wife will realize she's missing out on the best hubby she could ever have!

Answer 7

Maybe its so your daughter can still feel like her a family and so your daughter doesn't feel like its her fault. Most chld feel like it there fault that there mom and seperate and they tend to blame them self even with the talk of its not her fault it could take some time for her to get use to the fact that her mom and dad are no long together cuz they have there own issue that have nothing to do with me.

Answer 8

maybe she just wants to let your daughter know that your 2 seperation has nothing to do with her..Shes trying to show your daughter that you 2 can still be friends and still have fun without you two being together..I mean be happy, at least she is letting you see your child..Some women dont let their husbands see the kids after seperation..Then it becomes ugly..I hope the best for you!

Answer 9

she is trying to maintain a family image, and keep your daughter from getting hurt. what your daughter "sees" feeds the right moral and happiness in her heart.

stick to the program. daughter needs to see you both happy and together but at some point she must realize you are seperated as well. and always tell her why and the truth...

Answer 10

Don't get your hopes up because she doesn't want you. She is just trying to transition your 2 year old at a slow pace. Kids are very delicate about situations like this.