My husband has cheated on me five times during our marriage and left me twice. He has now left me again however it has been 4 weeks since he left and has visted me to get mail and bills during this time he keeps on about my apperance as I have lost 3st in weight over this he keeps on saying how good I look. He even texted me the other day and said he had made a mistake and wanted to talk but by the following day he had changed his mind again after I stupidly slept with him. I know I am being a door mat but how do I get over him after that long and move on. Even now my heart says one thing and my head says another while he keeps me dangling on with a bit of affection in case he makes his mind up and changes again. I feel so hurt to see this other woman driving my car while I am walking and I lie awake ever night thinking about them being together and about him sharing her life while I am alone. I just can not see any end to the hurt and humiliation I am feeling.
2007-11-13 01:08:27 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Normally, I don't condone violence...wait, never mind, yes I do! You need to get your stuff back and take some karate classes. Karate builds confidence and when, not if, WHEN, you go get your car back and they try to keep it from you, karate chop them.
No, no, bring the police and proof that you own the car. Don't be anybody's doormat! And don't ask anymore questions! Get off the computer and take control. That's 28 years (maybe more than 1/2 of your life) of crap this man put you through. It's time to take charge of your life and make the rest if it ALL ABOUT YOU.
2007-11-13 01:21:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anakin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to think with your head when your heart is telling you something else - but - deep down inside do you really love this man who:
1. Cheated on you five times
2. Left twice; without a second thought
3. Is using you for his own self-gratification
4. Is unable to be loyal
How to get over him - first have as little contact with him as possible; if he calls, don't even answer the phone. He made his choices in life and now it is your turn to chose to take hold of your own destiny. Secondly, what is it that you are really feeling for him? Perhaps it is your own low self-esteem being put through all of this during your marriage and you are feeling as if he is the only man who could care for you.
You must cry, get out all the feelings and anger - then you can start healing from the years of abuse. You know you don't wish to settle for a man such as he, so why do it. You are better off without any man than having to deal with someone with his huge character flaws. Start taking care of yourself; doing the things you love to do in life. Look at this as an opportunity, not a failure. You have been given your life back; a life that you can now make what you wish it to be. No more wondering who he is with; no more pain and heartache; let that new gal have him; she'll see he is no catch.
Being alone is not a terrible thing; go out and join a group who likes to do something you are passionate about in life; you'll meet new people; you'll start to have fun again...you will look back at this - his leaving - as the best gift he could have given you. You are stronger than you think.
2007-11-13 01:39:40 · answer #2 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will end and it will start with you filing for divorce and telling that lying cheating jerk to never talk to you again about getting back together. He doesn't want that... hes having his cake and eating it too... That burns me up that she is driving your car and you are walking... YOU must take control of your life. HE has no part in it, hes told you that by leaving you and humiliating you Sweetie this is no longer about him. Its about YOU after 28 years don't you think its about time. YOU are entitled to half of everything including the car. im sure he has one as well... so you should have yours back. Treat yourself to the best thing you could have now and that's a good divorce attorney you'll be surprised what they tell you and how much better you'll feel once you know the truth. GO DO IT NOW!!!!!
2007-11-13 01:29:59 · answer #3 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If youve been married for 28 years this makes you a middle aged woman, and being that I myself am 40, I find it really amazing that being that your older then me that you and your hubbys actions are that of a 20 year olds? I dont know many men that cheat this late in their lives nor texting each other? Wow are you for real? Because I had my doughts. And this bit about my heart says one thing but my head says another? This just doesnt sound like the personality of a woman whos been married for 28 years, so your either a fraud, or a woman who needs to grow up, actually either way you have issues. Another red flag here is the fact that your claiming this other womans driving your car! Come on, if you have been married 28 years, thiers no way another woman would be driving your car, cause you,d be seeking half of everything that man has! A average middle aged seasoned vet who is smart, takes half of every god damn thing we can get out of our soon to be ex-husbands! Your supposed to be a scorned woman, now act like one! go hire a attorney, and take everything this man has and then some! Thats the attitude you would have if you were a middle aged woman, so like I said either your not for real, or you have been living in a cave for 28 years and you need some female adult guidance, like from me, if I were your friend Id show you the ropes on not how to get even, but how to get it all! I,ve done it in two divorces, if men want to screw around, then thats it, its over, but protect yourself, take this man to the cleaners, in the end you will never be friends or husband and wife again, so protect yourself and your assets, take everything! Now hire a attorney today! If you really are a middle aged woman whos been married 28 years you would!
2007-11-13 01:29:39 · answer #4 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The people who have written mean things to you should burn in h*ll. You are hurting and what is it with people who want to add to your pain? Anyway, it is time to cut the rope on this man. You most desperately need new friends. Can you move? Can you move 2000 miles away? You honestly need some distance and a new lease on life. I know your pain, I am feeling it right now as I write this because I'm going through something similar, but you don't deserve this from him. He's a loser, and do you know what? He will do to her what he did to you. He will never, ever change. You have done nothing to deserve this. He is evil. Visit the post office, have his mail sent to him and everything else you receive, put it in the trash. Cut off contact. NO MORE CONTACT! He had his chance and has proven that he has no respect for you. Find someone new to sleep with, don't let him back in your door ever again and if he comes back, call the cops. Please get away from this jerk. You are too good of a woman to let anyone do this to you. Believe in yourself. Dump his sorry butt and enjoy a new and better life.
2007-11-13 01:21:47 · answer #5 · answered by Kyle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you think of this spouse feels? you already comprehend the way it feels on the grounds that your husband had an emotional affair 5 cases. Do the spectacular element, through fact it truly is the spectacular element to do. If he truly needs out, then you definitely would desire to tell him to make his very own selection if he needs to leave his spouse and a couple of babies, and you're able to desire to think of of your 3 toddlers and if it truly is the superb. what is going to take place you will have your toddlers 0.5 the time, he will have his 0.5 the time, and you're actually the mummy of 5. you will have his indignant spouse mad at you, and your ex husband injury, which he has achieved it 5 cases to you and you forgave him each and every time, and hung directly to the discomfort, and you will have a clean guy who had an affair (who kissed you whilst married) that would desire to do it returned. look at this reason after which choose for in the journey that your being moved by using 11 years and thoughts or your employing your good judgment. the two get some marriage counseling and firgure out in the journey that your 11 years is truly worth saving through fact it replaced into while your husband positioned you thru it 5 cases, or you somewhat think of mixing the two families is going to be greater beneficial for all those teenagers your going to must be a mom too.
2016-10-02 06:34:03 · answer #6 · answered by schlaack 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all nevermind what that Jerk wrote!!!!.. My heart goes out to you. My mother in law is in this EXACT situation with just under 28 years in. So it is extremely easy for all of us to say divorce. It is going to take you a long time so don't rush to get the divorce and move on, let time play its part so you can heal and make the moves you need to get on in your life because you do not need to be with him anymore that will solve the humiliation issue, the hurt will take care of itself in time. Just pray and get strong
2007-11-13 01:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you are going through this but he is a jerk and one day you will see that...you are just blinded by the pain right now, the best revenge is just to move on and be happy. It will happen one day in time, trust me and it will feel great to have moved on and be free.
good luck
2007-11-13 01:14:36 · answer #8 · answered by ~NIKKI~ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He cheated on you. This would be a valid reason for divorce. It does not sound like he is willing to change his ways or seek help for his sexual addiction. Give him whatever belongs to him and move on with your life.
2007-11-13 01:39:32 · answer #9 · answered by Purple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what I did, file for a divorce, I was married for 31 years, there's life after a divorce so I've been told.
2007-11-13 01:14:14 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋