i've been with my man for 3 years we have a family and house together the thing is i don't want to be intimate in anyway with him, no kissing or cuddling nothing, when we have been intimate it feels wrong, i don't want to say anything to him cause it would hurt his feelings but im just not interested in him in that way anymore, my sex drive is still here but when im with him it vanishes, how can i get the spark back?
2007-11-13 02:01:35 · 24 answers · asked by mizzmamma 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i've never cheated on him and never will,
2007-11-13 02:09:26 · update #1
Thats not cool, but its not your fault. You feel how you feel. I dont think that spark is going to come back without some drastic change. Just decide if a relationship cant be continued without any intimacy. Did you cheat before? You could be feeling guilt. Anyways, its wrong to continue living like that. Be honest, regardless if it hurts him.
2007-11-13 02:07:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My wife has the same problem. She doesn't like being intimate most of the time. I try not to pressure her but its starting to get frustrated when she doesn't show any interest. I would suggest just to try to work things out with your husband before seeking outside help.
2007-11-13 02:18:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all have a physical and make sure your hormones are A-ok
Are you married or just shacking up? Shack ups do tend to get bored it seems.
Sometimes just doing it, gets you back in the mood.
Are you holding a grudge against "your man". Did he forget sweetest day or your birthday?
Become more physically active, get a new hair cut/color buy a new outfit. Pamper yourself a little bit to feel more feminine.
Good Luck
2007-11-13 02:12:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, how you sound just like me! I,ve been married for almost 9 years, and I cant seem to get the ole spark back either. But I can tell ya one thing, if we dont, someone else will, and I have mixed feelings about that, at times I dont care if he did, and other times I,d have to kill him. I think that we get way to caught up in our own lives and wants and needs, and kinda kick our men to the curb, and we need to stop and think about their needs and wants. Like I said before if we dont satisfy their needs someone else will, so maybe we need to start being more giving of ourselves and just start giving it up? If were tired bored or have no drive, then maybe its time we just stop thinking about what we want and start pleasing our mates? Bordom in the bedroom is a killer in relationships, so we must either A- give it up-Or B- risk losing our guys? What do you think?
2007-11-13 02:11:35 · answer #4 · answered by penelope 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd say at this point it must be hell for you, considering that you know how you're feeling and you've not said anything to him. So he has no idea of what you're going through. You've mentioned that you didn't want to say anything to him, for fear of hurting his feelings, that's honorable, but what about you......if anything is going to change, then he'll need to know and be involved in the efforts to get there. The only other thing that might help, is the Viagra for women.....maybe your MD could suggest something.........I'd try that first.
2007-11-13 02:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I am going through the samething but I got over that hump. My man smokes and then thinks its okay to kiss me afterwards. NASTY!!!! I tried this out: One night we went out and he wanted to smoke.....so I said that if you do it then I am going to also...stupid but it worked. He saw that it hurted me so much that he got the clue. Try to change things up you be the one that always want to have sex, cuddle and everything. One thing I learned from a male is that when they see a female wantin it more then himself its like a turn-off.
2007-11-13 02:47:01 · answer #6 · answered by Nala 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow,that could be very frustrating for the both of you. I cant say me and my wife are overly lovey dovey,as in kissing and cuddling,but we still tear it up in the bedroom 3-4 times a week.
2007-11-13 02:08:35 · answer #7 · answered by daddyjohndeer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There could be a hormonal issue. Your body does go through changes after child birth and perhaps your estrogen level is lower than it should be. I would recommend talking to your gynecologist or an endocrinologist about getting tested. My wife went through something similar and that is what it turned out to be. She started taking hormone supplements and now things are back to normal.
2007-11-13 02:12:58 · answer #8 · answered by Older Guy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For one thing, you need to be honest with him. It's not fair to both of you to waist time in your lives by putting this off. Eventually he will realize the issue and if/when he finds out how long it's been going on he will be even more devastated. Be honest and you will have a clean conscience for it.
2007-11-13 02:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by LithoMan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should talk to your husband and explain this to him. I am sure his feelings will be repaired, once you talk this out and find out what the problem is. If he is understanding he will work with you. He will do almost anything you get your intimacy back.
2007-11-13 02:10:16 · answer #10 · answered by iceman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋