My TEN YEAR OLD daughter is stressing?

Question

A year and a half ago, I lived in a luxurious home that cost 1.5 mill. She went to an award-winning school, had everything she wanted and such,
but now that the stock market is low & my husband & I used our money trying to pay off the house, we had to move into a small home. (Each month for the expensive house was $7,000 including paying for the staff at my nail shop($2,000) and the bills at home)
After we moved, we told our daughter to conserve money.
My daughter ALWAYS lightly scolds my husband and says: "Why did you buy a 1.5 mill house? That's why we are so poor!"
She has friends who live in the hills and has play dates to their homes. When she comes home from her day of play, she says how beautiful the home is and how lucky her friend is and then talks about homes and foreclosures on the way home.
She is just ten years old! We have $200,000; left and she cries over how we are going to end up on the streets or foreclosures or apartments.
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Help! What do I do???

She does conserve money, do well in school, nice, but it's just that she isn't happy with her life right now and that she thinks we will end up in the gutter or in a lousy apartment.

Answer 1

Reassure her that everything is ok. Tell her that life isn't all about money and it isn't what makes a person happy. Family is what matters. Tell her things might get better again and that you could not help what has happened. Perhaps look on the Internet of people who really do have it bad and tell her that it could be worse and to be thankful. She just needs your comfort. You might want to consider counseling for her to help her deal with it all. Big transitions are really hard on children and they have a hard time understanding and think the worse.

Answer 2

Sorry to say it but you have created a child who believes that having everything, a nice and expensive house etc are the important things in life. Due to your previous socioeconomic situation all her friend seem to come from priviledged backgrounds. She needs to be shown how most people live and that there is nothing shameful about your new situation.

She also know way too much about your finances. I don't know any 10 year old who knows the value of their property. Whether it's intentional or not, having her know about your finances is causing her much anxiety.

Your daughter needs reassurance that everything will be ok for her as she's obviously had a dramatic change in her life, and she's basically terrified about where this will all go.

Answer 3

Sounds like you have shared way too much financial information with her already. She has probably heard you and your husband talking about money troubles and does not fully understand the situation.

Also, what kind of conserving of money can a 12 year old do? Was she allowed to spend as she wished before? If so, that was a huge mistake and has warped her reality of life.

The only thing you can do now is assure her everything is fine and be more careful in the future about such conversations.

Answer 4

Maybe it's time to start teaching children the value of things besides material wealth. Most of her friends and their families are much unhappier than she is, as they are still stuck in the system of financing their lives through borrowed money.

She shouldn't compare herself with other people in terms of how many shiny machines they have. This is a habit that will ensure her unhappiness throughout life, as a meaningful life isn't a pursuit of shiny machines imported from China.

Even if you do end up on the streets or in foreclosure or in an apartment, that doesn't make her or your family any less valuable as human beings. It's also a disturbing lesson for her to learn that people who are on the streets or facing foreclosure or living in apartments are less important than she is.

Show her the more important things about life, instead of just telling her about them, and she'll be happier with herself and with you as her parents. She'll also remain happier regardless of your own personal financial situation in the future, if she has stronger bonds of family and personal relationships, instead of relationships to material goods.

Conserving money is good. But focusing on good family habits is even better than good money habits.

Answer 5

I'm sure that felt like a loss to your daughter and this is how she is grieving over it. But now it is up to you to be strong, steady and positive. Talk about the value of hard work, and difficult changes that sometimes happen in life. That even though you do your best, things don't always stay the same. But that no matter what the most important thing is that you are together as a family, and that no matter where you live you can be happy. The important things in life are not about houses and money but love, family,relationships etc... I'm sure you have your own ideas too. Don't act guilty or mad about what happened. She will need to vent, but stick with positive talk about your family values and the important things in life. Be proud of yourselves as a family! Good luck.

Answer 6

Get a job, budget, make more wise investments, don't live so luxuriously, and get over yourself. There are so many more people who live without anything and work their butts off everyday for practically nothing. There are people who work HARD and can't afford every meal. Your daughter sounds like a spoiled brat, THAT is her problem. She doesn't appreciate what she has and only cares about what she doesn't have. She'll have to get over that before she stops "stressing." She doesn't even know what stress is though.

Answer 7

Troll

Answer 8

The real problem is yourself You never accepted this financial defeat So how I do you think your dauther will accept it And yes I agree with the other answer your dauther is a brat plus she has your blessings WHy she should change "'You tell me

Answer 9

take ur daughter to a homeless shelter to help out for thanksgiving dinner. once she sees how crappy those people live, she wont bi*tch anymore. trust me. she needs a taste of reality, and to see what life is like for normal, average, hard-working people. also, dont let her hang out with the snobby rich kids anymore, if it causes her that grief. send her to public school, and let her make friends with middle to lower class kids.