How do you break up with someone?

Question

So, here is the story. My "so called" other half, has been lying to me the entire 4 years of our, "lie of a relationship". Lets call him BOB (just in case hes on yahoo) ANYHOOT, he involved all my friends including family, and even his parents in this lie. A good friend (not anymore) of mine from years ago told me about it, she said she helped him by introducing him to mutual friends of ours and snuck behind my back, protecting and helping him lie with spreading the news not to tell me about it. Mind you, I am a grown women (child play). Yeah so, my "so called" friends and family betrayed me and for the record, I am a better women therefore, there is no need to confront these excuse's for humans. I know what I found out is true and I honestly don't feel it's necassary to bring this matter to the table, only to hear a cover up lie, plus, I don't want to waste my breath on any of them. How can, or what can I use to break up with him without lying, nor giving any clues on why?

Answer 1

Okay, it might be more helpful if we knew what the lie was, but i'm assuming it's cheating.

First depends on the situation, are u living with him? If so and you don't want to confront him then just take off a day of work and move all of your things out. It will catch him off guard i'm sure (make sure you have a place to stay first).

As far as your family, blood is thicker than water, and it seems like they forgot about that, you can't just ignore the issue with them. You need to let them know you know about what was going n and you were hurt by the fact that as family they weren't looking out for your well-being like they were supposed to......

I have heard of a guys family covering for him, but to have you family too!!!That's just wrong!!!!

Answer 2

I agree... 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Answer 3

As I read your piece, I kept thinking of the old song that goes something like "breaking up is hard to do " by Neil Sedaka.Your case is very complex and difficult since you seem to have been betrayed by almost everyone around you.Unless you are prepared to cut off everybody you currently know, you will have to forgive some people based on a sliding scale of blame.Here, I am specifically talking about your family. Tell all involved ----Bob, mutual friends, and your guilty family members the truth----that they have hurt and betrayed you terribly, that as a result of the emotional wounds they have inflicted on you, you can not continue your relationship and friendship as before.Tell them you no longer want them in your life as they have violated the basic trust you placed in them.You do not have to reveal how you found out about their treachery and betrayal;that is irrelevant to the break up. However, I will also advise, that while I can understand your pain and disappointment, you should be willing to forgive any of them who asks for your forgiveness. That is a tenet of being human.I wish you the best and let us know how you're doing.

Answer 4

This problem you describe is very vague. What could the lie be?? How bad could it be if everyone (including family) was willing to cover this up? I guess they felt they were protecting you and didn't think it would greatly affect your relationship.

Without knowing what happend....my only advice is to stand up for yourself. Tell everyone you know about the lie and address why they felt the need to keep it from you. Tell them how disappointed you are and that you would never hide something from anyone you love.

As for this guy......If you want to break up with him......do it. Call him out for the lie and tell him that if he really loved you....there would be no secrets between you.

If you stand up for yourself...it's less likely this will ever happen to you again!

Answer 5

If you are upset because they lied, then don't stoop to their level by being secretive or evasive. Put your feelings on the table about all of it and then leave. You will feel so much better because you were able to get your true feelings out in the open and you don't even have to listen to what anyone else has to think or say about them.

Answer 6

Just start seeing someone else, and stop seeing him.

You have no need to explain your life or decisions to anyone else - you are an adult.

Use any one of the hundred excuses people use:

1. I'm looking to take my love in a different direction
2. I'm downsizing my commitments
3. I'm considering the benefits of outsourcing my needs
4. Your forgivness account in my love bank is overdrawn.
etc..

My favorite - I'm not as happy as I need to be with you.

Answer 7

Just tell him it's over. You don't have to give a reason if you don't want to, but I think maybe he should hear that you've caught him out on the lie.

Still, I'm curious, what lie could be that big as to involve all your family and friends?

Answer 8

Just tell him you want it over, don't waste the best years of your life with a liar. Especially if he's bringing your family into it... No chika... Just tell him straight up you want it over, you don't feel the same, and it's gone..

A break up should be like pulling a band-aid, quick and easy, it will hurt a bit, but it will be over in a few minutes

Answer 9

Just exaggerate something he does to make you mad! Get a lot more mad than you normally would and say I cant take it any more... I am done with all of this!
OR
Talk maturely and just say, we are too different and I've tried to work things out but Ive realized that youre not the one for me and we should go our separate ways ... its for the best for both of us!
GL

Answer 10

the dazzling definition varies from coach to teach. some human beings evaluate a horse eco-friendly broke while it has taken a saddle and rider on its returned a handful of cases. in my view that's eco-friendly broke while that's prevalent with all the basics yet continues to be somewhat rusty and can nonetheless have "awkward" gaits that arent very gentle yet. To me broke is after a minimum of a year of being ridden generally, and that's prevalent with all its instructions firmly, and has gentle nicely prepared gaits. The horses has little or no to appreciate matters as far as rearing, bucking, or in simple terms no longer listening is going. i might say lifeless broke comes alongside after a minimum of five years of being ridden generally, and that's prevalent with all its instructions in its sleep. The gaits are o.k. prepared, the horse could have anybody trip it, experienced riders or first-timers. the horse might nicely be ridden with in easy terms a halter and lead whilst bareback. It takes lots for this horse to spook or develop into unsettled. A rider would be waiting to yell and shout and swing issues around and leap up and down (fairly be a loopy looney) and the horse wont bat a watch. the foremost definition of "bombproof" the main well liked adjustments i assume are in simple terms that eco-friendly broke horses are in simple terms began under saddle, broke horses are nicely knowledgeable and ridden heavily, and lifeless broke horses dont even think of roughly their preparation anymore and function been ridden for an prolonged time. For riders i might say novices understand in simple terms the basics of using, worrying, and expertise of horses. Intermediates understand fairly lots approximately using, worrying and expertise of horses, yet nonetheless choose multiple asistance on issues and choose greater discovering. experienced anybody is very progressed in using, understand a ton approximately worrying and expertise of horses. yet remember you're in no way finished discovering, no count how progressed you're.