14 years old and possibly pregnant!! help!?!?!?

Question

how could i work, finish high school and spend time with the baby???
who can look after the baby when im at school/work?
the only person at home during the day is my boyfriends mum, my grandparents and my step grandparents
my boyfriend lives half an hour drive away and i would want the child to live with me and my grandparents are very old and can only just look after themselves. im not sure my step grandparents would help but i cant afford childcare... clothes and baby milk formula and bottles and sterilisers and prams and cots are going to use all money i have plus all the money i could get off my parents.
will i have to re-do a year of school due to having time off with the baby and getting behind with coursework??

by the way... i could never have an abortion... im against it for the usual reasons...
also i could never give my child away so dont suggest adoption to me
if i am pregnant i will be keeping it... for me there are no other options

Answer 1

Just as everyone else here has suggested, you need to take a test. Just go to a local pharmacy and purchase any pregnancy test..they cost about $10-20.

I respect the fact that you do not want to consider abortion or adoption. This is your child and you have the right to choose what is best for your child.

I had my son at 17 and I have to be honest with you, it was not easy. I cried a lot because I could not afford to get him all the things that I wanted to and because his father did not help very much. I was just like you. Abortion or adoption was not an option for me. And contrary to what a lot of people say, adoption is not this great alternative that always turns out wonderful! Many adopted children grow up and hate the fact that their birth mothers gave them up. They never felt loved....etc.

Ok. That being said, you have to have support - and lots of it. I had my mother, father, grandparents, sisters, guidance counselors at my school, friends, etc. You will need people to help you out because it will be nearly impossible to do it alone because you're so young. Talk to your counselors at school. They can help you get into a teen parent program so that you can continue your studies. Dropping out of school is not an option for you.

Also, contact your state programs for assistance. You will need medical insurance for yourself and your baby, help with food, diapers, clothing, etc.

Finally, you need a plan for your life if you are pregnant. You must choose a trade or get a college degree so that you will not need government assistance for the rest of your life. Choose a field such as nursing which there are a lot of jobs available, the pay is good, and the schooling is not that long. You have to think about that now.

Like I said, it's not easy being a teen mom, but its not impossible. My son is now 16. He attends private school, his gpa is 3.3, he's a star athlete and he is the love of my life. You can do it too but you need support and you have to have a plan and stick to it.

I know this is long but I hope it helps. btw, prayer helps too!

Answer 2

First of all RELAX!!! Then take a test to see if u are .
If u are then talk out some options with the father of the child. Maybe u both could come up with something. If u can't u might have to take up one of those options u said u wouldn't do .
This happened to me before, when I was 15 so I know what ur going through. Even though u said u won't do one of those options u might have to , it could be the best thing for u and the baby. Just think it over. Then if u still decide to have the baby u can go to a school with a daycare and get a job after school or something.

Answer 3

calm down.

first take a test, then you know for sure ( well nearly sure) weather you are or not.

then either tell your grandparents or whoever you are close to and go to the doctor, he/she should explain your options and take blood pressure etc. they should also do a pregnancy test to confirm the pregnancy.

you are obviously a intelligent girl to be thinking about school and things like that and you will just have to work as well as being pregnant. its not an illness its a part of life.



remember that a baby is not the end of the world and its not the end of your life or any of thing like that bollocks that people tell you, its a little life that will need all your attention and love and commitment.

remember to look after yourself and don't let anyone push you into any decision your not comfortable with.

i hope this answer helps.

i wish you all the luck in the world to you and your baby.



p.s. a really good website i found is www.babycenter.com

Answer 4

well i do think you are young babe, i am 20 and have really struggled. but some of my friends were 16 and managed quite well. the best thing to is prepare your self for both situations. because if you are it will be a shock but as we all know finding out your not when you thought you could be is very disapointing. and if you are then there are loads of ppl that will be able to give you advice. like your doctor for one. and its all confidentail. so no need to worry. as for school you should stay at school as long as you can, even when you are pregnant, then leave at the last minute, and yes after the baby is born you may go back to college to study gcse's.
i no how you feel in a way, as i am only 20 and my mum and dad live abroad. but my mother in law is a college techer and has been very good to me. ppl around you love you lots and will help in what ever they feel is right. but if this is so, break the news after 3 months and not a second before. as you feel so strong about keeping it, if you are, make sure things are safe and certain before you say any thing, as its the biggest news you could tell some one.
once you are past 12 weeks you are out of your danger zone as they say. and then you will know it will really happen.
i wish you al the best in which ever it is. xx

Answer 5

first you need to calm down. you need to take a test to find out if you are pregnant.

if you are indeed pregnant, their are options. if you truly want to to keep the child, then you will have to start looking into state help. i am not sure what the age limit is where you are.

another option is adoption. many couples out there that are unable to conceive would love to take care of your child.

just make sure you are pregnant first before freaking out.


eta: adoption is not a horrible thing. if you are unable to care for a child why put them through a life like that? its one thing if things are tight for a bit but a completely different thing if you have no way to care for a child. children are very expensive... my 4 month son eats 85 bucks in formula in 3 weeks. then you must factor in clothing and diapers...dont discount adoption.
please do not take that rudely, it is not ment to come across that way.

Answer 6

If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. Oh well...too late now. You better start figuring out what your going to do because you will have to deal all you mentioned plus a lot more.

Unfortunately, if you keep the baby, you are doomed to a life of living in a trailer (poor), working as a waitress at Denny's the rest of your life (no education), taking care of the baby all by yourself (you think a 14 year old boy is going to help?), living on welfare and food stamps (no time to get that job at Denny's).

For your sake and the sake of the baby PLEASE give the baby up for adoption. It will have a better life if you do this. If you love the baby and really care about it and want to truly do what's best for it PLEASE give it up for adoption.

Answer 7

Hopefully you and your boyfriend have the most understanding parents ever cause your going to need there support. Before you freak out though you need to take a test to find out if you are indeed pregnant.
As for school stay in school as long as you can while you are pregnant, then you can always do corespondents courses to finish school!!

You are so young and have so much more life to live before becoming a parent!! :(

Best of luck!!

Answer 8

I don't think you are in the states, right? There are many social programs for young or poor families in GB. Have your parents/grandparents help you apply for government assistance. You probably have health ins. through your government or your parents right? So that is taken care of.

If you do what is best for baby and breastfeed your expenses will be surprisingly low.

If you are insistent upon keeping the baby then you need to change you attitude immediately from "i can't" to "I will because I must for my child who will be the most important thing that will ever happen to me"

Answer 9

Well I'm glad you are asking yourself those questions because you are going to have to deal with alot more when the baby comes, I think you are way to young to have a baby to raise I would consider adoption, I ask myself those same question like chaildcare and etc. and I'm 24 years old (No kids) but possibly expecting.

Answer 10

Straight up? I would notify the authorities about the felonious sexual assault on your little sister. Your sister has a hard raod ahead of her with the choices she is making now. An intervention group therapy, FAMILY therapy, and inconveniencing her life with punishment is all that is going to get her to realize how serious it all is. Once her "boy friend" goes to jail that should wake her up too. And him. Good Luck. Intervention is hard, but necessary if you do not want the next positive test to be HIV positive.