What's with the constant abandonment??

Question

My cell phone recently broke for the last time. I asked my husband a month ago if I could get a new one, he said, "next week" every week. now our house phone is shut off, becasue the bill was unpaid. He went to the grocery store for us, becasue I'm nine mos. preg. w/ back pain, and didn't get any foods for lunch. I mentioned yesterday that he left us here with no phone and no money for lunch foods. He seemed defensive because he has done this to us...10 times at least inthe last 6 mos. I'm unsure what to do. today, and when this happens again, becasue If I leave it up to him I know it will.
Help!!

also, my 1 year old daughter is here with me all day, who is tired of peanut butter and jelly

Answer 1

When someone loves you, they make sure you are taken care of. Don't "ask" him if you can get a new phone, GO GET ONE! What happens when you are at home alone and go into labor, or a fire starts, or you fall and hurt yourself, or HE gets hurt, or something is wrong with the baby once it comes home...you need a form of communication to contact help if needed. As far as the lunch goes, ask him for a set amount at the beginning of the week so he only has to remember one time and you have the money for the week. Take some ibuprofen and get out to get a phone and lunch foods.He knows you are venerable right now and that you depend on him, start depending on yourself more and MAYBE he'll wake up. I understand you are pregnant but you need to take on some responsibilities too. He is paying the bills, shopping, AND working...surely you can pay a few bills, do it on the computer...most places will allow you to also get a new cell phone via the Internet and most offer online discounts as well.

Answer 2

First of all quit having kids with this man!! He is not looking out for you guys. There are food programs out there that will help you. Do you have any family?? Call the salvation army, and there are food closets that can help also. What is he doing with all the money,and how come your not handling any of the finances?? where is the money going?? Does he have a good job?? i have a lot of questions. My ex husband used to do that to me too. That is why he is my ex. I found a good man who takes excellent care of me, and just bought me a new home, and we never go without. I left my ex found a job with Walgreen's Distribution Center, with benefits, weekends off and was able to support my kids and I for 3 years on my own until ......I met my new husband. Something is not right here, that a man could leave his family with nothing. I think there is a lot more to the story on his side of it. If it was me I know I'd be so done.l would be raising some stink. What is he doing with the bill money?? Do some investigating. Too bad, your pregnant....I don't mean that the way it sounds, but if it was just you and one kid it would be easier to leave and start a new life without him. Do some talk-in to that boy and find out what is going on.

Answer 3

Well this is classic passive aggressive behavior. This shouldn't be new to you. He's probably acted this way in your whole relationship. I'm guessing that it manifests itself now because you are pregnant and need him.

Sit him down and tell him how much you need him and how much help you need. Lay down some rules.

First, make a list of things that have to get done during the week. Set aside a time when he has to get it done (no excuses!!) By the end of the week, he has to make sure all the items are crossed off his list. But help him in the beginning. Go with him to the store to make sure he's doing exactly what you need. Tell him this is the only way the marriage will survive. If he doesn't seem acceptable to this.....then he doesn't respect you!! And you make have to take more drastic measures like counseling.

Answer 4

You need to stop playing the victim and get some help. If you don't have money for food then go to social services and apply for food stamps then go to the dang store. Your pregnant not disabled!! I had three children and a baby on the way when my husband really did abandon me and I had cancer.....but we survived and I provided for my family and they never had to eat peanut butter and jelly because we didn't have groceries. Obviously you are not going to be able to depend on this guy so stop trying, get off your butt and take care of the baby you already have and get ready for that second one. And while your at it get rid of the bum of a husband who can't even provide the bare necessities for his family, he is just dead weight. Cowgirl up little girl it's time to take care of those babies you just had to have!!

Answer 5

I don't know that it abandonment. Obviously he is having a hard time paying the bills. May I suggest you guys cut back somewhere. The two of you need to sit down and go over the finances. And then the both of you need to create a grocery list that you need to stick to. This is an issue that can be easily resolved with communication.
And may I suggest birth control once the baby is born, I wouldn't be having any more children with this man if you truly feel he's abandoning you.

Answer 6

I would start by making a plan to leave the the self made S.O.B. And after the baby is born I would do all that was needed to leave his sorry butt.

You can do better on your own than waiting on a male to do it for you.

It took me many years to find this out for myself. My ex-husband did not work, nor did he help around the house much. After my kids were old enough for school I started working. I would work my full time job and any part-time job I could. I paid the bills. I took care of the children. I cleaned the house. ect.

I left him and now I have one less mouth to feed.

Help is out there. Just Look.

Answer 7

wow OBVIOUSLY you cant work because your 9months pregnant ....I'm shocked that he would leave you alone at home with no phone to call anyone in case of an emergency..if I was you right after the baby I would start a journal of all the things he's said and done to you hows hes left you etc..and when your able to work again I would start saving up money to leave him and you can use your journal in court or anything else to show how unfit he is to be not only a husband but a father to leave you and your daughter and unborn child ALONE at home with no phone no money for food etc...you need to leave him no one that cares for anyone would do something like that...sorry you have to go though all this especially during your pregnancy

Answer 8

Ten Point,

No one likes having their chores taken away.

Ask your guy friend or male neighbor to pick something up at the store, or help you get a job so you can pay for the phone service.

Your husband will get in an angry panic attack and fix the cell phone, reconnect the service and stock up the freezer, cupboards and refrigerator for a month.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

even I don't think of all meals at times at the store, he probably has alot on his mind... be blessed that you have something to eat! a good suggestion is to make extra for dinner and eat leftovers for lunch... as for the phone, I would not worry about that... I lived w/o a phone for years! obviously you still have internet... so the money must not be too bad that's coming in... approach him "nicely" on these matters... good luck... people lived w/o phones a long time ago, we can live w/o them now... if you need something, you have neighbors, I am sure... heck, you can even get a hold of the police online, lol! =)

Answer 10

When you weren't pregnant, did you do all this work? If so maybe he is not used to doing this and just does not want to. Some men are just that stubborn. Also how is your sex life...men not getting sex is the worst treatment for them. I completely understand that at this time of your pregnancy things are just too hard. And I am not suggesting that you give in to him either. It's just FYI. Hope that everything works out for you. Maybe you two really need to sit down to talk. My husband was the same way at times.