That I have the children. We are different religions and I also get them on those holidays as well. I was going to get out of work early and pick them up tomorrow for my birthday and the same on the holiday. It is just an hour or two earlier than normal and my ex will not agree. I am tired of arguing all the time but the kids also want to see me as opposed to being home alone until my ex gets home. I emailed her that I will be there early tomorrow regardless of what she told me. When I was married she was the same way, very overbearing. If I do not stand up to her behavior this will never end. Any suggestions?
2007-11-13 01:11:43 · 23 answers · asked by paco 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
KP is correct. You have no right (and neither does your ex) to decide whether or not to adhere to the court order. If you attempt to pick the children up early, not only are you violating the court order, she can and should call the police and have you forceably removed from the home.
Believe it or not, I am on your side in this. But NOT if you thumb your nose at the court order. It is in place to control the behavior of people who cannot control themselves otherwise, as this example clearly illustrates.
As KP suggested, you need to forget about this birthday and picking them up early but plan for the future by filing a motion to modify. I would suggest that if there are specific events mentioned in the visitation order, then condition the pickup time on that.
For example, "...if the non-custodial parent has the ability to, he shall have the exclusive right to pick the children up no earlier than that time when school has ended for the day or at 5 p.m., whichever is earlier."
This gives you some wiggle room in case you have to work late or can't get there until your regular time but also allows you to retrieve the children before if you and they are free.
2007-11-13 01:52:59 · answer #1 · answered by hexeliebe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does the divorce decree stipulate? If it has no specific guidelines to hours, it should be mutually agreeable (evidently not so in this case though). However, if she is in fact, being unreasonable, for no reason other than to cause you further pain & discomfort, then go get the kids a day early & just take the day off from work! You may want to bring a sheriff/local policeman with you to enforce the custody agreement & provide a key witness if really necessary. Or, if the situation isn't that bad & they can't accommodate your wishes, can't arrive on short notice, etc., then bring a friend, a mutual friend would be best, like a former neighbor while U lived there.
And it might be good for you to leave a note, so she doesn't report the kids as being kidnapped. Say something like, "Got off of work early because it's my B-day, knew the kids were at home alone doing nothing special, so I came by to pick them up to help make my day special with them. I will return them at the normal time. -- Paco"
2007-11-13 02:11:52 · answer #2 · answered by Andy K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love your children...and your ex sounds like a B****. So do not go two hours early if she says no. Your children will probably have to listen to their mother disrespect you and that is not a good thing. They may act fine in front of you but the words that they will hear from their mother will haunt them forever...they are in the middle.They will figure out later in life that you were looking out for their best interests. Just enjoy whatever time you have with them and make it quality time that is what matters the most.
2007-11-13 02:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by tinc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The IRS would not care approximately what the court docket order says. The exemptions and different tax reward count on federal tax regulation. A divorce decree would not overrule federal tax regulation. The custodial determine, the guy with whom the babies actual stay for the greater effective form of nights throughout the twelve months, is the guy who controls who claims the exemption (positioned that divorce decree away - it would not make any distinction). Congress exceeded a regulation some years in the past with a tiebreaker for those that say "it rather is 50/50 custody." of course, rather, there's no such element as precisely 50/50 custody (twelve months in the twelve months), yet countless human beings claimed they had to make a regulation. If the two between the mother and father declare the babies, the IRS will grant the exemptions and different tax reward to the guy who had the utmost income. perhaps that fact "They stayed along with her greater or less 50% of the time" ought to be subtle to assert "They stayed along with her fifty one% of the time" or "40 9% of the time." that could supply you your answer.
2016-09-29 03:48:46 · answer #4 · answered by arruda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she’s being *totally unreasonable*. But legally, you don’t have grounds to 'stand up to her behavior'. If the custody/ visitation order states that you get the kids at 5:00 (or whenever), then that’s when you get them unless she agrees otherwise, or you go back to court and have it changed. Therefore, at this point, I would highly recommend that you not pick them up early if she’s told you not to, because you would be violating a court order.
2007-11-13 01:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear she is hard to deal with. You do have rights. Be agreeable write emails on times you would like to see the kids. Have her respond in email to you.They are admissible in court. Be careful though bitterness in divorce only hurts the kids. make sure you state that on emails, how you want to work with her for the sake of the children. If she continues to make it hard go to an attorney with the copies of the emails. file for an adjustment of custody
2007-11-13 02:27:12 · answer #6 · answered by cindyokie1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your ex, that it is very important to let go of non-issues like the time you pick up the kids and concentrate on things that will build and enchance a harmonious environment for your children despite the fact that you are no longer together. Tell her in a calm voice and remember not to belittle her. Do not accuse her of being over bearing, rather start by speaking as if it is you who is in the wrong. Like; I was wondering if it is possible to find a better way of making the lives of our children better.......
2007-11-13 01:19:59 · answer #7 · answered by laol 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your tired of arguing, stick to the papers. One day you may be able to cooperate more, but obviously that day hasn't come yet. Unless you want to go to a court battle, in which you'll probably end up with the same you have now, stick to the papers.
2007-11-13 01:17:06 · answer #8 · answered by wendy a 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sure.
Don't beg for her approval. She loves to annoy you too much.
Just ignore her. Tell her you'll pick them up for your birthday but don't specify a time. Pick up the kids when it suits you. Not much she can do.
Do you pay alimony / child support?
Be late a couple of times. Not enough to break the law, just enough for her to call. Then transfer it when she is annoyed.
Then after a few months, suggest that you can both give in a little - oil the wheels of cooperation so to speak: Money won't be late and she won't be difficult over a few hours here or there.
2007-11-13 01:24:47 · answer #9 · answered by mgerben 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
just because you are the dad, doesn't mean that you don't have rights as well. It's a shame that a dad who wants to be involved with his kids, is getting the shaft from the mom. Don't let her get away with this crap, I'd threaten her that you will be contacting your lawyer about this and tell her that you may even go for full custody of the kids if she doesn't stop this behavior.
2007-11-13 01:16:46 · answer #10 · answered by Timeflo 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋