Need answers from men or married women?

Question

Im kind of recently married (just nearing 2 years). I have been noticing that my husband is not really interested in sex and its getting problematic esp coz now we want to try to have kids. My husbands says he can have sex only in the morning as soon as he gets up because that time by default he is little aroused and its easy to get more of him. In the evenings wen i try to fondlke him there is no much changes in him. But i know that he sincerely loves me. Can he be having some problem?? are all boys almost sexually aroused when they wake up in the morning?? i dont see this behaviour when he takes a light sleep in the afternoon. there are no other problems in our life and he seems to be happy man. just that he has less interest in sex. please advice. at times when we have sex, i find that he cant ejaculate also. he just does it for my satisfaction, though i dont force him. but this doesnot happen always.

but its not that he never ejaculates. its just that sometimes he doesnt.

just adding in more details
I have asked him about seeing any dreams and he says he has deep sleep and dont see any dreams. i cant forcefully ask him coz i dnt want him to feel bad. I have even tried watchin **** wth him to get him aroused and that also doesnt help much. He doesnt have any diseases. both of have medical checkup(general) every year.

Answer 1

He might be gay..
Try playing a gay video and see what he says.

Answer 2

What you describe is a very common thing among newly weds or people who live together. It could be several things. Too much stress at work or too many bills or the novelty of having a ready sexual partner has just worn off. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you it's just that he didn't expect it to happen and is now stressed out because he thinks that's all there is so he may be just bored and if that's it then he won't have much interest and will have difrficulty getting aroused and if that is the problem then you need to work at making things exciting again. Go out and pretend to be other people and meet up and play like you are cheating on each other and pick each other up in the bar and go to an already close by rented motel room that is really nice and have a night of sin. Or do something of that kind to spice up your love life. Some men are just not visual so he may not find watching **** any help at all. He may even feel guilty watching it with you because it is beneath you. He may have realized he doesn't really love you like he thought. The previous suggestion will work in that case also. I do not believe the real reason for his lack of interest is as important as both of you being willing to try new ways of spicing up your love life. There is a sex aid called the silver bullet and is good for both partners at the same time. go to AdamEve.com and look for it there and maybe you will have to ask for it. The last thing is for a last resort if all else fails. He may be interested or think he is interested in someone else. Or he may even be a closet gay who got married to hide his sexuality. Also get some books on sexuality like male/female oral sex techniques books that describe the different parts of the human genitialia and what sexually stimulates those parts. Also get some Tantra sex videos and watch them together and practice what they teach. You might also try jackinworld.com

Answer 3

Did the problem start after the decision to have children came up.? If so ,it may be physiological.
There can be several physical reasons as well. Has he be checked for diabetes. Diabetes is a leading cause of ED.This also could explain not being able to ejaculate. High blood pressure can cause ED too.Drinking too much and/or smoking can effect erections as well as age.
The reason he is more able to have sex in the morning ,after waking up is because of the internal clock. During sleep in the early hour of the morning testosterone is being produced and is at it's highest level when we first awake in the morning. As the day goes on the testosterone level begins to drop.Testosterone level can easily be check. Men often wake up with an erection due to RIM rapid eye motion a part of normal sleep pattern. This has nothing to do with ****** dream.
No matter the cause, he should see a doctor.You'll both be glad he did .ED is treatable.
Just remember a mans Ego is fragile ,he may resist when you bring it up. Be supportive!

Answer 4

It is difficult to understand why your husband would have so little interest in sex after only two years of marriage, especially since he sincerely loves you. Maybe he has some kind of medical problem. Could it be that he is gay? Or maybe he has some sort of psychological problem, as it is not normal for a young man to have so little interest when he has a willing partner. Perhaps it would be best to see a doctor for a check-up and if there is nothing physically wrong, then consult a marriage counselor and find out what the problem is.

Answer 5

I guess you both are young other than just married, and that makes the situation graver even. Although your husband is happy and looks healthy, his "manhood" is impaired by a low sex-drive (libido) most probably due to a low production of the hormone called testosterone. Such situation usually gets worse with the age and therefore I advise you to try to repair the situation as soon as possible (through a simple visit and a testosterone check). I don't know your culture/religion but in any couple both the partners should be demanding for a satisfying sexual life. Sex is important and a couple is good & proper when there is respect and complete harmony.

Answer 6

He must be suffering from erectile dysfunction with some psychological problem. When we get up in the morning,the urinary bladder is full and there is some pressure on the penis which gives erection. This erection may not long last though he may get ejaculation. But it is OK for conceiving as long as he ejaculates inside you.

If your period is normal, the ovulation takes place between 10th and 15th day from the onset of your period. Have sex every alternative day during this period. Lie down on your back for 30 minutes. Keep a pillow under your buttock to prevent semen flowing out. try this for 3 to 4 cycles.

There are good ayurvedic products for him such as ashwagandha, makaradwaja, safed musli powder, Indian Mulberry fruit juice etc. they are very good, effective and no side effects. He may have to take for six months and more to get result. Indian Mulberry and ashwaganda are good to work on mind also. Do not lose hope. Have faith and your life will be back on the track. Wish you all the best my child. I appreciate your concern.

Answer 7

I think you have little knowledge about normality and many of the answers here may be terribly wrong.
It appears that a visit to a professional preferably a psychiatrist for an evaluation of your relationship is necessary which would include assessing physical , social, environmental factors which could interfere with sexuality.

A greater drive in the morning is normal circadian pattern and does not mean that every time after sleep the drive should be more.

Please do not listen to any of the advice given on this forum in your case

Answer 8

1) When he met you, you were all wrapped up in beautiful clothes, but when u take them off, it doesn't sexcite him. May be he has fantasy for a certain kind of body. In such a case you would have to find it out tactfully since you don't want to directly ask & bug him.
2) He could be bi-sexual. In that case I don't know what you can do. Find it out & post a separate question about this.
3) Leave all this behind & just have sex in the morning. Whats the harm? Keep pillow under your butts & don't get up for atleast 15 minutes after he ejaculates in you.

Answer 9

This is normal.

Any thing else is possible, but here is my take on your inquiery. You have lots of good answers, and some bad advise.

Since you wrote,"there are no other problems in our life and he seems to be happy man. just ------.

All man have different amount of eject able fluid build up in a given time period, so most do run on empty, from time to time. In the beginning of the marriage there is lots of built up capacity.

But for your peace of mind he may want to see a Urologist.

You wrote "I have been noticing that my husband is not really interested in sex and its getting problematic esp coz now we want to try to have kids".

Some man may get cold feet about the kids. But if you are sure that he does want a child then it is very easy, see a Gynaecologist and a urologist together. They can run few test and provide all natural method, instructions, and a kit to record peak period for conceiving, and keep good record of the activity and a thermometer to take body temperature to determine optimum period for conceiving.

See your gynaecologist and in private confidencial manner tell him what you wrote here, and more, if you can do it on public forum then you should not be shy about it in the privacy of the office of a doctor. Then she/he will recommend a plan of action. You may need to talk to an urologist first also, in your husband's absence, so the doctor can have exact picture about your relationship. Your husband may not be as open and more shy then you.

There are very good drugs on the market for every things, now a days. So you must take advantage of it.

Problem may be "at work stress" related.

Please read my article on this topic.
*******************************
Conceiving

By

minootoo.

See a gynecologist with your husband. The doctor may ask your husband to see an urologist with you.

This way you will eliminate any health problem that might be keeping you from conceiving, by medicating them or correcting it with procedures.

Gynecologist will give a kit, it is a natural method to conceive, it will have instructions some blank charts for record keeping and it will have a thermometer to check temperature, under the breast of the female partner.

Make sure you read the instruction in the office and ask the doctor whatever you do not understand; doctor or nurse on duty will explain it to you and the partner.

Conceiving is a perfect science.

Answer 10

Married man answering: My question for you men is, just because your Wife isn't as attractive as your fav. **** stars, do she still turn you on? She certainly does. She's also had two children, and is extremely self-conscious about her body now, and think she looks terrible. However, every time she bends over I still get aroused, and I still think she's beautiful. I tell her, and she seems to ignore that or say 'you have to think that you're my husband'. You know what? I do not have to think that. But I do. I'm sure your husband is the same. Take his complements to heart, I'm sure they're genuine! Does it make you think less of your Wife? Not at all, there's no connection. I don't think men compare women as much as women compare men perhaps. Maybe its in a woman's nature to only want the 'best' man, whereas for a man, sexually, he wants all the hot women. That's a fancy way of saying that whether I think some **** star or angelina jolie is hot has no impact on how I think about my wife. I think she's hot, and I want her all the time! Do you think about these **** stars, with their awesome bodies while your having sex with your Wife? Never done that personally. I've tried fantasizing about other people a couple of times, mainly because I've heard other people say they did it, and wanted to see what it was like. Basically ... nope, I'm thinking about her. What is so great about ****? I wouldn't say is great. I'd rather have sex with my wife for sure. Sex + **** is fun for a change, its like being able to safely play at voyeurism/exhibitionism. Mainly I use **** because my sex drive is not being met. When it is, I only occasionally look at ****, and I guess its just an innate fascination. How does your Wife expect to live up to those **** stars? I don't know that there's anything to live up to. I guess contract size varies, but any reasonably attractie woman can be a **** star. You might better ask how your husband and I expect to live up to these **** star guys, who are massively equipped and can apparently go for hours :p

Answer 11

I'm going through this now with my wife. We're trying to have kids and it seems really discouraging when the affect your going for isn't happening. There is a lot of stress in trying to have children. Which I think may be your husband's problem. Maybe you should talk to him and find out what exactly his problem is. His inability to ejaculate may be a psychological thing probably from stress.