The Price
In the morning i feel like vanishing
with all the fragments of my undoing
it scares me to feel the price..
the price i will be paying..
as moments of disarray
come into play...
I pull the sheets to cover my eyes
wishing they were all just lies...
last night i prayed for an eternal slumber
but all i am now is just a little half sober
with all the fragments of my undoing
it scares me to feel the price i am paying..
2007-11-12 20:51:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
i never realized how fitting the title was until i posted it wow!
...the price...
The Price is 5pts! ugh!
=P
2007-11-12 20:53:14 · update #1
lolz at autumnlove
you are a genius! =P
2007-11-13 09:26:28 · update #2
@Elaine
Woah! couplets! what are those? never heard those words before...wow......thanks!
*blushes
2007-11-13 09:28:11 · update #3
@Aimee
yes...yes...okay...now calm yourself
lolz =P
thanks
*hugs
2007-11-13 09:30:17 · update #4
I like the "falling rhyme" in the last couplet and in the last two lines of the first verse. I also like the idea of ending the poem with a couplet. This is a very old poetic device that has always been strong and sophisticated. The couplet does several things: it draws attention to the theme of the poem and sort of sums up what the poem is about. I also like the internal rhyme of the poem in general. (I hope you're not really praying for an eternal slumber).
2007-11-12 22:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"with all the fragments of my undoing
it scares me to feel the price i am paying.."
Wow, this says so much! And in regards to anything in life!
This is really good!
Thanks for sharing
2007-11-13 08:42:46 · answer #2 · answered by Poetry 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear one, if it scares you to feel the price, you may change. You are the only thinker in your mind, and the only actor in your life. Be brave. Try a little authenticity. You may find it refreshing. Regrets are for those lacking self mastery. It is not magic. It takes intention.
2007-11-13 05:47:02 · answer #3 · answered by Lyra 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes you paid the price, go ahead drink a little more so you can finish this score. We await the price of you even more.
2007-11-13 07:07:15 · answer #4 · answered by deneansmith@att.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"When it is dark enough you'll see the stars"
"
I am still a child
Thrilled by a surprise
Touched by a bird song
delighted by a clown
Frightened by hatred
Hurt by rejection
Saddened by pain
Warmed by love."
(Leanord Nemoy)
"Booze is cunning, baffling, powerful, bound to destroy."
2007-11-13 13:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by jenny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah, the "joys" of the hangover.
You are absolutely right about the price. Lost weekends were aplenty in my youth!
nice poem !!
2007-11-13 12:42:22 · answer #6 · answered by autumlovr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unusual but talanted. Great poem and lovely prose.
2007-11-13 04:58:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Full of Metaphor and Imageries!
Something along the lines of forebooding!
Yet, I like what I read!!!
2007-11-13 11:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by Freeman ®™© Resurrected 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i love this poem, not confusing at all, to the point but with elegantly orchestrated words. i wish i was on your level lol.
2007-11-13 04:56:04 · answer #9 · answered by Luis T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
.....I..I can't even describe how much I love this poem, I love the Imagery it presents to me and I love the rhyming and I love that whole thing you did at the start and end.......I absolutly one hundred percent completely love it.....I love it!!!! I love it i love it i love it!!
2007-11-13 17:08:24 · answer #10 · answered by aj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋