I'm an only child. My parents are divorced. I live with my mom. I used to whine and complain about how bored I was and how I wish I had a sibling. Then I found out before my mom had me she had a miscarriage. I felt bad for whining about being an only child but now everytime I do something or everytime I feel good I feel bad because my brother/sister won't get to enjoy those things. Like I always wanted to be a model or an actress but then while I'm walking the red carpet. Well I believe in reincarnation so I don't know what my brother/sister will be doing but still. I feel terrible everytime I do something good. I know It's not my fault but... What should I do? I know my brother/sister is probably reincarnated by now going on his/her on bussiness. But I can't get over it.
2007-11-12 14:07:36 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Besides that I hate myself because I think all my complaining may have hurt my mom but I don't want to bring it up again because it migh hurt her.
2007-11-12 14:12:20 · update #1
You believe in reincarnation. Have you ever considered that you may be your brother/sister? Come back to the same parent because s/he never got to meet your parents and live life?
Live your life to the fullest, don't be too much of a hassle to your parents and love them. Do these things for your sibling. And don't worry too much, they wouldn't want that.
2007-11-12 14:11:57 · answer #1 · answered by swordofafang 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your sibling would not have wanted you to feel bad. I know it's sad to think about what could have been, especially if you think it would have been good, but a person can wonder and wonder about so many things like that. Life could be much different right now for anyone if they didn't do the things they've done in life or lose this or that, or walk into the store that they meet their future spouse in or... the day that you decide not to buy that lottery ticket you were about to buy, might have been the day you would have won it... but you would never know, because you never played it. I'm not saying that THAT is a good idea, but I mentioned it to help illustrate how everyone and everything that happens or doesn't happen really intricately affects our lives. Also, what we think is unfortunate... sometimes isn't really unfortunate, it's just that is how we see it at the time. When a miscarriage happens, it's because something went wrong with the baby's DNA or something and wouldn't be able to grow or live outside the womb. The baby went back home.... to God. If you believe in reincarnation, then you believe he or she could be reborn right now. Either way, your sibling is fine, so you don't have to worry about that. He or she would want you to be happy and live your life and be the best person you can be.
I am a mother of an only child myself... I sometimes wish I could have another, but for medical reasons I am not able to. My son is going through something simular, he's bored alot and sometimes says he wishes he had a sibling... I tell him that I wish I could have had a brother or sister for him and that I am sorry that I couldn't. I said that maybe when I get a clean bill of health from the doctor (I've had a bout with a rare form of cancer) that I could adopt a little brother or sister...
Maybe that's an idea for your mother... you could talk to her about it, there are alot of children who need families.
Anyway, I wish you peace...
Shalom.
2007-11-12 22:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a miscarriage happens, it is usually a sign from nature that something was wrong with the baby and it is natures way of correcting the mistake. You shouldn't feel bad or put your life on hold because of something that no body had any control over to begin with. I also had found out that I had a big brother that didn't live long after birth, after whining around about my little brother. After all these years, I to still think about him and what he could have been, but I see it this way- I could go on and feel bad about something that no-one had any control over, or live and do what you like and think that that is what they would do, too.
2007-11-12 22:21:15 · answer #3 · answered by Kimberly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel too bad - a lot of women have miscarriages. Usually the baby could never ever have survived or lived a worthwhile life if they had made it to full term so this is the body's way of sparing the hurt as much as possible. Your mum having had a miscarriage probably means that you were so wanted and loved when you were brought into the world and your mum wants you to have the best of everything so you should live upto that and not be held back by the thought of someone who might have been
2007-11-12 22:15:22 · answer #4 · answered by Evieve 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it. Over 50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, many of them before the woman even realizes that she is pregnant. Don't feel terrible every time you do something good or have a wonderful life experience. Your potential sibling will never have to go through any of the bad things of life. Deaths of parents, friends, being teased in school, etc. If you believe in reincarnation, you can rest assured that your sibling is out there somewhere in the world, having his/her own wonderful experiences, and not worrying about you at all, or the life that he/she once lost.
2007-11-12 22:13:35 · answer #5 · answered by Molten Orange 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been on both sides of the fence so to speak. My sister died of crib death before i was born and my mom also miscarried a son late in her pregnancy before I was born. So I know what it feels like to have thoughts the same as you. I have also lost a daughter mid term ..she was to young to live long after she was born. My suggestion is to never feel bad for the good things that happen to you or that you experienced ..Im sure that where ever your sibling is they would never want that...and live well and do your best as a tribute to their memory. It might also be nice to talk to your mom. Tell her how you feel and tell her that you are sorry for the things that you might have said that inadvertently hurt her over the years. Tell her that you are sorry for her loss and give her a big heartfelt hug. Try to understand the loss of a love one isnt something to "get over" You and your mom have to live with it every day. The best you can do is remember them with love and live well not letting the past hinder your future.
ps... take it from someone that knows..your mom might be sad if you talk about it ..but also it will make her happy that her baby was not forgotten. You would be telling her that you remember ..and that you care about her pain. It would be a good thing for you and your mom.
2007-11-12 22:22:53 · answer #6 · answered by phantasygirlhfc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is feeling bad going to bring back your brother/sister?
Is making your life better really going to make that person suffer?
A miscarriage is never an easy thing for any person involved. It's even harder on the family. But, as difficult as that was for the family, you are a blessing to your family. So the best thing you can do is to live and enjoy your life.
Matt
2007-11-12 22:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by mattfromasia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom had a miscarriage before I was born, too, so I can sympathize. I always wondered what they would be like, whether it was a brother or sister (I always liked to think it was a sister because it was just me and 2 brothers.), what they would look like, what they would be like, what would they have in common with me, etc.
I realized that unfortunately things happen. My mom got over it, so I figured I could too, but I still think about him/her every now and then. I just moved on like Mom did. Try not to mention it around her, and do not blame yourself. It's not something you could have prevented, and remind yourself of that every time you start to feel terrible.
2007-11-12 23:44:58 · answer #8 · answered by Bookworm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people believe that the soul of a miscarried child was just not ready for the world yet, and is reborn later to the same family - so YOU would be the reincarnation of that miscarried child - and you're not missing out on anything!
2007-11-12 22:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by Seraphim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to somebody about this. its normal for people to feel grief and less deserving but you dont have to. this is when i like to through religion into things. you might of been chosen by god for your mother to help her. im guessing you are a female this may mean that your mother wanted a girl and could love one more. or that God thought your mother wasnt ready for a baby at that time. if recarnation is for you and lets say this mascarrage of your mothers turned out to come back as another person in another family recieving the same love you get. things work out and happen for a reason and when you cant explain them you just have to wait it out. you will know that your mom loves you and your reason for being here is a very good one.
2007-11-12 22:17:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋