2007-11-12 13:05:09 · 11 answers · asked by million$gon 7 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I don't appreciate the advice to "not control" and to go to al-anon ! Jeeesh !
That person's negativity is hurting me, and her negativity is hurting herself, I've be positive, upbeat, optimistic, caring, patient, helpful, but she's possessed by negativity. It breaks my heart, chest pains, headache, to see her suffer, and for her to make me suffer
2007-11-12 14:35:40 · update #1
That is a tough one.
It is so hard to be around someone like that.
I have a family member like that.
I work at being upbeat & positive and I finally got to the point where I had to back away from talking with her so often. She wanted to know why I didn't have as much time to talk anymore & I told her the truth. I said " I tell you when you complain, & I tell you how I would handle it, and nothing ever changes. You just always have an axe to grind. "How pleasant do you think that is to listen to over & over, when I could be doing something constructive". She had little to say but I tell you The Conversations changed.
Once in awhile she falls back but I change the subject to something upbeat and she gets the message.
Geeeze we must think of ourselves while trying to help them see that it is a heck of a lot brighter looking up, then down.
I worked to hard to come up from where I was to be pulled down by listening to neg. neg. neg. ~~~~
Good luck & Blessings to you ~~~
2007-11-12 13:40:13 · answer #1 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, do you know why they are being negative? You could come right out and ask your friend why they are being so negative. Maybe it's something you could help with in a supportive kind of way. If this person is dealing with depression, you can't just say "Stop being negative", that won't work. Depression has to be treated. It can't be just turned off. You may, being the caring friend you are, be able to persuade this friend to see a dr? Best advice I can yield for now. Good luck.
2007-11-12 21:24:54 · answer #2 · answered by thewildeman2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only one you can change is yourself. I deal with negative people all day, and it really takes a toll on me. Not only are these people negative they are cynical and sarcastic.
If the negative behavior is directly aimed at you--if you can walk away. If someone has said something directly to you that has hurt you or upset you---explain that you feel disturbed by what they said. Don't attack the person, this will only put them on the defensive to fight back.
Some people are born miserable and never happy with anything or anybody. If you think----HEY THIS IS THEIR PROBLEM not MINE, it may help you to look at it in a different light.
I actually feel sorry for people like this because they are losing out on the great things in life.
2007-11-12 21:43:36 · answer #3 · answered by Seablanco1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You start being extremely negative that it pisses them off and then you can make them aware of the irony.
Or you can just straight up tell them they are negative and you're tired of their pessimism.
Point out that the glass if half full and that kinda crap and keep on hitting them with positive stuff.
2007-11-12 21:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by ... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say what is going on here so I am winging this one.
Do what is called paraphrasing; when they say something negative, repeat it back and just look at them. Keep doing this, see if they hear the negativity in what they are saying.
2007-11-12 21:12:03 · answer #5 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them how their attitude is affecting you. If you tell them that you refuse to be around them because of it sometimes this will change it. Also try to give them things to be positive about. List the good things in life to them and make them see that it is better than what they think.
2007-11-12 21:14:36 · answer #6 · answered by k-baby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you realize that you cannot get anyone to stop anything you can only influence a person, you cannot control so start with working on you persuasion skills.
2007-11-12 21:13:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teach them, set an example.
Maybe they just need to be shown how to be more positive. If this doesn't work have a good talk with them about their attitude.
Good luck, hope it helps.
2007-11-12 21:56:18 · answer #8 · answered by Floating Cloud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must first realize that you are not in control of anyone else. you can not change anyone else. until you realize these two important things, you will drive yourself crazy. let go of ALL control. the only person on the planet you can change or control is YOU. even if you are a parent this is true.
best of luck.
check into ALANON (search online) and its principals.
2007-11-12 21:15:41 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. Rbt Thomas, MD,Phd,DOC,CCHt. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
mayb the have the right to be negative all the time
2007-11-12 21:08:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋