I was dating this guy for 3 years. I am an attractive successful woman. This man had many good qualities. He is kind, incredibly attractive, loving, and intelligent. The downside is he is 43, lives with his parents (last 10 years), unemployed currently but going to school fulltime. I am so sad because he was such a great support to me when I went through a lot of bad times. Is there help for a man like this? He has anxiety and other issues to overcome...
2007-11-12 10:56:42 · 8 answers · asked by daisy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There's help for everyone, but sometimes, you just need to let people deal with things their own way. You might push them over the edge if you try to change who they are. But I would get a mental doctor to talk to him if he agrees. When I mean mental doctor, I don't mean one that treats severe patients.
2007-11-12 11:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by DCD4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-08 20:01:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand completely, I too dated a guy for 3 years who lived with his parents he was a nice guy also but he ended up breaking up with me and finding someone else extremely quickly (he actually spotted her out before we broke up) and they were married within 6 months. I also have went out with this guy who is 42 and he has been divorce and has issuses and i don't think he will EVER overcome them I have given him chance after chance even stopped speaking to him for several years then got back together with him but nothing has changed his still hasn't grown up. If the guy still lives with his parents at 43 and has anxiety and other issues to overcome you need to move on and let him deal with it...He should've been out of his parent place a long time ago...A "guy" should be a provider and with him living with his parents he is not showing that is much of a provider I don't care if he is in school. Take my advise...move on there is a reason for everything..
P.S. I'm sure you see some good quailty's in this man, I did in the guys I dated but there comes a time that you have to realize that is this healthy for me?
2007-11-12 11:09:04 · answer #3 · answered by ♫piano_player♫ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that it takes a long time to get over heart breaks but sometimes you just need to learn to let go. Listen, there will be another man out there for you. He will actually be the perfect man for you. There's always somebody out there for everybody. Just give it sometime. Try to start dating other guys again but this time don't get too serious before you know that you all's relationship is for real this time. Talk to him about how you feel and about how bad he broke your heart after three whole years. If you don't know why he left you, ask him. I hope that this is comforting to you. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-11-12 11:02:24 · answer #4 · answered by criswellmary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Movie "Failure to Launch" comes to mind...
First of all...
It sounds very similar to a relationship that I just endured-- for the past 4 1/2 years. This guy was a huge support to me when I went through some incredibly difficult times. He had helped me quite a lot-- but ultimately moved home to live with his parents while he "got back on his feet"-- after having a number of months "off" -- after he was fired from a very lucrative position.
Just reviewing your question...
I feel a sense of "judgement" with the choice for him to be living with his parents at his age... but it looks as though he is making a firm decision to "grow"-- by going back to school. I've been a professional Psychic for 16 years-- and have often seen that when there is a sense of "judement" on anything.... (ie-- him going back to school).... that it would be best for you to drop all contact with him if you are Not in Alignment with his pursuits to improve himself.
Going back to school at his age-- takes a Lot of Personal Gumption. He is a very strong person to go back and pursue something with kids 1/2 his age. I did this last year when I went back to study Graphic Design. It is very confrontive to compete with 20 year olds who are used to studying and competing with one another--- particularly when you've taken about 10-15 years off school to pursue your career or life.
He is obviously striving towards a new goal-- and needs to have supportive people around him... cheering him on. The last thing that he needs right now-- is someone who begrudges him the education that he may need to improve his life where he can once again afford his own place to live... and to possibly support a wife and treat a girlfriend out to nice dinners etc....
Anxiety... and other issues to overcome???
Going back to school after 40 is one of the most challenging things that I've personally ever done. My hat is off to him. Yes-- it is highly stressful... and VERY COMPETITIVE....
You are running up against people who are 1/2 your age-- which can give anyone an Anxiety Attack!
Perhaps part of these issues will be resolved by continuing on -- with his education... and finding someone who fully supports him with that process.
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The only way that I see this working out for you two to be together... would be to get to a point where you BECOME that supportive person-- who is cheering him on -- in this phase of educational growth... knowing that he's doing the best that he can right now-- to secure a better future for himself-- and the woman that he loves (or the woman that he will love in the future).
2007-11-15 08:04:31 · answer #5 · answered by Cynthia H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a good fit. Why are you broken up? Are just embarrassed of his situation. Anxiety can cause a lot of people to not want to work or leave home. If you do want to get over him, you need a clean break. Play lots of music, keep busy and allow yourself to cry and heal.
2007-11-12 11:02:18 · answer #6 · answered by blg22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is hope for anyone who wants to change, but you can't make them want to change it must be of their own accord.
2007-11-12 11:00:43 · answer #7 · answered by Soap Box Preacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can change if they put their mind to it
2007-11-12 11:02:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋