She had a stroke and I have to do everything for her. It's very hard and I have no social life. I have a girlfriend but she's far away right now. How do I cope with this, cuz I'm under a lot of stress right now.
2007-11-12 11:45:15 · 12 answers · asked by Phillip M 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I worked as a Social Worker for many years dealing with homebound elderly patients.
Here are a few suggestions:
Does your mom receive any other insurance other than Medicare? Medicare will pay for home health services and nursing for a limited amount of time.
If she is on Medicaid--then she is eligible for nursing, home health aide, medical day care, respite care.
Medicaid is a program based on her income.
Make a phone call to the local county welfare/social services and see if there are any programs available in your state, that provide home care services. There are many states that have Community based services for the elderly and disabled at a minimum cost.
Also contact a State or County Sr. Service Agency. Some Home Health Agencies have extra funding where they can send an aide out to your home at no expense to you.
You will need to do your homework.
I cannot tell you how many times I saw the Caregiver get sick (from stress) or even wind up in the hospital--and then mom was left with nobody to take care of her. I've also witnessed cases where the elderly parent out-lived her younger caregiver and was placed in a Nursing home.
Obviously, this is something that you sound like you want to avoid.
This is a really stressfull position and you cannot do it yourself.
Medical Day Care is also an option. These centers DO take in individuals who are wheelchair bound and require total care. It would be a respite for you during the day. Your mom would get a few meals, nursing care and she can participate in the activities she is able to---if it just means watching a movie.
This will give you time to go grocery shopping, get the wash done and you won't have to leave about leaving mom alone.
Good luck!!!
2007-11-12 13:23:08 · answer #1 · answered by Seablanco1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are being very selfless and deserve a pat on the back. This is not an easy time for you. You want to do what is best for your mom, but at the same time you want your own life. It is perfectly normal to feel trapped. I commend you for taking on this responsibility. Just know that this situation will not last forever, even though it seems like an thankless, endless task. Maybe you could call the hospital and ask what they recommend. Is there some sort of program where a nurse could relieve you a couple of days a week? That way you could go out and get some fresh air and have somewhat of a social life. I wish you the best of luck. You are a saint for taking care of your mom.
2007-11-12 11:57:51 · answer #2 · answered by *Honk Honk* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sympathize with you totally. It takes tons of patience to be a caregiver. You are not only facing stress but isolation.
Taking some time for yourself is crucial. Even if it is for a hot bath or something pleasurable.
There are many quick and simple techniques you can use for stress relief. Breathing exercises, simple yoga poses, drinking relaxing herb teas are just a few. Bach flower essences are great and address the emotional issues of your situation as well.
You are probably in need of extra vitamins and minerals during this stressful time. You can try a "stress formula" or extra Vitamin C, E, A and a good B complex.
As far as the isolation, I am sure there is a caregiver's support group in your area. I live in a rural area and there is one at the local hospital. That will keep you in touch with your fellow human beings. There may be other groups that you could join to keep your sanity. The important thing is to stay connected and have a little fun.
Just remember, the less stressed you are, the better caregiver you will be to your mother who needs you.
I hope this helps you cope!
2007-11-12 12:19:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Join a support group, if you can't go in person join one online. Keep in touch with friends and other family members by email and over the phone. Find things you can do at home that you enjoy (watching movies - try Netflix, playing online games, soduko, gardening, baking, etc.).
Get relief, even if its just for a couple hours one day a week. If a relative or trusted friend can't watch her, hire a home care service but be sure to check references. Then get out with your friends and do something enjoyable.
2007-11-12 12:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by Brandi C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that she took care of you during the times that you couldn't. She's your mom just enjoy the time that you have left with her, I know that the circumstances you are under right now are difficult for you, but Im sure that she must hate the idea of interfering with your life. Just let her know that she is loved.
And as for your social life, Are there any other relatives that can help you out with her? what about finding a private nurse so you can have breaks. There are other options, you just gotta find out what they are.
2007-11-12 11:53:28 · answer #5 · answered by enslaved79 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a blessing to still be able to take care of your mother at the age of 93. You should make the best of it while she's still here. At her age, you never know how much longer she has to live. So try not to stress so much about it....Maybe you should see about getting help.
2007-11-12 11:51:32 · answer #6 · answered by iGNORANT GiRL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what kind of situation you're in I was in the same except I had to help my mom take care of her mom;my grandmother and then one day she had a diabetic stroke and her doctor manditorily put her in the nursing home so she could get 'round the clock care due to me being in college and both of us having to work and having a house hold a peice to take care of and relationships and all. but we still go see about her and take her everything she needs or wants because if it weren't for her I wouldn't have a mom and I wouldn't excist because she gave my mom life and in turn gave me life. But I have friends in this same predicament and they have a home-health agency that comes to thier home at least 3 times a week to take care of their loved ones so they can get out and take care of errands and go see their friends for a little while and be able to have "me time". So I would talk to her physician and see if he'll refer her to a home-health agency that can come to your home and take care of her for a little while a few times each week so you can get out and get a peice of mind and catch a breather.
2007-11-12 12:16:07 · answer #7 · answered by angel_marie_1986 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With compassion...It is the cycle of life. One day (hopefully not) but your children will have to care for you too! What your are doing is great, I am sure she appreciates it a lot. It is surely a blessing that she is still alive and you can spend this time with her. Make it fun for the both of you!
2007-11-12 11:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by Nada 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check with a social worker in a hospital close to you to see if there are any resources to help you out. If not there, there may be a senior information and referral program in your area which may have knowledge of resources. You do need help. You need to talk with someone in your area to get ideas of what is available. Good luck.
2007-11-12 11:51:38 · answer #9 · answered by Simmi 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hummmmmmm, who took care of you when you were born?
You helped you all through your life. I really wish my Mother was around so I could care for her. If you have brothers and sisters, close see if they can help out, every once in awhile.
You could always put her in a home, then you could go have your fun relax and forget she even existed. Sorry, but I take care of my Husbands 89 year old mother, she's a pain, but I know if it weren't for her, we would have had problems through out our marriage. She helped emotionally, financially, and most of all with her wisdom.
Quit whinning
2007-11-12 11:58:48 · answer #10 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋