What do I do???

Question

This is definitely one of those "save it for the diary" kind of rambles but I have been depressed as hell and confused for the last four or five years. I know what I need to do to begin solving my problems (eating right, exercising, meditating, therapizing or whatever) in but I keep messing up and getting drunk every weekend (at least) without fail which puts me back at square one every damn Monday. I know I have a drinking problem but my weeks are so unsatisfying that I see know other way to have fun than doing the usual. I hate the idea of being an A student with everything going for him and seeing myself blow it because I have nothing to look forward to. I have definitely been far more depressed than this but I am starting to believe that it really is just me. For some reason I don't think therapy is going to do it. How do I change the way I generally think about myself and my life? What do I do? Best answer is a saint.

****!!! I think I finally heard what everybody has been afraid to tell me and I really appreciate it. Except for you bubbles. I don't think anyone who I have talked to for more than five minutes would say that.

Answer 1

Sounds like you're trying to fix everything at once. Tackle your problems one at a time, keep earning those A's (that knowledge will come in handy in the near future) and slow down. I don't know enough about your drinking. It might seem like a problem through the eyes of your depression, and so you're too hard on yourself. A therapist can help you gain an objective perspective, sort out what really is a problem and even prioritize them in order of what to work on first. Taking care of a smaller problem, like treating yourself as well as you would treat your best friend if he had a drinking problem, might make the other goals you have easier to attain.

Depression is kind of like diabetes. It can't really be cured but it can be managed. Good luck.

Answer 2

Get help. Even if it's just a friend. Someone who will maybe hang out with you on the weekend and keep you sober and on the right track. Maybe your problem is that you don't have a friend like this- you can find a sort of right-track buddy through organizations geared towards your issues or group therapy. Go to an AA meeting of you have to.
Another thing is you need to not put off shaping up until tomorrow or next weekend. You need to at some point say "Now. I'm turning things around this very moment." and from that second on, give yourself the propper care you deserve.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Been there Bro, lemme walk you through it.

It is a very common thing to get in a "rut" and to feel stuck in an unsatisfying situation. It CAN easily last a few years.

A frequent escape for feelings are substance abuse, alcohol is often a favorite, because it's cheap and legal.

The truth is, there is no miracle therapy or cure. But, there is a way out. Fortunately for you you already have done the first thing. Talk about it.

Therapy is often just that, working out stuff in your mind. It's like thinking aloud. Just that someone will sit in front of you and pehaps show you another side of a coin you may already be looking at.

All in all, the internet can help you get going. There are dicussion groups where you can discuss your issues with people that have either had similar experiences or are going through something like you are.

Just beware of armchair psychologists, such as myself :)

And: HANG IN THERE! You are not alone and your best chance to get out of your "rut" is beleive you can and keep talking with people.

HTH

Answer 4

You have an allergy to alcohol. It's not uncommon. 1 out of 10 people have it. Your body reacts in an abnormal way when you consume alcohol. Most people, after having more than 1 to 2 drinks in an hour, will begin to feel nauseas, with a slightly tipsy, out of control feeling. If they drink more they'll start to feel sick. It's their body's way of saying "Quit! Don't put any more of this stuff in me!". But with someone who is allergic (has an abnormal reaction. Call it alcoholism if you must.), their body responds by feeling excited and instead of feeling out of control, they feel even more IN control. Alcohol acts as an upper rather than a depressant. But the worst part is that the alcohol also creates in you an actual, physical craving for more alcohol.

From what I understand, it works like this:

When alcohol is consumed, it passes from the stomach and intestines into the blood, a process referred to as absorption. Alcohol is then metabolized by enzymes, which are body chemicals that break down other chemicals.

In the first stage, the alcohol is broken down into a material called acetaldehyde. In the second stage, it's broken down into diabetic acid. In the third stage, it's broken down into acetone. Then in the final stage it's broken down to a simple carbohydrate, water, sugar, and carbon dioxide. At the acetone level the enzymes necessary to break it down from the acetone to the simple carbohydrate are not there in the same qualities and/or quantities as they are in the body of the nonalcoholic.

Now, it is a well know fact today, that acetone ingested into the human system, that remains there for an appreciable period of time, creates an actual physical craving demanding more of the same. In the body of the nonalcoholic, it goes through that stage so rapidly that the phenomenon of craving never develops. In the body of the alcoholic that breakdown is so slow, the acetone remains there for a long enough period that an actual physical craving is produced by the acetone itself.

Once the alcohol goes into the body it creates a vicious cycle that virtually demands that the user take another drink. And another. And another.

But if that were the only problem, the alcoholic would simply refuse to consume that which he is allergic to. The problem comes from the alcoholic, knowing that he cannot drink in moderation, continuing to make the decision to take that first drink, knowing full well that the result will be the same. If we were surveying someone who had an allergy to milk or seafood, and yet continued to consume those items, ending up in the emergency room each and every time, we would conclude that they probably had a mental disorder. And so it goes with the alcoholic. The problem is not so much the physical allergy as it is the mentality that prevents the alcoholic from refraining from consuming that substance that causes them so much grief.

Get help man. It's out there. AA seems to be a good place to start. There are also many substance abuse counselors around to help.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I am sorry that you are so depressed. Alcohol is a depressant ( as you probably already know). You may need to just suck it up and see a therapist. There is nothing wrong with talking to someone who is a professional. They have tools and skills that can really help you figure out what the foundation of your problems are. We use alcohol as a "quick fix" but it truly amplifies our problems. You are not crazy. Ignore any ****** who mocks you....
Life is tough. Don't face these issues alone. Do you believe in God? If you do, PRAY. Prayer is powerful. Don't ever underestimate the power it contains. If you are not a believer, what harm will prayer do? TRY IT. God bless you and I hope that you can figure this out. Get help and pray. That's what I did.

Answer 6

Therapy has a bad rep. U don't have to be crazy to see a counsellor. It sounds like you could use someone who is not biased to vent your frustrations and talk over your feelings with. It sounds like you just need to get your **** straight. BTW, alcohol is a depressant so the more you drink the more you're going to get depressed. If you really can't stop then you have to go to AA or something to get help to stop. Drinking is just too damn easy but it seriously keeps you from thinking straight. Same with drugs. You feel good for a while but long term it just F___s you up.
Good luck

Answer 7

I have been there. Go to your doctor and tell him how you feel. He/she will give you a test to see how depressed you are. The next step is medication. The first days stunk for me. I couldn't sleep at night and was dog-tired during the day. By the one week check-up, I had lost 7 pounds and had started to get used to the side effects. After 4 weeks, I felt so much better.
You have to stop drinking for it to work. Drink O'Douls, go to an AA meeting, challenge your friends to not drink (if one of them blows it, he throws $5 into the kitty. Whoever stays sober the longest, gets the money.) I volunteered to drive everywhere while I was on the wagon. My friends then paid for whatever I wanted (soda, cover charge, etc.)

Answer 8

You can't. If you tell yourself you're a good guy, another part of you will say,"No you're not". The only thing that works is other heavy hitters telling you that. The easiest place to find these guys is in AA. Some drink for a while, some don't. But I used to come and go to have coffee. Most are nuts, but if you're fresh out of laughs, that's the place.

Answer 9

Waterman, it's gotta be the pits to feel that way so long. Definitely, something huge needs to happen that will shake you out of this situation for good. The only thing that will do it for good is that you talk to God. Tell Him how sorry you are for the way you've been living, and that you need His help to live the life He has planned for you. Tell Him you receive Jesus Christ as your personal LORD and SAVIOR. Thank Jesus for dying for your sins on the cross and ask Him to come into your heart and to help you be the person He wants you to be. Find a local Christian church and get into a rehab program. It will take hard work and persistence. God bless you. Here's a website that can help: http://drphil.com/shows/show/525/

Answer 10

Some therapy may not help but some therapy may help. The important part is for you to find the right therapy for you. The drinking doesn't help you but you continue to try it. And as you know alcohol worsens depression. Don't be afraid to try therapy, to give a chance but be a wise health consumer and rearch what is available to you. The first step to felling better about yourself is to become proactive. And being proactive means seeking the help you need. Be as good to yourself as you would be to a love one.