I dont want him to be unsafe and his girlfriend is driving him tonight, but they all make it seem that he has to get bombed to be a man, i was known for having fun when in college, but when i turned 18 (the legal drinking age in 79) getting black out drunk wasn't the goal, more like having fun, any thoughts?
2007-11-13 04:16:03 · 52 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Just tell your son to be responsible and not to get so wasted that he doesn't remember his big night. At least he's got a DD!!!!
2007-11-13 04:18:11 · answer #1 · answered by ☆ღWifey Wifeyღ☆ 5 · 8⤊ 0⤋
I'm 18. I live in Ontario, but right on the Quebec border. While the Ontario drinking age is 19, Quebec's is 18. So, needless to say, 18th birthdays around here always take place in Quebec. More often than not, the plans are to go to a club or a bar and get completely smashed. It may sound stupid... but that's pretty much the way it's done today. At least around here.
Edit: Someone also mentioned something about it being different for guys and girls... not true. In fact, the girls tend to go out more than the guys do because we'll end up getting free drinks all night.
2007-11-13 04:20:44 · answer #2 · answered by Kat* 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him the damage he could do to his body by drinking to much. Some kids really don't know about alcohol poisioning and easily it can happen.
Make sure he eats a decent meal a couple hours before going out. There should be no reason to fear his safety when he has a designated driver.
Everyone I knew that turned 21 had the same goal. Some kids overdid it & some ended up just having a good time.
2007-11-13 04:22:10 · answer #3 · answered by Jennield 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're lucky in a way... I would do that BEFORE I turned 21 and once I was old enough, it just wasn't as much fun anymore. A lot of young people do this when they turn 21.. I wouldn't be worried. As long as he has someone sober to drive and his friends know to take him to the hospital if something goes wrong (pretty unlikely to have anything that crazy happen)... he will be okay. Just give his girlfriend your number, just in case she needs help... for his own safety.
2007-11-13 04:22:26 · answer #4 · answered by Holy Macaroni! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ask the girlfriend to take pictures of the inevitable puking phase, and post them on myspace. That should humiliate him right into sobriety.
On a serious note, getting drunk on your 21st is inevitable. It's not a cause for concern.
It's habitually drinking everyday or every single weekend that starts to lead down the road to trouble. I should know, I've had a DUI and had to attend AA and straighten my life up. If your son ever shows signs of habitual drinking, take him to an AA meeting. It's preferable to go sober than have to attend meetings.
2007-11-13 04:24:35 · answer #5 · answered by steven h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this may not be what you want to hear, but from my personal expirience, when i turned 21 i did what your son is hoping to do tonight. My friends got me sooo drunk, that i threw up numerous times, did and said some stupid things and ultimately woke up thinking i had an elephant sitting on my head. Worst hang over ever with dry mouth and the stale smell of alchohol on my breath was unbearable. I told myself that i would never do that again, and that the hang over and all the other stuff was not worth it. needless to say that i indeed never got drunk like that again and learned to be responsible with drinking from then on. As long as he has a real DD and good friends to watch out for him, as hard as it might be, you might have to let him take his first steps here.
2007-11-13 04:23:44 · answer #6 · answered by PHXO 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like it or not, the boy is gonna kill off a few brain cells tonight.
Hitting 21 is a right of passage, that final barrier before you have all the legal rights of an adult (well...unless you're trying to rent a car. Oi.).
I turned 21 in April, and though my coworkers got me pumped up for getting "obliterated", it really wasn't that big of a deal. I was highly intoxicated, yes, and admittedly staggered, but I was nowhere NEAR passing out. I highly doubt that you son will consume all alcohol in sight just for the sake of his "big night', and that his body will tell him when to slow it down. It's unlikely that this is his first time drinking, in which case he'll already know the warning signs.
I wouldn't worry too much. Keep a good ear out for the phone, and let them know (if they are in your town) that you are willing to come pick them up if the girlfriend slips up and drinks. Wouldn't you? It's worth it to be crabby and awake at 0300, driving drunks home as opposed to the possible alternatives that drunk driving provides...you could also offer to have them call you when they're done, and you could either pick them up or pay cab fare...or, you could buy dinner for him, the girlfriend, and a couple of friends beforehand (or, take just him and the girlfriend out in the early evening) to ensure that he has something solid in his stomach before drinking.
Not saying that you're obligated to do any of these things, but if you're worried about their safety, those are options for you. You can also talk with your son and see if there are any arrangements along those lines that would work best for everyone.
You really can't intervene on this one (no real putting the foot down), but you can express that you would like to help and that he can call at any time for any reason...and that you won't be upset with him for calling, especially for a ride. If you like, you could even discreetly ask his girlfriend to give you a call, just so you know everyone is home safely...not to check up on him, but just to put your mind at ease.
My 21st was a three-night celebration (due to everyone's different schedules) and I called my mother every night when I got home, regardless of the time....and my family lives over 2000 miles away. I felt bad for waking her up, but she was glad to know that I was home. I don't call her every time that I go to a bar, but I know that she was especially concerned, and it was no bother to me...
Your son will be in my thoughts this evening...I hope that everything goes fine. Just talk with the girlfriend and make sure that she is also aware that you are willing to help if anything happens differently than planned.
Don't sweat it too much, mama! - he's just getting older...
2007-11-13 08:08:36 · answer #7 · answered by unithoRn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It makes a mother worry, but your son is an adult and it sounds like he is being responsible (getting a DD). I would talk to him about the signs of alcohol poisoning (because even some adults are not aware of the difference between being really drunk and having alcohol poisoning) and then tell him to have a good time and call you if he needs you.
Hang tough mom-it's just another part of being the parent of an adult that is hard to watch!
2007-11-13 04:23:34 · answer #8 · answered by lovelymrsm 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a bartender and believe me he will get tossed if his friends are already contemplating on bombing him..meaning buying him drinks..wanna know a trick? make sure he has a big HEAVY MEAL before his liver even tastes alcohol. Like a steak dinner. Plus it will help him not get too drunk, and he wont have a hang over..then in the morning have some gatorade or power ade ready for him because he will be sooo dehydtrated. and 2 excedrins. he will be good to go.
2007-11-13 04:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your son is behaving in a very stupid, irresponsible manner, and so are his so-called "friends" who keep insisting that he has to get bombed in order to celebrate turning 21. Does your son even know about the dangers associated with alcohol POISONING? Drinking doesn't make someone an adult, and one would think that your son is mature enough to see this at his age. It only makes them drunk, and it can kill a person who gets enough alcohol in their system. What about his girlfriend- who's going to take some steps to prevent her from becoming a victim of date rape or worse? Well, mom??!! If your son and his friends get trashed, one or more of them could easily gang up on the girl, and the next thing you know, you will have a gang rape on your hands. NOT a pretty picture, is it? Getting totally trashed on one's 21st birthday is NOT a rite of passage, at least not where I came from. I DIDN'T do this, and no one I knew in college did it either.
As far as the practical side of things, I would talk to your son and try to convince him to stay home if he is going to drink- that way, you can at least keep an eye on him, and call for help if it looks like he has poisoned himself with the stuff. Also, that will prevent him from driving or attempting to drive drunk, which may save him some fines, court costs, and possibly hospital bills- not mention keep you from having to worry about getting a phone call or a visit from the police at 2 in the morning, telling you that your son has been killed in an accident. It will be easier for this to happen than you might think- all your son or one of his so called "friends" has to do is slip a little bit of GHB, or the date rape drug, into any liquid his girlfriend is drinking. Not only will that make her vulnerable to unwanted sex, it more than likely will cause her to pass out. Then where will your son be? In jail or the hospital, more than likely. In short, dad, mom, it's just not smart to let your son do this. He isn't acting like an adult- he's acting like a spoiled kid.
If your son won't agree to stay home tonight, then I would contact the local cops and ask them to keep an eye out for your son's car or his girlfriends car. Tell the sargeant that it is your son's birthday, and tell him or her what your son is planning to do, and let them take it from there. The police will have the means to get your son to listen to reason and go home if he wants to get drunk- and if he doesn't cooperate, he will probably spend the rest of his 21st birthday in jail.
Good luck tonight.
2007-11-13 08:51:55 · answer #10 · answered by Starlight 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a very good thing that his girlfriend is going to drive. He's 21 and there's not much you can do about his desire to get wasted. If you bug him, then he's sure to do it. Just remind him to be safe, have a good time, and tell him that he doesn't have to pass out to have fun. Most likely he'll drink too much, make an idiot of himself and wake up tomorrow with a nasty hangover. As long as he's safe, let it go. I used to bartend, and I've seen it hundreds of times. I'm not saying it's a great idea, but as long as he's safe..... There's just not that much you can do.
2007-11-13 04:24:33 · answer #11 · answered by Elsie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋