Yet another predicament?

Question

I work as a waitress at Frisch's in Cincinnati. I have just recently been offered the floor leader promotion, which I really want to take!

But here's the problem. I HATE myself sometimes. I mean, I love talking to people and I'm a good enough waitress, but I take even the slightest critisicms to heart, and I constantly feel judged by the other workers. I'm afraid they won't listen to me, and they'll make me feel even worse about myself.

What do you think?

Answer 1

Have confidence in yourself. They asked you to be the floor leader for a good reason, because of the skills, abilities and knowledge that you have.
I used to take criticisms to heart, but sometimes the criticisms were ment to help me be better and I took the good crititisms to heart and worked on those; the ones with out merit I forgot because they weren't meant to help me but to hurt or be insult me.
You will be judged by other workers continually, especially if you are the leader of the floor because there will be people who are jealous you got the position and those who feel they can do a better job. Do your best and you'll have done everything you could.
Don't worry about them not listening to you, you are the "floor leader" and they are supposed to take your directions. If they fail to, document who, what and where your directions were ignored and if it remains a problem and they are refusing to work with you then take the documentation to the person you report to. You'll be surprised how few people will give you grief, most people are their to work and pick up their paycheck.
As far as hating yourself goes, what is there to hate? You may not do everything perfect and guess what so does everybody else. Learn to forgive yourself and learn to forgive others. Sometimes their criticism of you is not valid and not even worth giving a second thought to.
Don't worry about them not listening to you as you will put more stress upon yourself, and may come off being unsure of the job. You know what the job is and what needs to be done, all you have to do is ask them to do it and assume they will, in most cases they will obey because you are their immediate supervisor. You will find a couple that will always complain and not do what you ask them to. It speaks more of them than it does of you. Let all criticisms end at work the minute you leave don't dwell on any mean words said to you. But guess what? You will make a mistake eventually (we all do) and it just means that you are human and not a bad person.
Enjoy your new position and follow you new job description, don't worry about the negative people you work with because nothing will ever satisfy them. You are well equipped to do the job, or they would not have asked you to become the floor leader. Continue to be yourself at work, as this is what probably landed you this promotion; learn what is expected of you in this new position and you will succeed.
Why hate yourself when it is clear that others, especially those that count the most at work feel you are a great employee and deserving of a promotion? Love yourself with all your flaws, because there is not a person who does not have them.

Answer 2

First off did you notice that when you were asking this question that you wrote, " I'm a good enough waitress ", that right there shows me that you do have some self-esteem, or you would not have said that. I also hope you take the promotion, remember you would not have been offered it in the first place if your boss didn't think that you were qualified. So there is another example of your ability to do this job. Think of it this way, if you were offered the job, than you must at least appear to others that you are good enough for the job. You got the promotion, therefore, whether you feel your co-workers are judging you are not is not a problem. They didn't get the promotion YOU did. If they don't listen to you than tell them you will report them to your boss. This is your career at this point in time. You don't have to be friends with who you work with, you need to get the job done right. Now that I said all that. It is much easier to be said than to do. Try really hard to be a good strong leader, be authoritative, but gentle in your approach with your co-workers. I don't know if you are a mom or not, but there is and old add age that really sums it up. I am always first a mom, and second, a friend. Good luck to you. Be proud of yourself, try doing positive self talk to yourself, it probably will feel weird at first, but eventually you will start to believe what you are saying.

Answer 3

Well, why have they offered you a promotion? I would go to your boss and have him or her identify your specific strengths, and reasons why you would be good at the floor leader position. Then tape these up on your mirror and look at them every day before you go to work.

In general, women have a lot more difficulty being criticized than men do. In addition, research shows that male leaders and female leaders are treated very differently. Women are labeled as "bitchy" when men may be labeled as simply doing what they need to do. It's tough.

However, look at this as an opportunity to learn, and as a challenge. Work with your boss and make sure you can go to him or her to "reality test" since maybe a situation will come up that you feel bad about... but really, is someone else's fault. At the same time, it's a learning experience for you, and you will be criticized sometimes. But don't let that stop you from getting promoted... just tell yourself... you are learning every day, and there is a REASON why they chose you and not someone else. Plus, look at your job objectively, and try to develop goals for your workers. What works? What doesn't work? What changes could be made? That kind of thing. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

It sounds like you need a good counselor. Take the job and seek out counseling at the same time. Good luck and congrats on the job!

Answer 5

Hun, as your responsibility grows, so will you. And it will do your self esteem good too. Take te job and remember that your boss already thinks you're good enough. You dont have to be perfect.

Answer 6

You need to deal with your low self esteem. Just think positive nad everything will be fine.