Should I ask my girlfriend this?

Question

Should I ask my girlfriend if it is okay to see other people? Or should I just do it without telling other people? The reason why I ask is because I feel she is doing the same and if she is going to do it..I want to do it too..but I still want to see her. I love her and I don't want to feel I am wasting my time with her if she is doing that. We have been together for 6 months now and we are in our late 20s. I don't want to confront her about my suspicions because she will think I don't trust her.

Answer 1

what? so shes cheating on you and your ok with that as long as you can do the same? thats not a relationship thats a joke. your best off dumping her cos if you both start seeing other people then your obv not meant to be together.

Answer 2

I think broaching the subject in the spirit of you thinking she's already doing that (dating others) would be a mistake. You said you love her, but you also said that you want to date other people too if she's doing that already. You also hinted that you've considered going behind her back if there was a risk that she'd leave you if she found out. That's called cheating, my friend, even if there isn't any sex involved. This whole situation has the potential to blow up big time in your face and I think you need to take a step back and rethink your position and your feelings.

First, do you REALLY love her, or do you just like her a lot? Are you at the stage where you think you might want to settle down, or is that a far distant possibility? Do you have any valid reasons for thinking she's dating others or is it just some insecurities you may have because you have found yourself falling for her more than you thought you would? Do you or she ever say "I love you" to the other? How often do you see each other during a typical week?

Answer these questions, and if after all of this you KNOW in your heart that you love her, then you have only one choice and that is to sit down and talk to her about your feelings and hers. I know. That isn't usually a guy thing to do, but I think you will handle it ok. But you do need to find out how she feels and ask her if she considers the two of you to be an exclusive couple or if she would rather date others while still dating you. I know this is a risk, but it is going to have to be what happens. You can't go on not knowing because I can tell it's driving you crazy and as you said, you don't want to waste your time with someone who isn't as into you as you are into her. If you are careful and phrase it right, you should be able to get to the heart of her true feelings without the risk of making her angry. I would suggest that you start off letting her know that YOU would like to only be with her, but that you DO not want to put any pressure on her to do the same if it's not what she wants too. That way she doesn't think she has to give you your freedom even if it's not what she wants and she will get the point that you've been true to her so far, but are willing to work around her preferences regardless of your own, and that you care about her that much. Just work out how to say things before you have this talk because if you word it wrong, it might not go well.

Anyway, if you find that you don't feel that strongly about her, then put the rest of your relationship in perspective and see what her feelings are. Get it over with so you can stop wondering "What if". I mean that in a nice way. What I suggest you DON"T do is date other people behind her back. That's a bad situation waiting to happen. Honesty is usually the best policy and you definitely can't expect her to be true to you if you're not going to do the same, especially in your heart.

Anyway, I hope something here has helped. Good luck, friend, and take care.

Answer 3

A relationship is normally an open one when it comes to conversations. I would just ask her if she has a desire to see other people or date only you. Honesty is the best way to have a relationship with anyone. If you feel the need to date others then tell her straight out. It seems like you are not sure you have sowed your oats? Don't ask her is a threatening way or a suspicious way. Just ask her what she wants in your relationship. She will tell you!

Answer 4

,If they are just suspicions, I would not do anything stupid unless you don't care about her. If you know for a fact, confront her, and ask her how she would feel if you did the same to her. Tell her that you are tired of sitting around waiting while she runs around cheating on you.

Answer 5

Well, you DON'T trust her, so why do you have a problem asking her about it? Don't play games. Do you only want to "see" (translate as sleep with) other girls because you think she's sleeping with other guys, or is it because you just want to see other girls? Clear that up first with yourself and then talk to her about it, and if she denies being with other men, trust her until she does something to break the trust.

Answer 6

Sorry, but you need to talk to her about it.

How on earth can you have a healthy relationship if you can't even be honest with one another?

It is fine if both of you mutually agree about seeing other people, but you need to have an honest and clear dialogue about it.

Answer 7

People like you exist?
She is seeing somebody. you want to see somebody else but talking about TRUST!

Infidelity and trust don't go hand in hand.

Answer 8

just talk to her, ask her about it. but not like "Hey are you seeing other people? because i want to if you are" just ask if shes happy with where your at in your relationship. DONT just start seeing other people!

Answer 9

confrontation is d best ....
if she loves u then she will understand u ....n wont question ur trust ..

Answer 10

what you dont think your girlfriend will see this question.....boy are you in trouble....