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17 answers

You can't. And while you shouldn't really help them feed their addiction, you don't need to totally rub their nose in it or isolate them from you. You need to love them as much or more than ever to help them decide to come back to living well.

Remember that addiction is physical and someone else's addiction really isn't about you...as far as taking offense to it, or trying to stop it, or blaming yourself for it. Of course we are affected by the addictions of our loved ones.

One thing as the holidays approach, or just in your own life, is to take a sabbatical from drinking yourself...not a grand statement, not a soapbox, just a simple gesture to make yourself a safe place for that person. You would not believe how many alcoholics need something NEW to do besides drink, and how much pressure there is everywhere to drink. By having a buddy who is sober, and a network of social contacts of other sober people, you can all help an addict learn that having fun doesn't have to include alcohol.

Part of this would mean that you do not serve booze at your Christmas party, your dinner parties, your SuperBowl party....that you won't drink when you go out for dinner or for the evening. It means a whole different level of support for them once they have quit. You are there waiting for them with stuff to do, and you are sober. There is nothing for them to find in your house, and there is no comparing who's drinking what.

2007-11-13 00:20:42 · answer #1 · answered by musicimprovedme 7 · 0 0

Sorry this is impossible unless the person wants to stop. A lot depends on where in the cycle he/she has hit and what you see as an alcoholic, as it may only be heavy drinking. An alcoholic will have their whole life disrupted and and dependent upon drink as part of their life. Sleep patterns will be disrputed, social life nil and all revolving around the next drink, which is usually consumed alone. The advanced physical signs are yellowing of the skin and the whites of the eyes (to the point of being orange) and a nasty cirrhosis associated side effect known in the trade as 'coffee grains'. This is where the liver starts to decay and small black bits can be seen in the urine, which resemble the said coffee grains. Once you have established that you are dealing with an alcoholic and not just a good old fashioned boozer, the only thing you really can do is wait for the depression and the person to hit rock bottom and then give total encouragement for any recovery program that the person themselves wishes to follow. Very very hard. With total sincerity I wish you all the luck in the world.

2007-11-13 00:22:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

There is no way you can stop someone doing what they want to do. Think of a bad habit that people have been nagging you about and how difficult that is to change.

The person concerned needs to admit to themselves they have a problem and then seek help - but part of the reason they do not want to seek help is the "shame and guilt" they will feel in making such and admission to someone else. They fear "judgement" and "satisfaction of other people - ie I told you so"! Which is understandable. It is very difficult to take that first step and "admit your guilt" as it is particularly difficult to give up drinking, and may not be adviseable if someone has been drinking heavily for a long time - it can cause fits and hallucinations etcto come off it all in one go.

Fear of failure is another common reason why people do not want to give up. If they have done well for a while and have a falling off the wagon for whatever reason, they might feel as though they failed. It is normal to fall off sometimes, but the worst thing a friend or relative can do is nag and go on about it. Again, think of what it is like for you when people nag you. The poor person probably felt badly about him or herself in the first place and does not need more guilt heaped on him.

Instead, when they are ready, bite your tongue and encourage them and each day they have done well and try not to nag when they have not. It takes patience, but will be worth it in the long run.

2007-11-13 03:48:13 · answer #3 · answered by zakiit 7 · 0 0

You can't. They have to decide that they want help and want to stop drinking. All you can do is avoid placing them in a situation where you contribute to their drinking. Beyond that all the decisions are theirs.
You might contact AA and see if they have any helps, but being the friend of a recovering alcoholic, all the choices are up the the drunk, according to him, not you.

2007-11-13 00:05:03 · answer #4 · answered by NAnZI pELOZI's Forced Social 7 · 1 0

that's a tricky one. you may separate found out habit from actual addiction. From my own constrained expertise of alcoholism, it particularly is no longer an exact technology and you fairly need to think of roughly your choose vs your choose. i think of i will declare this approximately addiction: a million having to have a drink (or 2) so as to deal with a stressfull undertaking. you won't be in a position to deal with out one. 2. having a drink (or 2) daily faster or later in the day. Social or no longer, no longer an afternoon is going by ability of. 3. getting the subsequent drink (or 2) will become the concentration of your day, and actually will become the priority. this might advance to those people who artwork all week to binge drink on the weekend. 4. genetics - definite there's a predisposition to the ailment, in spite of the shown fact that it particularly is no longer the reason. 5. time-honored (or greater effective) classes (for the period of ingesting) are blacked out or fuzzy. 6. each week does not circulate by ability of which you have not got a drink (or 2) 7. being secretive or deceptive to others (or your self) approximately how lots you drink, while, or how frequently. i've got customary people who've been waiting to "end for a month" in simple terms to teach they might do it. it particularly is the no longer fixing the undertaking. My concept is that on account that human beings close to to you have commented on your behaviour, then they in all probability have reason to declare it, and you may pay attention. They understand you nicely, and that they understand what you're able to. in keeping with threat they're sorting out for you? you're a fortunate boy to have human beings step as much as the plate, and confront you (even gently). They did the nicely suited situation, on account which you at the instant are giving it some trustworthy concept. Yay for them!!

2016-12-08 20:28:48 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Deprive him/her of the opportunity to drink...

The best way is when he or she decides they WANT to stop.

Or.....

Never offer him/her alcohol
No access to alcohol (never leave it around or available)
No money to purchase alcohol
Never visit premises where alcohol is served or available

I wish you luck and I hope your relative takes the decision to stop, then you all have a chance.

2007-11-13 00:20:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

All you can do is support them and get help, if they don`t want to dry out then you can`t make them but as long as you`ve tried you will have nothing to be guilty about if any harm comes to them

2007-11-13 00:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by bud 6 · 0 0

The person that is drinking is going to have to want to stop, By hitting rock bottom, DUI, illness, They are the ones that will have to do it....

2007-11-13 00:04:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I guess they have to want to stop

Ask them what they want out of live, and then promise it to them if they stop drinking

Say they want a good looking partner, tell them youl help them if they give up the drink etc

2007-11-13 00:08:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

They need to realise for them self but you could help by talking to them and giving them info about what they are doing to them self, you could also recommend alcoholics anonymous.

2007-11-13 00:03:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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