My husband has gained 120pds. and I'm disgusted.?

Question

My husband & I got married 5 years ago after I got out of an abusive marriage.I had three little kids ,he was great and so forth.He used to be 162pds.now he's 282 and he's huge!!It's so embarressing,we go out & people look at me & him,I'm all dolled up,I'm 115pds.,long blonde hair and we get the oddest looks like 'what the heck!When he gets home from work(he's a builder & just stays on the phone all day supervising work)he plops on the bed & DOES NOT MOVE OFF OF IT except to eat dinner.I do EVERYTHING.Laundry,dinner,kids homework,bathtime,housework,yardwork,EVERYTHING.He says,"DAGGONIT he brings home the bacon THAT"S ENOUGH!Physically attraction wise he makes me want to vomit.His feet are scaly,he leaves feet crust & dried boogers in the bed and did I mention,he's HUGE!!He expects sex ALL the time!!For a man so big he has the most huge sex drive ever!!What do I do?He still stays he looks good!He only gives me food money when he's happy with me and he refuses consuling and won't listen

Good Lordy,what the heck to Everyone that's being so harsh!I met my husband in church and we did'nt even have sex until we could get married & that was a year because of my divorce.When you've been with someone who at first looked good,was a great father,I can't just keep running from relationship to relationship,I have three kids.I try to do the best I can for them.I'm a stay-at-home mom not by choice,but because my insecure husband says that if I don't want to be apart of his company than I'm selfish and horrible & I'll just stay home.We shoud be a "team"But....that convieniantly would have us together ALL DAY.I was a SAHM in my first marriage which for all you judgemental people,you try leaving an super abusive marriage with no job,no money,and three little ones, one of them a baby!So try that one on for size.My husband in the beginning was my knight in shining armor when I first met him,now that dream is over.

Answer 1

Have you told him that you aren't attracted to him anymore? It may be cruel to say, but he needs to hear it.

After you have told him all you feel you have to ask yourself if you really want to save the relationship, because, I hate to say it but, you got your work cut out for you.

You have to motivate him. Cook healthier meals and suggest the two of you go for afternoon walks.

Go get a pedicure together, anything, just try to get him out of the house more.

"Bringing home the bacon" is not enough. Your happiness should be important to him.

I wish you the best.

Answer 2

Better or worst? I didn't hear any better!! There is no excuse for lazy. Being over weight isn't the problem,it's the hygiene that grosses me out! And marriage is a partnership.why shouldn't you doing all the housework if you don't work.Which is ok to be a stay at home mom. I sure as heck wouldn't put up with a nasty man.And he definitely wouldn't touch me! If you are totally unhappy and differences in him has changed your feelings, then get a divorce. But be very careful with your next choice. Date until you are sure he is who you want forever

Answer 3

I'm surprised that nobody mentioned there could be a medical problem with your husband. He needs to see his doctor to rule out any health issues like diabetes or high blood pressure. He's at risk for a heart attack and stroke.. This is what you should be most concerned about. But as his wife, you're concerned about his weight and you need to bring this up to him. Don't go telling him he looks bad, tell him you're concerned for his health. You have some serious problems with his weight and need to find ways to handle it rather than bashing him online. If he refuses to see a doctor and this is something you truly can't handle, then you need to think about whether you want to spend anymore time with him. Personal appearance seems to be very important to you, so maybe you already know your answer.

Answer 4

I'm sorry but to me when you take your vows its "for better & for worse". How about getting on a (weightloss & fitness)program together? Therefore you'd CREATE a stronger bond. Cook lighter food... It's all about creating SOLUTIONS and working as a team...it's called MARRIAGE! Open up and communicate...I'm sure you can get through this rough spot. Have faith in eachother & your love.

Go to counseling (for the other issues first)...or leave. This is not healthy for your children...you can raise kids on your own...plenty of women do it...It's called CHILD SUPPORT.

Answer 5

maybe you should stop being so mean to this guy,,you get to stay home with your kids and he's supporting you and them,,where's your gratitude,,he's human,,women are usually the ones to gain a hell of weight,,in your situation it's the other way around,,maybe you should be nicer and loving towards him and he'll be more motivated to help you out and take care of his health,,the things your doing now are obviously not working,,you should try a new approach,,

your like the stupid lab rat that keeps bumping into the walls,,when all they have to do is find another approach to it,,you seem really shallow,,you already have three kids,,,worry about them and their childhood,,if this guy is good to them,,and overall kind with you,,,accept him,,and find a new approach to helping him,,,talk to him,about heart disease and diabetes,,,,

don't end up being one of these women going from man to man,,loosing their youthful looks for that i'm a used up,miserable old hag look,,you should stay and try and make it work with this guy,,your not perfect,,neither is he,,if you bounce from man to man,,your really jeopardizing your children's future,,they have a better chance of being successful adults in a two parent home,,

Answer 6

Hm, I would be upset as well, if you told me the same way you did in above. Maybe he is trying to deal with his issues and you putting pressure on him by complaining to him is not going to work.

Sit him down in a non threatening environment and tell him you want him to be around for you and the kids. The ways we are coping is not working for us. Let try this and go from there. Criticizing is only going to make things worst and defeat the purpose. If that is your true feelings. If not, then you need to move on. Good luck.

Answer 7

I would sit down with him and seriously discuss how you feel, and how if things dont change you are willing to to make the difficult decision to divorce him, and see what he thinks of that!... and i cant imagine that divorce is a good option because you have kids, but in the end i think it would work out best!

Answer 8

So you went from one bad relationship to hop into bed with another man and married him without knowing him very well, and now you want to come on here and whine about the situation you created? Get counseling and cook healthier food for him.

Answer 9

Tell him that he needs to lose some weight because its unhealthy for him.

Obviously you don't love him you just wanted an out. So now get out of the relationship when things get worse because your vows obviously left out the "for worse part".

grow up.

Answer 10

Wow sorry to hear this, if he will not help himself, guess what it's time to call it's quits, been there done this, but in my case it took 31 years to get it together, it's a long story.