My boyfriend & I are pretty stable but for some reason deep down we both know we don't feel truly happy with each other. I just don't feel that chemistry/click with him. It's sad to say but i checked his email the other day and it said he bought a trial to a to a porn site and when i found out it hurt my feelings. I dont know i guess i'm insecure when it comes to other women. So knowing he was doing that made me upset & hurt at the same time. SO i confronted him about it because he knows how i felt about that stuff and he denied it at first till i said the trial then he knew he got caught and then said why am i prying around and snooping i honestly think he said that because he knew he got caught. now were on a break because i guess hes still mad about everything i dont know if its still worth it to wait around but right now i'm okay just hurt. i don't know what to do. i honestly don't think we will make it to the future. its just i still love him. what should i do? contact him? wait?
2007-11-12 17:47:59 · 14 answers · asked by Precious OnE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's really hard, but I'd advise against contacting him. He has to decide if he wants you in his life, and if you call him, he won't get a chance to feel what it's like without you. I have dragged out relationships before and it causes unhappiness and wastes time. I wish you happiness in finding someone to love.
2007-11-12 17:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by rcpeabody1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have actually been in situtation quite similar to this. I felt the same way with the porn thing it was just kinda like, "am I not enough for you?" and it does hurt. But I don't think it means anything he could just be curious. Most guys I know have watched or watch porn at some point. Even if your on a break I would still talk it through with him. Thats what I did. If you both love each other it will work out fine. If he wants to stay on the break and "not deal with it" (typical guys) I probably wouldn't bother waiting. Just talk it out and go from there... guys are confusing ugh lol. Hope this helps :) Good Luck!
2007-11-12 17:57:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you guys really don't have what it takes. No "click" there between you really.
At least know that even if you DID click, guys are going to check out porn anyway, it's normal.
You really didn't have the right to snoop in his email though, that was wrong.
I think you could find someone much more suited for you than he is, check the chemistry next time before you get too committed and make sure it's there, or it will never work.
Good luck!
2007-11-12 17:51:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you have a right to be upset about the porn I wonder why your snooping. I would leave you regardless because he may look at pictures but you are completely untrustworthy.
What if you would have found a list of ideas for the most romantic get a way you ever been on as a surprise for you?
You would love him more and you would still be a nosey little untrustworthy snoop.
2007-11-12 17:53:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Precious One...if the guy is looking at porn...it means that it will make it difficult to get intimate with you. This is possibly why you didnt feel that connection. Clearly, he's not happy....but that's not just because of the relationship...but because he has a problem with porn. You have every reason to have felt/feel upset and hurt....and it's probably for the best that you guys split, because he should be alone to deal with his problems....you are not responsible for him and his issues. Somehow, I don't think he's the right guy for you at this moment in time. Give yourself sometime to heal from this pain and find someone who is free of issues that will prevent intimacy. I hope this helps you...D :)
2007-11-12 18:05:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found my boy's porn collection just recently too. It really hurt me and when i confronted him about it, he also reacted badly.
I found that if you like each other enough, you wouldn't let a situation like this break you up.
I suggest that you try and stop calling or seeing him for a whole week or two, if you find it too hard to be without him then you MUST have strong feelings for him, still. If you find that you are kinda over him, then it'll be easier at this stage to let go.
2007-11-12 17:58:24 · answer #6 · answered by Megzy N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you with him?
You don't trust him or you wouldn't be snooping. Obviously you don't communicate with each other or he wouldn't have felt the need to hide it from you.
Porn is not cheating. Don't use your sexual/emotional problems to blame him. There's nothing wrong with porn.
There's no such thing as a break, you are broken up and he is now free to do whatever he wants with whomever he wants. You are either with each other or not...there is no hanging in between.
2007-11-12 17:52:27 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get over it!! guys look at porn. no matter how hot you are or how much we love you . men and male animals in general need variety to stay virile. it is our animal nature. guys look at internet porn to curb that desire he wasn'tt out cheating on someone .
why are you bent out of shape over him looking at other women doing things he finds so degrading he wont ask you to do them so he settles his curiosity by watching a woman he does not care about do it!
you were 'prying and snooping' what were you doing checking the history on his computer or looking through his emails! he has a right to be pissed off!? you gotta trust people more in the future cause this puppy is dead!! move on
2007-11-12 17:51:29 · answer #8 · answered by froggy_logic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have a break
Ask yourself - "is this really the guy for me?"
No chemistry / click
He's feeling it too cos he's checking the porn.
I think it's not looking so good!
Give him time to change and show you that you are the goddess of his world. If he doesn't, move on.
2007-11-12 17:50:47 · answer #9 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let him do what he wants.Do not wait ,do not expect ,do not either contact him.Be confident.MAke yourself busy doing something that will make you happy.We are living,loving to enjoy life.If we are being fooled,abused by anyone,it is simply because we are letting them to do so to us.What is the worth of love if it is just one sided..?How about proving to a guy that we are worthy to be loved by a worthy guy?
2007-11-12 17:58:50 · answer #10 · answered by Lucy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋