What rules do would you have if your son/daugther still lived in your house when they are 18 and older?

Question

If you had a daugther or son, from age 18-26, what rules would there stll be for them?

And also, would the rules change if they helped with rent and bought their own food?

Please be specific.

Would you consider the following innapproprie for a 24 year old son living with his mom but helping with rent and buying his own food?

-allowed to go anywhere he wants and no curfew.

-can hav sex with his girlfriend anytime his mom is not home, and they can with no noise whle she is home

Answer 1

21 or older are legal adults. they should be given trust and freedom to come and go as they please. if you wanted to have a rule of no bf's or gf's staying over, that is appropriate. as for bill chipping in, maybe have him/her pay 1 utility. they need to save the rest of there money to get there own place and to enjoy life.

Answer 2

No matter what age a person is..if they are living in there parents house then that parent has a right to tell them what to do, no matter what it is.

Yes, that parent of the 18 still living at home has right to tell them what time to come home, what they need to do around the house, if they need to be saving money, to move out with, if they can have people over..

NO.. the rules would or should NOT change if the 18 year old paid rent or bought there own food..

It is still the parents house..Renting from a stranger would be different.

That is just the way it is..

Answer 3

There is a lot of growth that (should) happen between 18 and 26. If my child had just turned 18, just graduated from highschool, I'd still have them live under most of the rules I did during highschool. However, I would make them pull their weight around the house. If they were going to college and working. If they were just a lazy bumb, I'd probably kick them out.
26 is quite a bit older, I think they should be able to be out on their own by now.
What I'm trying to say, is right when my child turns 18 and is out of high school I wouldn't immediately throw them out and expect them to survive. I would help them transition into being an independent adult so by the time they were 26, they would be out of the house.

Answer 4

I am 30, but I when I stayed with my mom (between apartments) after I graduated from highschool, her only rule was that I had to be back in the house at a decent hour ... not 2 or 3 in the morning. If I were to stay out that late I'd spend the night at a friend's house. Sometimes she really didn't enforce that rule. Also, obviously, I couldn't lay up with any men or anything at her house. I chipped in on the bills and pretty much ate out all the time, but still chipped in on the food.

Answer 5

I wish I could help, but we are 3 in that age group living in my house. My mom is pretty lenient with a lot things, but we are the ones who cook, wash clothes, clean our own rooms, pay a cleaning service once a week, so my mom pretty much does not do much. We help with bills and housework, we all also work in our family business and all three go to school full time and pay for it. So it is not like my mom has to put a lot of rules for us to follow. My brothers are 18 and 21 and I am 25 with a baby on the way. But we are responsible and quite helpful so I wish I could help. It all depends on your kids. There still has to be rules and respect of your home cause at the end of the day it is your home. And as long as she or he is keeping up with responsibilities then you adapt the rules to that child. Good Luck though!

Answer 6

My daughter will be 18 soon and we have discussed how things should be.
She is planning on being a full time college student with a part time job. She will need to handle her own car insurance and gas, take care of her personal chores such as laundry and her room, and also contribute her time and effort to the regular household chores.
If she is here during mealtime, she is expected to eat with the family.
She will not have her partner spend the night in my home in her room. ( She has 3 younger siblings). If she chooses to spend the night elsewhere, she will let me know so I don't worry.
I do not expect her to pay rent if she is a student, but if she chooses to quit school and work full time she will pay a fifth of the bills. And will still not have her partner stay in her room and will let me know if she will not be home overnight.

Answer 7

My mom had a very simple rule. If you work, you help pay the bills of the house. I had the electricity bill, and my brother had the cable bill and my sister (rightly) had the phone bill. Mom took care of the cooking and groceries. We all had to keep the house clean and that's how our family managed. I think it was a good system because it taught me responsibility and prepared me to live on my own.

If you decide to make that kind of a rule, it should not change and you should definitely stand by it.

Answer 8

Your rules, your house. When I was 25 I had to move back home for awhile, my sister also did at that time she was 23 at the time. We had to pay rent, food, and pay for some bills such as power and gas. I didn't have a b/f in the province at that time, my ex was in Alberta at that time living with his parents, for a bit. We either had to be working, in school or doing something to better ourselves. My sister wasn't allowed to bring men home. She had to go to their house if she wanted to see them. My parents didn't want her men over. My rent was $200 a month for my old room, plus food and bills. My sister's was the same. I was in a job club looking for work, and my sister was in school I have a younger sister who was 15 at that time and she had nothing to do with this because she was in High School still.
I did my own laundry, helped with dinner, helped with chores. I was on my own at 18 and my ex and I had split at that time when I was 25, that is the last time I had lived with my parents, I am 35 now. I won't live with them again. I love them, but I won't live with them.

Answer 9

good question. Well i was 18 and still living with my parents, i think if you are 20 or older and are working to pay for you own things, then there should be no rules except so loud music after certain time, and no coming home drunk, or having a half naked guy or girl walking across the living room or kitchen the next morning lol.

Answer 10

We will require them to be actively pursuing some kind of long term goal (college or career). If they were in college they would only be required to have a part time job, if they were focusing on their career, obviously they would be working full time. We would also tell them:

No matter how much you are working, you would be required to put 50% of their paycheck into a savings account for you to use when you move out (this would be their "rent") and not before.

You must keep up your family responsibilities (housecleaning, cook one night a week, etc).

You must be home by the time we go to bed or not coming home at all (unless you are working), and should call us to let us know when/if you will be home.

No overnight guests.

When in doubt as to the rules, assume that you must follow the same rules you grew up with or ask if you want a new rule made. No guarantees you'll be granted your request.

We reserve the right to remove priveledges that we pay for....so if you want to know for sure that you get to keep it, you better be paying for it. We reserve the right to give you 2 weeks notice if it doesn't seem to be working out on any side.

If you produce a child while you live under this roof you will have 3-6 months (depending on how old you are...at 18 you'll get 6 months at 21 you'd get 3...after that you'd probably get less) to gather your money and get out. We will not raise your children unless (God forbid) something terrible (see:death or paralyzation) should happen to you.

Under no circumstances (*even if you produce a child with them*) will your boyfriend/girlfriend be living under our roof. They're not our kid, or grandkid, so they are for *their* parents to deal with.

We reserve the right to make more rules as necissary and when new situations arise.

After we told them that, we'd make them stick to the rules or get to getting. They're adults and they need to realize that if you are going to depend on your parents as adults that you will have to make some sacrifices for that (sacrifice being parents house=parents rules). As discussed above their "rent" is a requirement, but is actually kept for them and not paid to us, and the rules aren't going to change because they do what's required of them. As far as buying their own food, they would always be able to eat at family meals (3x a day plus snack) and be welcome to any leftovers, but if they want something different they'd have to pay for it. That would not effect their rules either.

***Edit***For your additional questions:
Yes, kind of, to no curfew. They would have the option to either come home before we go to bed, or stay out for the night. So they wouldn't *have* to be home by a certain time, but they wouldn't be allowed to just waltz in at 3am.

ABSOLUTELY NOT to having sex in my house even if they were "quiet" and even if they did it while I wasn't home. It's not respectful. I am a full grown married woman with two children and I wouldn't have sex in my parent's home....because I respect them. If my adult children wanted to have sex and live at home they would have to go to their boyfriend/girlfriend's house or rent a hotel. If I caught them having sex in my house I'd probably *impose* a curfew even though they wouldn't have one otherwise.

Answer 11

well, im 18 and live at home, i have my own job, by my own clothes, and usually my own food, and always my own medicine. I am starting to pay my parents rent that they are putting in a saving account for me so I can buy a car ( I still borrow theirs and when I use it I have to be home by 1am) and college tuition.

edit- i pay my own bills too =]