Can someone tell me why after my husband has hit my noise and squeezed the back of my neck. why i'm the one lookin for answers why he's doing this when he thinks it's b/c i nagg him on to hitting me. why am i the one still searching for his love and affection. he blames me b/c i should know that he's getting mad i should leave him alone so whatever h appens after it's my fault. but why am i so stupid to still try and understand this.
2007-11-13 01:46:30 · 21 answers · asked by Mrs. H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I appreciate all your answers. to add to all of this i have 3 kids. but the last thing he said to me was that he will leave me alone. i keep asking him what that means and i don't get a response. he has hit me before and i've hit back but i'm no match for me and that just feul the flame. i know it's easier said than done to leave but i don't have the strenght nor the courage to do it. i need to find it
2007-11-13 02:09:55 · update #1
Your self esteem has hit ROCK BOTTOM. I know what you're going thru. You don't feel battered enough ,so you stay, yet you are not strong to leave. You've been beat down emotionally plus you sound co- dependant on the jack-***. It's really up to you. No matter how much advice you get, until you are ready to leave the situation, it's going to remain the same. Just know that you are NOT the only woman to have gone thru this, and that YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL!!!! That man WILL NOT CHANGE his ways, you will be the only one to change. If you like playing the VICTIM, and the attention you get from that, then stay. But if you are strong, live life on your own terms, and won't take crap, but are having a momentary lapse of judgement, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET OUT. But it's totally up to you.
2007-11-13 02:11:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all "YOU'RE NOT STUPID " you love him obviously and are trying to understand why he is treating you the way he is. What you have to understand really clearly is that none of this is YOUR FAULT and you can't blame yourself for his actions. He is old enough to think about what he is doing, and nobody and I do mean NOBODY has the right to hit you no matter what. So that being said, instead of staying in a relationship where you are being abused, just leave. You might think you can't make it by yourself, but you can and somebody out there will find you and love you and appreciate you for who you are. Don't let this man take your pride away and don't let him tell you other wise.
If you can , just leave, take you things and go. I hope you find the help you need to get away from him before it gets much worse.
Good luck
2007-11-13 02:03:02 · answer #2 · answered by johanne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him.Mental abuse you don't need and he will ruin your selfesteem.Don't be blinded by his words.Wake up to his actions.Physical abuse you should leave and seek help.But definatly do not stay with him.I lived with an abusive husband for ten years and they don't change,but only gets worse.He will beat you down and make you feel worthless if he hasn't already.You will begin to feel that know one will want you and you will stay thinking this is the best place to be instead of being alone.Not true.It is better to be alone then get the crap beat out of you by a man.Ask god for strength and leave him please.If he was a real man he would've walked away before he hit you.He is a week person and needs you to make him feel manly.So don't be his punching bag for when things don't go his way.And that is what you will become if you don't get out.
2007-11-13 02:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by lollypop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you haven't left yet..come on what is it going to take to get you to leave.. a trip to the hospital...been there..just get's worse...and it will always be your fault that never changes either run ...ruuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnn as far and as fast as you can..this is serious..do you have children with this man because when they make him mad he will hit them too.. is this the kind of man you want your children raise around because they will think that behavior is ok and they too will be in a relationship similar when they grow up or they will be ...abusive themselves is that the life you want for your children...need I say more...and Sandra D your an idiot if you think that's a part of love in any way ..you need help
2007-11-13 02:05:56 · answer #4 · answered by sweetness 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You self esteem is at a all time low. Stop beating yourself up and taking the blame. There is NO man out there that has the right to hit you. You can't change him, but you can find help on changing you. Do not go another day with this kind of abuse, it will only get worse.
2007-11-13 01:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by cooter726 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No one deserves to be hit,let the first hit be the last because it only gets worse for you and any children you may have.Put a stop to it now by leaving,I know it is easier said than done some times,but this is your life and you don't deserve it find family and friends or shelter to say as long as you get away.
2007-11-13 01:54:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl you need to pack your bags and run as fast as you can away from this man. There are many good men out there who will not treat you like a punching bag. Stop looking for answers in the wrong direction start looking for your inner strength to get up and leave. Yes its scary but in the long run violence tends to escalate and you don't want to be a statistic with a toe tag.
2007-11-13 01:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by Arin D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave. Leave now. Abusers ALWAYS blame their victims and soo many victims BELIEVE it. DON'T believe hime. Please. I am begging you to leave. Please research women who have gotten out and their lives become this wonderful thing that they didn't ever believe could happen. I don't care what you think of yourself or how you feel that you behave, you do NOT deserve to be hit or abused in any way. Pleeeeeaase! LEAVE NOW!
I saw where you added more comments.
I know it's hard. There's the money issue, there's the kids freaking out and where on earth would you go.....
The thing is ...... your life isn't worth crap if you are dead. Here's the other thing. Your girls are learning that they deserve to be treated that way and your boys are learning that it's ok to treat others that way. Please just start praying about this. I'm praying for you too.
2007-11-13 01:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by ....... 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you are not stupid. He has no rights to put his hands on you period! It is abuse and you don't need to take it. Thriving for your spouses attention is not a problem. The problem is him showing his affection by abuse. You need to tell him how you feel and if he reacts by putting his hands on you then call the police. His anger will only escalate from the sounds of it. Good Luck.
2007-11-13 01:51:56 · answer #9 · answered by Nikki 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off you are NOT stupid. Many women in abusive relationships ask the very same thing.
NO MAN SHOULD EVER HIT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You should find a spouse abuse center in your area. They can help you with leaving your husband. They also help with housing, job training, getting financial help, and many other things.
His abuse is not your fault!!!!!!!
2007-11-13 02:01:02 · answer #10 · answered by Ravensgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋