My boyfriend has been down lately and i am the problem, I know. We love each other and i feel like i should comfort him, not be angry at him. But how? How does he want me to act with him? Leave him alone, tell him it will be okay.......?
2007-11-12 18:41:22 · 9 answers · asked by OverTheRainbow 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it helps, he is 21 and i am 18.
2007-11-12 18:43:36 · update #1
just...stay in his arms for as long as u can..and tell him...im sorry...lets just drop it,plz?
2007-11-12 18:51:07 · answer #1 · answered by S.I.C.K. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you the problem? How are you the problem? Generally, if you realize he's down, and you are the problem.. look at what you do that makes him feel this way, and stop doing it. I'm confused. Just tell him you are there for him whenever, to be a friend, to listen to him. Don't try to tell him everything is okay and fine, because he doesn't feel like it is, and it won't help him. Just be there for him, for whatever he needs. Be available. Listen to him, don't try to talk at him or pry things out of him. He'll talk when he's ready, he'll explain when he's ready. He'll communicate his needs to you when he sorts them out. In the meantime, if you know you are causing some of it.... give him space, and work on yourself a little bit.
2007-11-13 02:48:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if I were in your situation I would approach him, apologzie for your actions and let him know that you are there for him when he's ready to talk. Until then, give him some time to think. He will either accept the apology and move forward or he will continue to sulk and possibly try to manipulate you by making you feel bad.
Just give him space. If he truel cares, he'll come back around. But be sure to talk about why he's down to begin with and resolve it. Dont act like nothing happened just to keep peace. If he's down very long, consider he may have depression and for that, he will need professional help including medication. But let him know you are there for him ok.
2007-11-13 02:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by Christy W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever the exact cause of sadness is, most guys long for their girlfriend even more when they are depressed. If you leave him alone, most likely it'll turn even worse.
Here's some tips:
-Remind him how you love him often, show that you care for him (offer up some activities you did together often), and that you're worried for his mood.
-Act like you usually do, don't let yourself become too mad or sad because of his mood. Though understand him if possible.
-Remind him some special, and/or funny memories you lived though together.
-Most importantly, if it's a problem that needs talk (like not a clear one), talk about it, maybe you'll find even some kind of solution, four eyes see more then two.
Hope this helps a bit, good luck ;-)
2007-11-13 03:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww Criss
it's difficult without knowing what sort of guy your bf is.
Some guys want to retreat into their own shell or safe place - to have their own space.
Other guys would want you to be there, particularly be there to work things out.
You can only really judge by what he says and does. Ask him and let him know you love him, you want to comfort him and make the world good for him.
But also let him know that you are happy to give him space and to respect him ... but to be there when he is ready to interact again.
See what he wants.
Tell him that you want it to be okay and that you want to make it okay.
Oh - and if he shuts you out ... stay shut out, but leave a message ... he can call you when he's ready. Give it some time.
2007-11-13 02:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know you are the problem? Is it his REACTION thats making him miserable? You can't control his reactions!
What have you done wrong??? If you've done nothing wrong and he just likes blaming you and making you feel bad and self conscious you'll probably feel its your fault if he catches a cold!!! lol
If he's in a bad mood he can't blame YOU for HIS mood!!!....especially if him being in a bad mood puts you in one!!!
I used to go out with a moody guy - I'd be in a perfectly happy mood - then he's come over in a bad mood - and end up putting ME in a bad mood AND ITS NOT FAIR - AND YES - I DID TELL HIM I'D RATHER HE HADN'T COME ROUND AND PUT ME IN A BAD MOOD!!!
If you are not enjoying the relationship , each others company and if he doesn't appreciate being with you...well........
2007-11-13 02:48:22 · answer #6 · answered by chandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rewind the tape a bit. see the bigger picture. what's missing is communication. real communication. if you're in here asking, then both of you haven't really talked deeply enough where you can tell each other anything.
imagine if he tells you what's really bothering him. then you listen, intently. let him talk tell it goes flat - that means he got it all out and on the table. imagine if he knew that you really listened and heard every word that he spoke. now he is able to fully listen to you - return the favor.
now...
imagine if you tell him what's really bothering you. then he listens, intently. he lets you talk tell it goes flat - that means you got it all out and on the table. imagine if you knew that he really listened and heard every word that you spoke. now you are able to fully listen to him - return the favor.
cool. it's not a comfort him thing, be angry with him thing, how does he want me to act thing.
it's a 'let's really talk, and listen to one another' thing.
get to a place in life where you two can really talk and listen, and then love can grow.
love loves openess.
be open, especially with our ears. you might be surprised at what he is really trying to say to you.
three little words.
2007-11-13 02:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by Sun Tzu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone. He will start to miss you. When he opens up open up. when he shuts down leave him alone. He will eventually respect you for that. Send him sweet notes of encouragement and let him know u will always be there for him
2007-11-13 02:51:05 · answer #8 · answered by Praisechild 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give him big hugs and remind him that you're his girl and that you could tell him anything, and discuss the problem, that should solve ur lil problem
2007-11-13 02:45:19 · answer #9 · answered by mc_muffin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋