a guy who is a really good guy at the start nice and caring, then you find out he is a maniac and totally mean and disrespectful with total disregard for your feelings, what happend to intuition? did you know deep down he was like that in the beggining?
2007-11-12 17:22:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have had one very negative relationship, many very good ones, and a couple that were (are) extraordinary, and yeah, I do think I missed some signs that I should have caught much earlier (like some time before he tried to kill me). But I'm also 48 years old, so I don't think that one mistake makes me a fool.
I don't know your age, but you are sure to learn with experience what to look out for. Do listen to your friends if they seem to think something is wrong, as you might be blinded by your emotions, and also if something just feels "funny", your gut will usually know before you do
One hint I'll give you is to listen and watch how he behaves toward other people. A guy will always treat a new girl well, be on his best behavior, but if he kicks his dog, is rude to waiters, speaks badly of his exes, or treats his mother badly, just remember that one day he will do you no better. When the "new" wears off, you will just be one more of his victims, so do pay close attention to how he treats others in his life. It can tell you much about your future with him.
If this has happened to you, don't feel bad, don't be too hard on yourself. There are some real cads out there who really are expert at manipulation, who don't show their real flaws until you are hooked. Just be sure to learn from it and try not to make the same mistake twice.
2007-11-12 17:38:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I guess it happens to many people. It seems like the guys you describe do their crazy stuff only when they start feeling comfortable around you. Funny, but when I treated him like total crap, he treated me nicer. I'm glad it's over. Poor thing grew up in a highly dysfunctional home, judging from what I heard him say on the phone to his dad.
What happened to intuition: These guys are very charming, they are usually generous and fun to be around. This is their trump. But did you notice if it got too good too fast? It has to go fast, because other way doesn't work for them. It must go fast, you must feel dizzy, this is why you might close your eyes to all the red flags. When they tried a slower appraoch, the "normal" speed, any girl with brains ran in the opposite direction.
2007-11-13 01:28:57 · answer #2 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think for some reason - once we 'like' someone or they have hooked us in emotionally we subconsiously 'choose' to ignore certain things , believe lies coz we HOPE their true and generally believe / hope they will change.....which of course - they don't......and to be honest - even if they DID - the damage is already done
As SOON as anyone damages your self esteem / disrespects you in any way / gets too possesive / etc / etc! its time to get out....in other words scarper while you only like them a little bit...it will only be worse 3 years down the line otherwise.....and what a waste of time that is...but I suppose thats how we learn ( the hard way! lol )
Erm...just don't keep making the same mistakes - and YES - trust that initial intuition.....if you feel you can't trust him DON'T!!!
2007-11-13 01:30:50 · answer #3 · answered by chandra 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmm... not been fooled by any such person; for me it was them being exactly who they are so I never got surprises down the road. It was direct to know whether or not they were interested in me and when I found the right person, they've remained the way they are since I met them.
I guess I could just advice you to make sure you find out if they are being themselves from the get go or putting on an act to lock in on you... They should be open and normal not just being nice!
2007-11-13 01:31:37 · answer #4 · answered by oresco2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
**** like that happen all the time. it also happens to some very smart people. If someone is really nice and sweet to you why would u thing negative. Sometime its good to stay positive. But the person you are refering 2 is a jerk or perhaps ill and only a fool will stay a put up with this
2007-11-13 01:28:07 · answer #5 · answered by julia1975 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will be a lot of fool women follow him. Women are always fool like that. And they will get their lesson after droping too much tears for that kind of man. But, she is almost forget her lessons in the next time....and it continue goes on, goes on....
2007-11-13 01:28:26 · answer #6 · answered by maxthechiller 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy like that. All the warning signs were there, I just didnt want to see them.
2007-11-13 01:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by Raelee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear, yeah, people pretend.
To be safe,don't open your heart completly (stay reserved) for a littel while-in the begining.
2007-11-13 01:34:23 · answer #8 · answered by mimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are nice to you till they get you in the sack. Then it's all over.
They become barbarians.
2007-11-13 01:28:05 · answer #9 · answered by Agent319.007 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like my dad. He's a f**** loser who cheats on my mom.. but I know my mom was romanced by him in the beginning. Now he completely disrespects her, puts her down, and she continues to stay.
sorry to hear you know such a loser.
2007-11-13 01:26:40 · answer #10 · answered by Gina D 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋