My x-husband tried hard to kill me, but he only succeeded in disableing me. Im in my fourth year of a battle with S.S.I. with appeal after appeal. Unable to work, and my beautiful boys, have picked all the peacans from the yard already just to pay our electric bill. Will it ever change for us? Will we ever just have a christmas full of joy instead of sorrow? Five christmas's and five brithdays now, and Nothing from their Father. No childsupport or alomony, even though its court ordered. Mom's shouldnt have it this hard. I have two wonderful children, whom deserve to have some of things other kids have, like bikes, and x-boxes but its not possible for me to give to them at this time. If I could work I would work 80 hrs a wk just give them the things they deserve. And this year, my 12 yr old was physically assaulted by a school teacher on his team, this child deserves so much love after the things he has been through. Does anyone care in this world anymore?
2007-11-13 01:27:15 · 17 answers · asked by Sunshine 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
How does the law in your place work? You said that your Ex tried to kill you but he only succeeded in disabling you, meaning you are not living together, right? How did he succeed in disabling you if you are not living with each other and he is your EX? did you not ask help from police officers? don't you have a lawyer to help you? You don't have any earnings, how do you survive or how do you get food? Your child had been assaulted by a school teacher, did you file a complaint for that?
<>I have a hard time in understanding your situation and tend to doubt upon reading, but at the same time, I feel pity of your situation also and your kids. If this could only be proven to be real in your life's situation, I may be able to help you out even a little of it. But just I really need an evidence: a sort of pictures from the family; any means I could communicate with you and your kids (just to ensure everything); and personal queries (I need to be convinced)...and the like.
At any rate, have confidence in yourself and don't lose your hope. Someday, sooner or later, you will find the real happiness in life that you're longing for both of the family. Have courage and faith too.
2007-11-13 01:45:47 · answer #1 · answered by ~o0o~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do care but many are just afraid to stand up and fight for what they believe in or lend a hand; others may feel like as long as it isn't affecting them directly they shouldn't worry about it. I am sorry to hear about your trials and those of your children but there are others in this world like you and some who are even worse off. Just always remember when times get bad that there is always someone somewhere in the same or worse situation and that should help ease your pain. As far as the whole holiday gift problems, there are a lot of organizations out there that would be willing to help. Check with your local Churches, Food Pantries and Police Departments. I hope this will bring you some comfort and reassure you that you and your family are not alone!
2007-11-13 01:35:33 · answer #2 · answered by Aprilbride 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you able to're making selfmade Christmas enjoying cards on the cyber web? My young babies do this each and each twelve months. I definitely have self assurance the fee of enjoying cards on my own are so severe this is ridiculous. So make your enjoying cards and in them say something like this: Christmas is a kinfolk time and that i'm so fortunate which you're mine. If issues weren't so tight this twelve months, you will possibly have a effective latest, my expensive. So what I supply you is all my love, which grew to become into given to me from above.... Love, in basic terms got here out i'm hoping that gets you began.... Cheers :)
2016-10-02 01:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by lakey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mel,
Sorry to hear ur on the wrong end of a wupping stick.
grab the phone book and play telemarketer with the social services . the squeakest wheel get the best grease.
may i suggest a reading of '48 days to work u love' d.miller . a good book for going forward and plenty of fresh reference material.
u need a fresh perspective and a ray of hope, hug the kids.
the other one is 'total money make over' d.ramsey helps our folks retain their cash.
spending less and getting more value from their paychecks.
our associates have a mandatory read of the books.
call ur state AttorneyGeneral they can often Hunt Down Dead beats and get blood 'money' from a stone or ex.
2007-11-13 01:35:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what -- I was in the same position -- my ex-spouse (from a short disaster of a marriage) DID try to kill me as well ... and was also convicted of abusing my CHILDREN (2 -- both disabled -- one has Asperger's Syndrome (High Functioning Autism), other has Severe ADHD). He burglarized my home/office, and stalked and damaged my car, etc.
NO child support either -- believe me, I even asked the state (by filing for Child Support Enforcement -- but ... given that the State of California REFUSED to cooperate with out-of-state Child Support Enforcement Activity), that was another dead end.
____________
(For those who DOUBT out here ... as far as the Police are concerned ... they are LITTLE to NO help at all -- they won't respond, and if they do -- there is NO Effort to take reports or investigate .. in fact, I HAD to ARGUE with the OFFICER and THREATEN to file action in order to get the Paperwork to WRITE my Report -- and then ... it NEVER was investigated at all! I ASKED -- and I went to the District Attorney too to COMPLAIN. But .. when you have an Abusive Ex-Spouse (or spouse) .. there is NOTHING that helps.
And IF you get to court -- well, the JUDGE sits there with a SMIRK on their face, and the LAWYER for the Ex argues that "Oh, my client was 'forced' to respond that way by the ex -- it is the ex-es "fault" ..." ... and the JUDGE says ... gee, "I believe the Ex will NOT stalk again, so I DENY the Restraining Order Extension" ... and guess what -- you are stalked, burglarized, have your identity stolen, property damaged and assaulted over and over again .. down through the decades --
How do I know this -- PERSONAL EXPERIENCE -- since my own ex-spouse ONCE AGAIN Burglarized MY HOME in August 2006 -- with the WILLING HELP of an Adult Child ... and IF I was NOT out paying the Bills --- I would have DIED That day -- THANK GOD for my bills).
_________
I ended up working VERY, VERY Hard -- and continued to work through that disaster of a marriage, as well as afterwards.
Here is a suggestion -- and it was embarassing, but I needed to do it (since with their medical bills as well as the debts I had to pay out of the Divorce left me struggling) ...
Look in your phone book -- find the phone number for the Salvation Army or other Charities, and ASK about their Angel Tree or Childrens' Christmas Programs ... and ...
REMEMBER .. you MUST bring proof of your income, bills, and your childrens' needs (especially if they have medical problems too).
Believe me, there are people out there who care, and my children were able to have a Christmas for the first couple of years after the Divorce ONLY because of organizations like this.
Ever since then, I go to the Angel Tree and DONATE myself -- to give back for the kindness of others and what they did for MY Children.
I can say this -- IT WILL Change -- maybe not immediately .. but one day you will turn around and see the BLESSINGS that you have as a result of going through and ENDURING the DIFFICULT TIMES that you are dealing with at this point in your life.
I am now a couple of decades past the ending of that horror of my own marriage ... didn't date, my children are adults (and on their own), and guess what -- I am VERY HAPPY now too, knowing that I did this on MY OWN ... using my own hard work, EARNED everything I have, and yes, got help when I needed it.
DO try these organizations -- and ask! Ask also if they have retraining programs for you as well -- for sometimes, they include FREE childcare as you go to school or training too. There IS help out there .. you just need to contact the organizations and get the paperwork filled out.
2007-11-13 01:49:17 · answer #5 · answered by sglmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you care is the question..Your talking about giving your children materialistic products. What about what they need most!!! Your children need for you to step up and say we do not need material items because we have one another. This is so much more then a XBOX. Teach your children what they will receive this Christmas is the understanding and knowledge of taking care of themselves with respect and love. Children have needs that are so much more then a present under the tree. They need to feel secure in their home. Security and safety. Don't get stressed over the material things. Take your children to a soup kitchen or to a firehouse and wrap gifts for the needy. Your children will thank you for you teaching them that life is what you make of it, Don't let life make you. We all have circumstances in our life but when we become parents we are making someone else's life. Be careful. I'm so thankful your not with your husband any longer but your still with him in emotions waiting for n buser to give you something is still feeling the abuse. Do it on your owe. If your children truely need a xbox talk to the lovcal churches they will cherish your children with gifts and prayers. Remember life is what YOU make of it!
2007-11-13 01:44:36 · answer #6 · answered by halfptnohio 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thank god that he didn't succeed in killing you, he didn't succeed because you are meant to be here for a purpose.It wasn't your time to go to god. The best gift for your boys is that they still have their mother in their lives. Family is the most important thing in life. Don't let an evil heartless man that tried to take your sons mother from them ruin your life, he will get what he deserves and things will turn for the better for you and your boys, some people go threw a rough patch in life but as long as you don't give up things will get better for you.Don't give up on SSI be persistent with them and prove your disability. I'll keep you in my prayers for you and your boys to get what you deserve.God has always answered all of my prayers, maybe not in the way that I thought he would but in the way that he knew was best for me. I went threw a rough patch but things slowly started to get better in my life thanks to the power of prayer.GOD BLESS
2007-11-13 01:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by LILAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree no parent should have it this hard, but if you can't get SSI and it appears you have no income why not turn to welfare? There are charities out there that will help you provide your children with a Christmas. I'd even contact your local news outlet (paper or station) and see if they can get your story out there...someone will help you.
If you are making this up and trying to garner false sympathy then that is simply a horrid thing to do.
2007-11-13 01:35:14 · answer #8 · answered by Gloria H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello Mel,
You are a victim of Social Security denying your rights to disability. My advice to you is to not take this longer. Open your phone book to the yellow pages and find you an attorney who specializes in getting disable people their social security disability. A good attorney will not ask you to pay anything to start your case. He will guide you and help you every step of the way in getting you your denied SSI. The way the attorney is paid, is from proceeds from your settlement from Social Security. The attorney will take a small percentage of the settlement to pay for your attorny's fees. Talk to more than one attorney, so find the most reputable attorney to take your case. The money you will receive will be retroactive to the first time and date you filed and were denied. Take all your paperwork from filing and being denied, and your's doctor's file of diagnosis to your attorney after making your appointment. He will review your case and get the case filed with SSI. SSI does not like for people to sue them, and most people win their cases in general with a settlement with good documentation from the doctor.
Children do not have to have X boxes even though they may want one. Games for them are as much as $75. or more apiece. Talk with a local church or Salvation army and other outreach programs in your area to help you to give your children a Christmas even though it may not be a X box or bikes. There are a lot of children like yours who do not have everything others have, but maybe my suggestions will help you to get on your feet. After doing so, please look into getting a free college education which is not available to just anyone and will be paid for you because of your disability. Disability only goes so far in covering your expenses, and you do not want to have to be dependant on and live in near poverty in order to just survive. SSI to date in generally bring in $602 a month. You will be eligible for low income housing, medicaide, a discount on your phone in some states, but you will still have to pay for your discounted rent, gas, electricity, and in some cases water. You will also be eligible for food stamps to help you feed you and your family. God bless you and your family. Now go to the phone book and look the attorney section up and get the ball rolling. Only you can help you.
2007-11-13 01:42:02 · answer #9 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, people do care. You need to find some. Go to a local church or shelter...get connected to your community services. My company has a program where employees adopt families like yours, and provide gifts and such for Christmas. You probably wouldn't see an x-box, but we have purchased bikes, games, etc. We get the family names from local services organizations, like Salvation Army, etc.
Confusing on how your ex could be earning money for child support...if he nearly killed you, isn't he in prison? I hope so.
2007-11-13 01:31:31 · answer #10 · answered by Night Owl 5 · 9⤊ 0⤋