Relationship Help...?

Question

Jeremy and I have been together for 3 years, and engaged for 2. We moved out last month, to start our life together. We had been fighting here and there, nothing to major. So I came home from work last night and he had packed all of his things and left me. Im absolutely devastated. I want him back, and want to make things work. There is so much i need to change within myself to make it work, and i know that. I just dont know what to do. Has anyone been in my situation? Did he realize what he had and come home? Did he come back to you? Any advice would be great right now. Im here, alone, I have no one. Ive been up 24 hours already. I cant sleep, I cant eat. Please help.

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear it. It hurts so much to lose someone you love. I have known the pain you are feeling now.

At the moment, there is nothing you can do but wait. When this happened with my boyfriend, I felt physical pain. Thankfully for us, he realised he had made a mistake and within a couple of days we were back together. It took many months to really iron out the issues, though, and we didn't live together again for another 6 months after the break up. We kind of slowed things down until we had really got to grips with what went wrong first time around. We've now been married for 9 years. :)

I hope for your sake this happens to you. If it is meant to be, then hopefully in time he will realise that. Give him time and space, and he might come around. In the mean time, you can do what you said you needed to do - work on yourself.

If he doesn't come back, you will have no choice but to try to put your life back together and move on. That doesn't happen overnight either. But you will survive, and you will be ok, and there will be someone some day who is right for you.

Still, I wish you all the best whatever comes of this. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Remember that.

Answer 2

You said that you need to change alot about yourself...I can only hope that you want to make changes to better yourself and not just to make him happy. He obviously needs to make some changes too...like communicating and not just running away.
It is early and I know you are hurting very deeply. However, you need to start to work on yourself and being content ALONE. He may not come back so you need to forget about whether he will or will not and begin to live your life alone. You will eventually be happy alone and THEN you can give freely in a relationship because you will have learned to accept yourself.
After a bad break-up last year I stopped eating and sleeping for quite awhile. I lost 15 pounds in a month and was a mess. I started taking St. Johns Wort and within 2 weeks noticed a BIG change. I began to see the realtionship as it was (very unhealthy and co-dependant). Once I accepted the TRUTH about "us" and gave up my fairytale idea of "us" I was able to move on and begin to love myself for the first time in a LONG time. Eventually I was happy as a clam coming home to my empty apartment, two cats, reality tv, and QUIET! After about 5 months of that I agreed to go on a date and believe I am now with someone that is 100 times better for me.
Count on him NOT coming back and be real about the cons of the relationship. He is NOT perfect, you can't change him, you CAN change yourself so that's what you should be concentrating on.

Answer 3

Be cool and wait ti hear from him. Do not call and beg, do not seem desperate. Above all be cool, if he thinks you are ok with this it will bother him. If he calls ask questions about it but be cool, stay in control in front of him or you will give him the upper hand. He is more likely to deal with you and work this out if he is hurting worse (or thinks so). If he left for someone else or some other reason there may not be much you can do. Take care of yourself, I know it sucks.

Answer 4

Yes, I can relate, and I would like to tell you all of the details but I don't have the time or the energy, but my situation was just as bad if not worse when my fiancee decided to leave me without telling me. But the thing is be grateful he left, bc you don't want to be with a man who doesn't love you. He could never love you the way you need to be loved or deserved to be loved and that my dear you can do without. It doesn't get better with time, so be thankful that he left. Now don't spend to much time worrying about it bc you will miss the true love of your life who can love you back

Answer 5

If you feel you need to change things about yourself then get help to do that. Who knows maybe afteryou get the help you won't want him. If you do then he may like the change and come back. Be glad this didn't happen after marriage and a couple of kids... Get the help you need TODAY!

Answer 6

it's kind of strange the way he left; i don't know the insides of your relationship, but it seems like he fled like a thief...
Know what, it takes 2 to make it work or to break it. If he left, it means it's over; he even hadn't the guts to let you know.
So get up and move on...
You're still alive and surely were before you met him. We all have things to change in ourselves.
Sometimes what one partner doesn't like, another one finds it attractive.
Don't beat yourself up; try to love you...you're not alone in this friends; haven't you got friends and family ?
It might be time you get back in touch with them...
Tak care.

Answer 7

i was 24 when the same thing happened to me. yes i know you feel just terrible right now. i let him go and he married the girl he left me for, 3yrs. later he was divorced, found out he got into some serious drugs, later he a brain tumor. well god does things for a reason. i'm glad in my situation that he did leave. brighter days are ahead, they really are good luck

Answer 8

Don't ask or beg him for nothing. Things could of been worse, he could of left you with kids and a bunch of bills. Find yourself a real man. They're out there.

Answer 9

if you know there are things to change then work your best on changing them. Why did he leave? If you don't know ASK
In the meantime try reading the book in the resource area....it is a book that has really helped my husband and I in our marriage.

Answer 10

Sounds like he is afraid of responsibility. so far mine hasnt realized his mistake , but time will tell. he too is afraid of responsibility. when you moved out on your own all of a sudden there were bills to pay etc.etc. or was everything in your name? did he go back to his parents? is he on his own, if so maybe he met someone else. hes looking out for himself.why do you need to change to suit him.?