What rules do would you have if your son/daugther still lived in your house when they are 18 and older?

Question

If you had a daugther or son, from age 18-26, what rules would there stll be for them?

And also, would the rules change if they helped with rent and bought their own food?

Please be specific.

Would you consider the following innapproprie for a 24 year old son living with his mom but helping with rent and buying his own food?

-allowed to go anywhere he wants and no curfew.

-can hav sex with his girlfriend anytime his mom is not home, and they can with no noise whle she is home

Answer 1

Many adult children remain at home longer now...some for college, some cannot afford to be on their own yet...my son wanted to be able to buy and not rent, so he worked and saved for a downpayment and moved 2 yrs ago. No rules after age 18 as long as they have respect for you, your home, and help by doing some chores. At that age they are responsible enough to make decisions about what they do

Answer 2

Well I'm going on 21 and still live at home and I still have the same rules that I had when I was younger. Pretty much I empty the trash cans, help wash the dishes, and do the laundry. I have to be in the bed before 6 a.m. and off the computer. But that is nothing all that new either. But I have always respected my family and never done anything that would jeopardize that respect. So far the rent and buying my own food is not really an issue. I mean my mom still sees me as her child, to which she should and she is willing to make family dinners and stuff like that, so that I don't have to buy my own food. And as I don't have a job just yet as I'm still going to college, paying rent is out of the question.

Now when I have my own kids I would do the same for them, but just the exception would be is if they are like 22+ or so staying at home they have to get a job and contribute to the family, by getting a job or getting into college. I don't like the whole bum philisophy. Because I feel if I went through college and helped out around the house my kids should learn that same respect as well. And there would indeed be no sex with anyone in my home no matter what age they are. I mean that is disrespectful to me and my home that I worked for. If they are adult enough to make that decision and put others at risk they should do it on their own property. Same with drugs and other things they choose to "experiment" with. Kids need to have more respect for themselves and their elders. Best to establish this early on.

Answer 3

I think if your kids are over 18 and living at home they should pay rent do their own laundry and pitch in for gorceries. since they are paying rent though youi cant put very many rules on them becasue you are their landlord now. How ever i dont think children should be alowed to ahve sex under their parents roof no matter how old they are becasue i think that is disrespectful and I dont think their boyfirends/girlfirends shoudl be allowed to live there with them. If they want to live with someone they should ahve to get their own place. As for curfews I woudl say they shoudlnt have one but be told that the doors get locked at 2 and if they arnt home by then they had better have another place to sleep i think all of thesethigns can help then gain responsibility while allowing them to enjoy the perks of livivng at home ei mom cooking for them and not having to pa y alot of rent jsut enough for them to repect the property

Answer 4

What you describe is "failure to launch".
I've run into several of these.
The adult children are afraid they will fail, so they never try to branch out.
The parents really need to take steps to get the kids out of there and fully supporting themselves after they have graduated from college and have been in their first job for over a year.
I've seen the parents resort to all sorts of odd harassment (like rules geared for young teenagers) to get the kids so fed up that they leave. I've seen the parents put the deposit down on a small apartment for the kid and then sell their house to remove the "escape route" back.
It really is doing them a great kindness because nobody will marry them if they cannot support and look after themselves.

Answer 5

You can have whatever rules you want. Just because they are adults doesn't mean they can live however they want in your home. For example: if they took drugs and got caught with them the police could search where ever they lived. Meaning your home. And if they were selling drugs.... even though they were paying you rent you could still lose your home.
The kids still have to respect you and your rules. Besides......even if they were paying rent it still isn't as much as they would be paying if they were on their own.

If you don't want their BF or GF to spend the night...they shouldn't. If your kids don't like it they can move out and rent their own place.

Answer 6

they pay their share of rent and food and this isnt negotiable
they respect your privacy as you resect theirs.

they do their share of the housework
other costs to household must be contributed to without a fight
even if you can afford to carry them you are not helping them if you do.

Answer 7

Indians and many others have joint family system and every one share in the family.What's the problem?