Well i have an ex that i love very much and i really do care about him, but he makes it seem like i don't care about him. He cuts himself and everrything. When he gets mad at me i ask why, all he say is cuz there's stupid and he never finishes.... I dont know what to do.. i reall dont want him to die thats my one and only love and i'd go crazy if i lost him weither we are together or not.
2007-11-12 18:09:39 · 12 answers · asked by Chewy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
But remember HE IS MY EX-BOYFRIEND
2007-11-12 18:26:07 · update #1
pray that he doesn't become homicidal
2007-11-12 18:12:49 · answer #1 · answered by Calista 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ending a relationship is not always easy. In most cases you get awkward or cold to eachother and eventually both wishes never to cross each other’s paths again.
You are unlucky and have to deal with a mean & manipulative exboyfriend...
The mean manipulative ex can only be if you are willing to be manipulated because as they say there is no oppressor if there is no one to oppress. Your mean & manipulative exboyfriend enjoys a relationship where even if you both have agreed to separate you may still act out at times as if you're together and therefor making it difficult for you both to move on. You are in the process of 'letting go' but your ex will find a way to keep coming back in your life, thoughts and vision.
Your mean & manipulative exboyfriend is the one who uses guilt or threat. Even after a break up there is still that tiny bit of care and he magnifies the hurt he feels is caused by you, so then he is less hurt and you should (presumably) feel very guilty for putting him trough this. If your ex feels that the guilt trip is not sinking in clear or fast enough, then he can force the issue and use threat instead. There are in fact many horrifying stories of mean manipulative exes who use suicide bids as a threat.
There might be other types of ex partners, but now let us see how your ex can be stopped... The best thing to do is to cut all ties at least for the time being that way the he cannot bother you in any way. If that is not possible then have a group of friends as support so that you can avoid him getting in contact - hide if you must for a while-dissappear. Use these friends as your shield or excuse every time the ex comes coming back in different ways.
Make sure though that these friends know what you are going through and they should be willing to help to. You are the victim here and be strong in your resolve not to yourself to be manipulated by him and his actions
2007-11-18 17:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by Jungleboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
support. take him to doctor. it's not ok to blackmail that way. He needs a BiiiiiG change now. His thoughts are toxic, the drugs or alcohol are making him cycle in revelling in self pity. getting bak together wont solve it but don't abandon him unless he's sorted in his new life. Don't feel bad if u'v at least tried to change his toxic ways... talking wont help, u'v said all u need to say so just keep listening if u can, but pick him up take him away from his freedom of doing foolish stuff. tell him things like "we are less likely hang out together if he keeps it up" . whatever u do make sure u keep level headed never argue with him also don't pity just help. look after yourself 2 but remember he deserves the effort. be patient
2007-11-12 18:25:37 · answer #3 · answered by Joch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get him help from a suicide prevention hotline, and just be there to listen when he needs it. Tell him no matter how bad things are, they will always get better. And take care of yourself. If you get wrapped up in thinking that it's completely your responsibility to keep him alive (when it's really his choice to continue getting help), you'll get very depressed. Do the best you can, but also realize it's impossible to keep him happy for the rest of your life.
2007-11-12 18:17:19 · answer #4 · answered by Tres Leches 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not for you. Move on.
He'll keep using the suicide card as a guilt play on your emotions any time he needs to figure something out... or if he gets stressed. You'll be dealing with enough emotion for 2 (or more) people!
If you REALLY want him - and if you realize that in order to make a relationship work HE WILL NEED TO PULL HIS WEIGHT - then you can put it to him:
"I really love you, honey
...
But your cutting and self harming behaviour is really getting to me. We can't go on like this.
...
Would you come with me and get some counselling? Work on it with me?"
If he'll work on it, your relationship MIGHT stand a chance. Without it, you need to pull out now or else you'll be the next one seeing a shrink!
2007-11-12 18:12:38 · answer #5 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
get someone involved.
tell his parents/someone in authority in his life that he cares about (im assuming hes fairly young) ... you might worry that he'll hate you, but if he REALLY is "suicidal" (which most people that say they are... are not, try not to worry) then it will benefit him more than anything else... and if he does hate you... who cares? hes alive, and if you really love him, thats what your ultimate goal is.. right?
on a side note, if he's cutting himself... he's probably not going to kill himself, he would have already. cutters have all kinds of other reasons for doing that (not like i would know, ive never done it.... ask a cutter, they'll give you plenty of reasons im sure)
2007-11-12 18:15:12 · answer #6 · answered by jennagoodness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems you are in deep relationship. So what you can do is that you should take him to treatment. Maybe the person in authority can help him. The hope is promising. Because some blogs on Agelessonly dcom disclosed the similar situation. God bless!!!
2007-11-12 18:25:18 · answer #7 · answered by likerisk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you spoken to his parents? The guy needs professional help. Actually, you should call the suicide hotline and get advise from them. By the way, what he is doing to you is called "emotional blackmail". Best thing you can do it call the number I told you and tell them what's going on.
2007-11-12 18:14:06 · answer #8 · answered by Gottaloveher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to stay away from hem if he does not appreciate hes own life do you that he is going to appreciate yours?
If you really love hem talk to hem and ask hem to change and if he does not move on he is not for you. Good luck
2007-11-12 18:18:37 · answer #9 · answered by Dan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not good... not going to work out...
i had a friend once her bf jump out of a moving car which she was driving but he's fine....
but alwayz threatning my friend of hurting and suiciding himself...
how is he going to take care of my friend, if he himself doesnt know how to take care of his own life...
they broke eventually... thank god
now my friends is happily married with someone else with a cute baby boy...
2007-11-12 18:21:15 · answer #10 · answered by kachu_ina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
@deena.. wahahha!! now thats funny...
well... girl.... if he truly loves you... he'd do anything to change for you... if not... i think hes not that mature enough to know how precious you are for him... maybe you should show him how you really care for him.. if he still can't see that.. theres something wrong about him.. either his stupid.. or just playing stupid... no offense...
2007-11-12 18:15:23 · answer #11 · answered by condo_m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋