I have fallen for this guy, opened up a great deal, he is in same situation but thankfully we live far apart so have only met once. Dont know how he feels but after 6 months of constant communication, how do i let this go?
2007-11-13 00:58:06 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all... do you want to be in your marriage? If so, then you shouldn't be having affairs, online or otherwise, so it's easy - delete the guy's email address, delete him from your MySpace or whatever, and then step away from the computer. Don't carry on online conversations with total strangers, let alone meet up with them. And definitely don't contact this guy, ever again. Well, maybe one message to tell him you can't talk to him, and that he won't be hearing from you again.
If there's more to this story - such as that you're in a horrible and unhappy marriage to begin with... well, you need to work on that first. Decide what you want, and what's going to happen. And if you eventually wind up single after trying (and failing) to save your marriage... well that's the time to be talking to strangers online and opening up to them.
I met my husband online, so I can imagine it would be hard to let go after communicating constantly for six months, but... you need to decide what you want. If what you want is for your marriage to work, you need to stop this, now.
2007-11-13 04:15:29 · answer #1 · answered by marmiteontoast 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch Tyler Perry's Why did I get married. There is an 80% to 20% rule. Your current husband can only offer you 80% of what you want. What you see in the other person is only 20% of what you need. When you go to the other side you will realize that the 20% is not enough to sustain a relationship.
If you don't want to be married then get a divorce. Online people suck b/c they always look like prince charming no matter if you talk to them 8 hours a day. It's just the excitement and newness. Good luck to you.
2007-11-13 01:11:45 · answer #2 · answered by :o) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well its simple end it now. Ive been there, done it and bought the t-shirt! It causes a lot of heartache and if your very lucky like me you will get a second chance. My circumstances were different and I know one thing I would never do it again. When I look back I can't believe that I was the same person. That may, to some seem like an excuse but there was an awful lot of stress and tension between me and my partner and no support coming from his side. I urge you now to nip it in the bud.
2007-11-13 11:19:57 · answer #3 · answered by cazzel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop emailing him. Change your email address and start looking at what is wrong with your own relationship.
Was in the same situation myself. After six months he completely p*ssed me off. He was sending me the gushiest, cheesiest love poems, saying he dreamt of me at night. I let myself in for it. Got too familiar and ended up being vulnerable and, am ashamed to admit, I led him on. But then I got a grip. LOL. Started working on my marriage and just stopped all contact with the guy. He got the message and eventually he gave up.
Take this as a lesson learned and be very careful in the future. You could get yourself into a sticky situation that isn't so easy to get out of.
Best of luck!
2007-11-13 01:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by Bitzer Maloney 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This shows that you are unhappy in your marriage. Im not here to judge you, here to help you.
It sounds to me, like you and your husband do not have good communication, something is lacking.
I think Marriage is wonderful, But I also believe in Divorce. If you truly love your husband, then just tell this man, that you want to work on your marriage...and cut all ties with him.
If you dont want your marriage, then get out, dont let your husband believe there is something there that is not there.
What good is an online affair really? Just someone to talk to and vent your problems to...try doing this with your husband, and see if that meets your needs.
I wish you the very best. Just be honest, with him, and most of all, be honest with yourself.
2007-11-14 13:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't keep blaming yourself for this thing!!!!! Its a past its gone. You have your beautiful happily married life to look at like Cinderella. So therefore Darling there should never again be a place for a third person. Good luck! and don't forget every step of life either good or bad, does teaches us something. So there should be no regrests. If your husband is understanding and not very high temper tell him. You don't want the online guy meeting up with your husband and creating misunderstanding. Take care of your self!!!!!!! Love u lots. Sweety pie!!!!!!!!
2007-11-13 01:18:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The grass is always greener on the other side - especially over the internet where your imagination fills a good bit of the blanks.
Call it off, stop fixating on a fantasy relationship, and focus on making better that which you already have. If you still want to toss it away, go ahead... but don't jump right back into the situation again. Whatever you do, do it for you... not for someone else (who's possibly lying.)
2007-11-13 01:05:29 · answer #7 · answered by atypical carl 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Simple answer is that it's not just as easy as that to let go. Obviously your marriage was missing something if you went elsewhere. Is your marriage worth saving? If you're in doubt, you need to have a serious talk to this online guy and see how he feels. Good luck x
2007-11-13 07:30:51 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please remember this is an ONLINE guy - you really have NO idea who he is. Anybody can sit on the computer and tell you a bunch of lies.
For whatever reasons, you and your husband are not in the best marriage if you've had to reach out to another person. This is emotional cheating at the very least. Please seek the assistance of a counselor, with your husband. Try to work those problems out, or at least deal with them. If it doesn't work out, your next step should be to take some time for yourself - figure out who you are.
Just be smart and play it safe. You owe yourself that much.
2007-11-13 01:03:03 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
you seemed like very confused. Do you know what do you want? Your marriage or this guy? Just be honest with yourself.
My ex did same thing as you. One side he felt sorry and guilty to me, he asked me give him a chance,another side he is in love with that woman. I divorced him simply because I don't appreciate his confusion. I understand him. But I lost the respect to him.
I hope you don't run to the situation like my ex. good luck
2007-11-13 13:19:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋