I have been dating a marine for about 3 months now. He always spits in public and it is gross. What do I do?

Question

I think he has allergies, but I keep thinking fix them! I haven't said anything to him because #1 we are long distance and #2 am I being too judgemental plus #3 what do you even say to stop it anyways? I'm thinking it is something that will always be and it embarrasses me SO MUCH. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

TELL HIM!

Answer 2

Tell him how you feel. If you hold it in then he will never know that it bothers you. Its better that you are honest so that he can work on this. It may be such a habit for him that he doesn't even realize he does it.

Try saying it like this, "Honey, I love you very much so please don't take this as my being judgemental, but when you spit it really bothers me. Could you please not spit when we are out together?" Say it nicely and sweetly. Use your serious side but be nice so that he doesn't see it as you being picky or judging him. If you have a flirty tone or a sexy look that he can't say no to then you know just the button to press. Believe me though, talking about your feelings is the best thing. Just don't bring this up around others. Do it when you are together out and about, maybe after you witness him spitting and then that would be a good time to bring it up...certainly don't bring it up in front of his friends or just after a long day at work.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Whether it is right or wrong to be bothered by it, you are, and you're not going to stop being embarrassed and grossed out by it just by deciding you shouldn't be. (There's one big mistake I made with my ex: telling myself I was being shallow and shouldn't be bothered by his habits and things just made it that much harder to explain why I was avoiding him all the time and irritated with him.)

Tell him that it bothers you and let him know you're afraid that you're being too judgemental as well so he doesn't think you're telling him he's a horrible person or something. That way, he has a chance to know that it bugs you and change his behaviour. (Hey, it's possible to cough quietly and spit discreetly into a kleenex at least, even with allergies acting up.) Besides, I don't think most women like it when guys spit, so even if this relationship doesn't work out, it's perhaps something he might want to be aware of.

Answer 4

I married a guy in the Navy and he did the same thing. He told me it was because of his allergies. But the spitting was so gross and it gave me the gag reflex evertime he did it. Sometimes he would spit in the sink or the toliet and then not flush. I just wanted to tell you that I was in your situation once upon a time. And I constantly told him how nasty it was, yet he kept doing it!
I would tell him about it, maybe he will be better than the guy I had and stop.
Good Luck to you!

Answer 5

Phlem is disgusting. It is bodily fluids spewed out into the public. If he had Aids or Hep C or whatever, it would be very worrisome. He doesn't I hope but when I see some schlock honking and loogeying, I know I would not want to kiss him... Yuck! I don't know what I would do if I were you. If there were other disgusting habits along with this one, I would move one. You owe it to him though to tell him how it makes you feel. If there is no sign of acknowledgment from him on how it makes you feel. Then, yea. It's time. Life's too short to be stressed and upset over something that can be corrected but is not.

Answer 6

Just because he's a Marine doesn't REALLY give him an excuse to be a Neanderthal. There's never any excuse for spitting in public, ever.

Tell him to knock it off, or you will not go out in public with him again. People ARE judged by the company they keep, you know. That's not fair (whoever said that Life is fair?) but it's true. Trust me on this one...

Answer 7

i also spit a lot in public. On the streets, roads etc. i just cant help it. I have allergies, and apparently it has to do with OCD also. I read on wikipedia that people with OCD often think they need to clear there throat even if there isnt anything there, and spit it out. Just tell him not to do it. If my girlfriend told me that it was rude and gross, then i would stop(atleast when im not around her).

Answer 8

First does he chew tobacco? If not the best way to confront your partner whether it is long distant or not, is with complete honesty. Let him Know that you are concern about his well being and wanted to know if there is a medical reason why he does that, if not tell it makes you uncomfortable when he does that and you would appreciate it if he would try not to do that in front of you. That best way to handle any problems in any relationships is with true honesty it could never make things any worst than it already is if anything it makes your relationship stronger if its meant to be.

Answer 9

Well ... tell him it grosses you out ... if it's not something he can stop doing then you're either going to have to get over it or get a new boyfriend. Thank the maker that you aren't dating a farmer ... we've been known to blow our noses outside by putting a finger over one nostril and blowing out the other one ... and then doing it for the other side. I guess it's kind of gross but I don't think the cows mind ... lol ...

Answer 10

Go out and get you some Captain Bars , put them on , when you see him ,Yell "Attention" , Tell him he is under orders not to spit in public again . If he is a real marine he will never do this again

Answer 11

wait a little longer to mention it. and if you must mention now it make a joke out of it first. like almost serious. maybe say to him every time you spit in front of me it makes me want to puke in my mouth. dont let him know it embarrasses you b.c of others tell him it bothers you personally and that should be enough.i think thats gross also. but guys are weird when getting rid of there disgusting habits.