My neice is 19. She has a 9 month old son and is 6 months pregnant. She is having some complications with this pregnancy.. The Dr told her she would not be able to work for the rest of her pregnancy, so she quit her part time job. She has to go to the Dr. 2-3 times a week so they can monitor her baby. I am a stay at home mom of 4. I offered to watch my 9 month old nephew while she has Dr. appointments to try to help out. She wants me to watch her from 8:00 to 5:30 on the days she has appointments. I agreed to watch him that long for $20 dollars a day. She lives at home and has the support of our entire family, but now everyone is turning on me. They think I should keep the baby for free. Am I being unfair? I feel I'm being taken advantage of because I don't work outside the home. HELP
2007-11-13 02:36:29 · 31 answers · asked by lovemyittybitty 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Yeah, with four kids already what else do you have to do but watch an infant as well? I think asking for the $20 is a good idea. Maybe you could save it up and buy her a tubal ligation after this child is born.
She wants you to watch the baby all day for the appointment? Give me a break. And what are the rest of the saints in your family doing while you are watching her kid?
2007-11-13 02:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by Brian A 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Okay first 4 children of your own is a full time job, and your staying at home. I could see if you was only watching her 9 month old for 1 day from 8:00-5:30 but 2-3 days out of the week for that period of time while at the same time taking care of your own children. That is like taking on a part time job. I don't now about $20.00, maybe $5.00 a day I know that seems really low. However she has a 9 month old and is 6 months pregnant which means that she is gonna need some kind of money to pay for diapers, formula, clothes, etc.... I would just say if you feel that its unfair not to charge her at all I would take the price down. Good Luck
2007-11-13 02:54:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were just watching the baby for the appointments that would be one thing.
I doubt the appointments run from 8 - 5:30 am, even with driving time.
She should definitely pay you if you are going to be watching the baby for what will be 28.5 hours a week. which averages out to about $2.11 per hour.
Just because you stay at home doesn't mean you don't work and live a life of leisure. If she has the "support" of the entire family then somebody else can watch the baby (who requires a lot of time and attention) for free. You are already busy enough with four children.
I'd print this out and show it to your family.
Good luck!
2007-11-13 04:50:08 · answer #3 · answered by pcgirl2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 4 kids and am a stay at home mom. I am not here to be anyone's free babysitter. I have a lot of things to get done, too. I'm willing to help out in a pinch....but I don't want to be responsible all day for anyone else's kids. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Maybe you could agree to watch the baby one day a week for free and she could arrange different care for the other days. It's all fine and good to help out, but it's your life and there's no reason that you are designated to be the sitter just because you don't work outside the home.
2007-11-13 03:00:28 · answer #4 · answered by xxxxxxxx 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
9 1/2 hours is a long time to be at a doctor's appointment. I've never had one last that long. But anyways...
I have a 10 month old niece and nephew. They are twins. I watch them all the time while their parents (my sister and brother in law) work. I would never ask them to pay me for watching the twins. I enjoy the time I get to spend with them. I have never, and will never, ask her to pay me. Spending time with them is payment enough for me. However, I don't have to take care of 4 of my own kids like you do either. It's your call on that. If you've already worked it out with your niece, than it's yours and your niece's business, not the rest of the family.
That being said, if she were my niece, and 19 years old with a 9 month old and 6 months pregnant with another child, I would tell her to use the $20 to buy some birth control!!!
2007-11-13 03:05:56 · answer #5 · answered by E M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Taking care of your four children every day is a full time job. Just because you don't work for someone else, doesn't mean your time isn't valuable. Your first priority should be your own children. It's very nice of you to offer to help your niece (who doesn't sound too responsible, by the way), but you don't owe her anything. If she wants you to watch her child, she needs to pay. She didn't get pregnant all by her self, so perhaps the baby's father should be the one to pay. I agree with everyone who has said 8:00 to 5:30 sounds a bit ridiculous. Stick to your guns, and put your own family first. This isn't your responsibility!
2007-11-13 03:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by Tiss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that it is a very long time to watch a baby. I used to watch my neighbor's daughter for free and that is tiring work, so I don't think you are out of line to ask for $20. Time is money and if she doesn't like the arrangements, then she can simply go somewhere else. You have 4 children of your own to look after and you're being kind enough to watch her child. A baby at 9 months is on solids and providing food for a child, as well as entertainment, isn't always so easy or free. You have your own family to look after and need the money for your children. Talk it over with her and explain your side of it, as to why you need the money, and see if she likes it or not. If not, then she can go elsewhere.
2007-11-13 02:46:17 · answer #7 · answered by Astragalo 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Normally I might say that it's family and you shouldn't charge, but I think it's a good lesson in responsiblity for your neice. She needs to know that everyone isn't going to be doing things for free for her all the time.
I don't intend to come off harsh, but I personally a few young mothers who's family have "helped" them out too much for free-clothes, food ect for the baby. The only thing I've seen come from those mothers is they expect every one else to continue to feed and clothe their children. And they take advantage of the other family members way too often.
On the other hand, I've seen young mothers who've had some, but little help and they turn out to be the most responsible mothers.
I feel for your neice in that she's having complecations, but I think you are doing the right thing.
2007-11-13 05:46:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see both sides here. You ARE being taken advantage of BUT I don't think asking for money was a good thing either.
You offered to watch your nephew while your niece had dr. appts, not to watch him for almost 10 hours day 2-3 times a week, right??
You know she doesn't have money since she had to quit her job. Find another way for her to repay you for your kindness if you feel as though it's due. An agreement for her to baby-sit for you after she's had her baby maybe??
2007-11-13 03:02:31 · answer #9 · answered by Jennield 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard work watching a child that young esp. when you have 4 kids yourself. It also takes more time away from your own kids.
You just offered to watch the baby while she was at her appointments not so she could have 2-3 days a week off of watching her own baby. Sounds to me like she trying to use you and she's enlisting the support of your family.
2007-11-13 02:49:14 · answer #10 · answered by Rogue 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋