My aunt--shes been described as selfish. She's a musician one day, she walked out on a concert performance because she didn't like duets. All my life, her family has been jealous of us because we "bought the house out from under them" (we didn't, back them my mom said, she offered it to them! The funny thing is, we were never trying to make her feel inferior in any way. years later, there's a huge tragedy in our family. She made me feel so bad and poured salt in that wound at the time of my deepest pain. Then, she calls back once in a while to say that, her daughter is getting married, or so in so is making a lot of money trying to tick us off. Its like she can finally One-up us (however we never thought of things that way!!!) excuse us for mourning. How do I handle her?
15 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
2007-11-13 04:24:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Its like she's kicking us, me when we are down...really really hard! Why is she so hurtful?
2007-11-13 04:26:12 · update #1
Be painfully honest. She's spent all this time doing everything she can to hurt you, and just tell her outright that you don't want to interact with her because she generally tries to find some excuse to be hurtful.
I can be that her tactic will be to attempt to turn this around on you, make it all your fault. In which case you can use that as evidence that she seeks to degrade you and your family, and further reason to not want to have anything to do with her. Don't let the conversation continue for long, because there won't be any convincing her. People like that are generally unwilling to admit that they are responsible for any wrongdoing.
And then just stop talking to her. You can't fix her by continuing to take the abuse, you're just enabling it to continue. Cut it off. Don't try to end it by making her stop saying it, try to end it by making yourself stop listening to it.
2007-11-13 04:41:21 · answer #1 · answered by Mythological Beast 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU DON'T. Just because this "lady" is a relative, doesn't mean that you should allow her to treat you as a doormat.
You don't deal with mean and spiteful, anybody. You run, not walk away from them and don't look back.
Why do you put yourself through such abuse. Blood does not for a good person make. You can either separate yourself slowly or you can do it right now, and end it all.
Wouldn't it be great not to have her in your life. Then choose not to. It is entirely up to you. Not anybody else in the family, BUT YOU.
She wouldn't be in my life, in fact similar things have happened and that person hasn't been in my life for a long time now, and it is the best choice I every made.
2007-11-13 04:56:17 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're giving this female way too plenty skill over your happiness. once you think of of her "pouring salt on your wounds" it is going to make you mad, no longer unhappy. would not that inform you that she's advise? So why enable her be advise? she would be in a position to't harm you in case you do no longer take harm from what she says. So she's attempting to make you experience undesirable approximately issues which you do no longer even care approximately. (That so-and-so has this-or-that.) isn't is stupid that she says those issues? isn't she a tragic and pathetic element? isn't it, in a fashion, humorous, that she bothers attempting to trojan horse you, and in this form of stupid way? I advise, in case you're satisfied for the sturdy fortunes of those different kin, she loses, in simple terms right? So, on the initiating, you will could faux being delighted. over the years, you will end being stricken by making use of this nut.
2016-11-11 09:15:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just that way! I would change my phone number and not give it to her. Let her know that you are not going to take any more of her "verbal abuse" and not to contact you any more. If she comes by, you can just NOT let her in. Check and see if you can put a restraining order on her. Tell the authorities you consider this "verbal abuse". I don't know what the laws are on restraining orders, but you could find out.
2007-11-13 04:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by tinymite 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes certain people who don't have anything, bite back because they are jealous. I would just say, "Well that's good..", "Glad to hear that..", let her talk it sounds like that's all she has. Don't be spiteful yourself, adn don't brag either, just let it go in one ear and out the other.
2007-11-13 04:32:10 · answer #5 · answered by katzpro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you do when you see **** or cow dung on the road side? You don't throw a stone on it! do you? That's exactly what you should do, Ignore her completely, as if she doesn't exist.
2007-11-13 04:37:08 · answer #6 · answered by satishfreeman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you don't like your mean and spiteful relatives, just divorce them.
2007-11-13 04:34:42 · answer #7 · answered by Deana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would either ignore her, or acknowledge her of her flaw.
2007-11-13 05:04:10 · answer #8 · answered by Taja B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't handle her...be polite...keep her at arm's length
ignore it
2007-11-13 04:33:12 · answer #9 · answered by jmd72inva 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋