my 26 and 29 year old kids, one of them even has 2 kids here too. thay are mad at me because i make them pay rent..
not much just 50 a week. my bills went way up when they moved in. and i cant aford it.
am i wrong
2007-11-12 15:10:13 · 41 answers · asked by sjk60pete 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I want to thank everyone for the great response. i needed to know if i was being the evil step mom.
many of you have hit on other problems we have had, like work ethic, chores, responsability, and respect.
now the girl has moved in a boy friend. he stilll showers at his moms down the street. should he also pay rent?
thanks again for the valadation.
2007-11-14 14:02:45 · update #1
NO! they are grown, and they need to be independant... you can not take care of them for the rest of their lives!
2007-11-12 15:13:04 · answer #1 · answered by Lilly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HELL NO! You are not in the wrong on this one Mom! I'm 24 and I have no children, but I live on my own. I don't ever want to move back home. When I was living at home, my parents made me pay $200.00 a month and I had no problem with it at the time, because if I total up all the food, electricity, water, etc. I was consuming, it added up to WAY more than $200.00.
In your case, you are also feeding your Grandchildren too, and they are still complaining? I guess everyone feels differently about their parents and has a different level of consideration, but no, you are not in the wrong. In fact, you shouldn't even have to ask this of them, they should see how much of a big help you are being to them and just offer assistance, instead of being lazy, leaching @ssholes. Sorry, but it's true and I only know how to speak that. Best wishes!
-Knowledge24
2007-11-12 15:20:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong. I can't believe you are even letting them live with you! Very generous...50 dollars is a token sum...it shows that they are willing to contribute to the household and not just be useless sychophants...but you have bigger problems...at 26 and 29 they should be able to survive on thier own on "the outside"...I say not only are they going to contribute 50 dollars a month but they have 6 months to get their stuff together and get out!
Look, you aren't going to be around forever (not saying you are ancient, just a fact of life) and this is where they are going to have to learn to survive on their own....so really you are doing them a huge disservice by letting them act like major moochers and spoiled brats.
Send them on their way in 6 months or so...help them make plans for that....and then take up some fun empty nest hobby like electric guitar or metal sculpture.
2007-11-12 16:11:50 · answer #3 · answered by joellemoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say you can't afford it, well that's your answer right there. We all would like to give our kids the world and actually we have its up to them to realize that and enjoy it. For there own good they shouldn't even be living with you at that age but if circumstances have it then yes they should at very least pay something. If you don't make them pay they are getting the wrong idea of what life is all about some may call it tough love i just call it common sense you should have learned in kindergarten you don't get something for nothing which means you don't live here or anywhere for nothing.
2007-11-12 16:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely NOT, you stay firm with them and make them act like adults. I do say that you need to think about giving them an idea of how long you will be "helping" them. This should not be a permanent solution to their situations.
As far as the one with 2 children living there, theirs should be more...$250-$300/mo. (if u provide the groceries for everyone). I firmly believe that this is simply enabling them, if you do not do charge them something and they should have responsibilities. Each cooks dinner 2x week for everyone? They must help keep up on household chores,...after all, they use the areas too!
Good luck hun, be FIRM. Your not helping them if they get off scott free and run into debt! I am all about family being there for each other, but there has to be a limit and mutual respect.
This is your home.....they are adults!
2007-11-12 15:19:34 · answer #5 · answered by grumpy_chick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong. You have bills too. And they get mad? Ask them what sort of accomodations they think they'll find elsewhere, for $50. per week.
I would make it $75.-100. per week and extra for the children, or based on what sort of salary each made.
Remember, you have extra expenses with groceries, laundry, heating, phone, electricity, water, plus the inconvenience of having somebody use the last of the shampoo without telling anybody or replacing it, etc.
You need to talk to them and let them know.
2007-11-12 15:44:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez Louise!!! You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT but a bit of a pushover.....
Charge RENT and you better verbally let them know that you are giving them a HUGE break by only charging
$50 a week!!!! Put your foot down and let them know they must follow your rules as well. This could include a curfew, babysitting limits and meals for themselves.
A 20 year old and a 26 year old are responsible for themselves. You raised them - you did your best. Now - it's time for them to make it on their own. You ARE NOT responsible for them and don't have to give them a place to live. Cut the apron strings and let them grow up. Trust me - it's the best thing you could ever do for them.
2007-11-12 15:15:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO your totally in the right, and kudos to you for making them pay...they are far to old to think they can get a free ride since your their mom. And your not even charging them that much so they need to suck it up and stop whining...how about they move out and pay their own rent somewhere else and see how expensive that is, much more than 50 a week. To many parents baby their grown kids and it does more harm than good, they never learn to do it for themselves they always expect their parents to pay it all so I think your totally in the right here and tell them if they don't like it they can move out.
2007-11-12 15:15:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
It is not wrong. I understand if they are having financial problems. I understand if you are letting them save money to get back on their feet to get out on their own. However, it is disrespectful for them to even think of not helping out at a fair price. However many adults, split it however many ways!!! And you shouldn't have to clean a thing. They should do it out of gratitude for letting them come home in their time of need. Put your foot down now or suffer my moms fate. She pays all the bills for my 43 yr. old brother and his family. Over $2500. a month. He is so used to her taking care of everything that he just expects it and she doesn't like for the kids to suffer. She is 75 and on a fixed income. I pay her bills so she can pay theirs. Don't be their doormat. Be their parent and show them that you love them by making them useful citizens!
2007-11-12 15:23:52 · answer #9 · answered by Amy J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im 29 and i pay all my parents utilities which is like 800 a month. Tell them to shut it and help the family because elsewhere theyd be paying at least 4x that for a family of 4. If you have money however, it makes little sense to make them pay, but they should volunteer anyway so im unsure about what to say in that circumstance.
2007-11-12 15:14:43 · answer #10 · answered by grind333ing 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NOT AT ALL! I'm 17 years old and I live above from my mother and pay her $250 a month. They are LUCKY for the price you're charing and you compeltely have the right. If they get angry tell them to get out and find a place with a better price. I guarentee they never will.
2007-11-12 15:15:41 · answer #11 · answered by Roxy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋