My boyfriends son so out control it's driving me crazy. When I ask him to do something he asks "Why?" I say Because I asked you to." If I tell him to stop something and doesn't I put him on a time out and then he srie about and says he didn't do anything when his dad come around the corner. It's gotten to a point where we have taken toys away from and he still doesn't listen, We have tried everything in the book. Have ideas? Please help before I go insane.
2007-11-12 13:29:58 · 8 answers · asked by faithful_nascar_fan 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Its hard to figure out what is the best way to deal with these situations.
First, consistancy is the key. You have to make sure that he knows what he did wrong and how to correct it. Also that it must be the same everytime. Don't let him do something one time and then get on to him the next, or don't get on to him one time for something and then slack off the next time.
Second, he is five, I have read parenting books that say if you don't get control before 6 or 7 it will be an uphill battle from then on. Try to talk to him, let him know that everyone has rules that they have to follow in life, including you and his daddy. That way has helped some with my kids.
Third, let him know that lying isn't going to put y'all against each other and that lying should be one of the unbreakable rules of life. I know it sounds a lil cheesy but it has helped with mine.
If he does something that he is not supposed to take away what is most important. I have taken ALL of my kids toys away for a couple of weeks because they refused to clean their room. Set a time line for the punishment mark all the days of it on a calender so that he can see how long he's in trouble for. I have also taken my kids tv and movie rights from them. That drives them nuts, and you a lil nuts too, but don't give in! That doesn't teach them the lesson. Don't put the grounding for too long at this age. One day is very long to them so 3 days would seem like eternity without toys or tv!
Spanking is not a bad idea! Just have a set plan on when it should be used. Always spank with the hand so that you know how hard you spanked, if it hurts your hand, its TOO hard for his lil bottom! Always remember there is a definite line between discipline and child abuse! There is no gray area. I have spanked my kids in situations of what they were getting into was dangerous to themselves or destroying objects. Such as my 5 yr old recently threw a rock through the back glass on my van. Considering that I have been getting on to my nephew all summer long for throwing rocks and that she had just sat in time out for 30 mins for hitting her cousin in the head with a rock, I spanked her lil bottom! And then grounded her for the rest of her unnatural life (one week). She lost all her toys and her tv rights. Not to mention had to clean her room after her sister got through playing each night. After day one she swore to never throw a rock again. Day 2 she starts helping me do house work because she is completely bored! Day 6 she has been extremely good all week long and been such a big helper that I let her off her grounding for the last day.
Just start by setting up rules and try talking to him, kids are smarter than most adults give them credit for. If talks don't help then take other steps. But remember consistancy is the key!
2007-11-12 14:02:22 · answer #1 · answered by reecie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep doing what every you believe is a good punishment, spanking, time out, taking toys whatever. It doesn't happen over night. They have to learn that everytime they do this, this will happen. So you have to keep showing them it WILL happen. Plus this could be issue with his dad and mom. I know sometimes kids going/gone through a divorce have problems behaving. The why stage is common. My niece has been in it for 3 years. Everything i say or do, its why.
2007-11-12 13:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by babygurl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a four year old and and a six year old- both boys. And here is what I have learned. They test and test and test. Especially if they have a step parent type figure. They are always testing my husband. So what he is doing is normal for his age but I just came up with consistant rewards and punishments for behavoir and tried my best to stick with those every time. I find that with my boys rewards for good behavoir (i.e. money for piggy bank, ect.) and the same punishment (ie. timeouts in the "timeout chair") worked the best.
Good luck!!
2007-11-12 13:40:23 · answer #3 · answered by Lacie C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man that's tough. There's nothing like an unruly kid ... and there's not a whole lot you can do since it's not your child. I would talk to your boyfriend and let him know that you don't appreciate his son questioning you everytime you ask him to do something. You are the adult. He's the child. When you tell him to do something, he should do it right away.
2007-11-12 16:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your b/f need to be on the same page when it comes to discipline. Is his mom in the picture? If so your b/f needs to make sure that she is not bad-mouthing you in order to make their son think he doesn't have to listen to you when he is in your home.
2007-11-12 15:27:49 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be consistent...keep punishing him fairly...this is a battle of wills and he is going to keep pushing your buttons for a while, hoping you will give in and let him do whatever...both you and his father need to be on the same page and support eachother, don't fall for the old "I didn't do anything"...hang in there..
2007-11-12 13:50:23 · answer #6 · answered by mago 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like we people always say a get smack will do. It wont kill him!
2007-11-12 13:39:46 · answer #7 · answered by Trell 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
whoop him
2007-11-12 14:10:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋