What do you think is a good age to have children? What is too old?

Question

I'm from a city where the majority of people I know have kids in high school or right after. My boyfriend, who is 28, and has a 1 year old son, doesn't want to have any more kids until he is in his mid 30's. I feel this is too old. It's not fair to be old while your kids grow up. (My parents were in their 30's when they had me and my dad had a heart attack and almost died before I even graduated high school.)
What do you think is a "good age" to have kids?
If you have kids, how old were you when you had them, and are you happy with that?
Thanks!

btw, I am 21.

also, i am about to graduate from college, so i will have that out of the way.

Answer 1

85 is to old
i think like between 20-30 is gud...n after you finish skool n all that important stuff

Answer 2

I think 22 -35 is a good age. A lot of woman are having kids in their 30's these days and it is fairly safe although there are some risks. With women going to college more and being more educated and working higher paid jobs than their husbands, a lot of women are waiting later. I would like to start having kids around 26 or 27 because I won't be getting married till I am 25 and would like to be done with graduate school first. I think women should wait untill they are about 22 because then they have had a chance to do something like college or something like that before they get settled down.

Personally, I think women shouldn't have kids unless they are married but that is just my opnion. In reality, it is really just up to the couple to decide what is best for them.

Intresting question. I will star it.

Answer 3

I know people in their 20's that have children, and people well into 40's and 50's! Being "old" doesn't mean you're a bad parent, just as being "too young" doesn't either. It completely depends on you, and your relationship. I'm an elementary teacher and I see many teenage parents, and many "young" parents. Often they've had kids in high school or right after, and many of them don't seem very prepared for being parents. They're still growing up themselves. There are many relationship problems and issues to deal with. This is just an example.

DH and I are both 30 and we made a conscious choice not to have children yet. I don't feel I'm "too old"; rather, I feel that I've lived enough of my life and developed my character, and educated myself to the point where I'm ready to have children in the near future.

A friend of mine has young children and his 50's and says that his parents had him in their 40's, and by that time they had a solid relationship, a good background, and never argued or raised their voices at each other because by that time together their relationship had developed and matured greatly.

Being "older" doesn't mean you're more or less at a health risk. Life happens, people die far too young sometimes. It's about the journey you make along the way, not the quantity of time.

Ultimately, you have to talk to your significant other and make that choice. Best wishes!

Answer 4

When I was a teenager I watched my aunt have her kids at age 37 and 42 and was horrified by the issues she had to deal with. They had plenty of money, but she didn't have the energy for her kids, and she was established in a career and didn't feel that she could leave it. She was a weekend-only mom who farmed her kids out because she physically couldn't keep up with them. Now my younger cousin is in high school, his dad is dieing of age-related illness and my aunt is an exhausted sixty-year-old trying to deal with a teenager and struggling with a stressful career when she should be enjoying retirement.

Also, every medical study in the world has shown that it is much harder to get pregnant, bring a child to term and babies are simply less healthy when the mom is older than 35.

So I decided I would not have any children after the age of 30,

I got married just after I turned 20, had my kids at 21 and 23, then a third at 28. Then I changed my mind. I don't think 30 is a good cutoff age anymore. If I could do it again I wouldn't have any kids after age 25. Why? My energy levels, my ability to physically cope with childbirth and raising an infant between 23 and 28 dropped faster than I would have believed.

Men mature, physically and emotionally, slower than women, so I would add five to ten years to those ages for the oldest time for becoming a father. But not too much older (not older than 35) because recent studies have shown that older fathers are more responsible for Downs Syndrome than older mothers (baby born to mom/ 20 and dad/45, has an equal to or higher chance of having Downs Syndrome than a mom/45 and a dad/20)

Women should have their kids in their early to mid-twenties, men in their late twenties to early thirties.

Answer 5

Hello I was 23 and I feel too old is when you cannot participate in the child's life participating in school actives . Girl scouts boy scouts all outside activities that the child is interested in. There is a high percentage of mothers that spend more time in their cars and trucks transporting their kids from one place to another than she spends inside of the home and some of these moms work and it has to be very tiring even for the young.Yes I agree It Is not good to have children at a late age .But some people want to wait so that they are financially stable so they can give there child a good and stable life which I find to be ok too.

Answer 6

I think mid twenties is good to start. I was 26, 28, and 31. I may try and get pregnant (I am 35.) I think a bit of wisdom under your belt would be a good thing. But I wouldn't wait until 30 to start either. You may want to have several children and might run out of time. Pregnancy got harder for me the older I got.

My dad was 27 when I was born. He died at 48 (I was 21) of a heart attack. There are no guarantees!

Answer 7

I had my son at 26. I'm now 31 and planning another. I had 35 as my cut off. If I don't have another by then, then it wasn't meant to be. But as far as being to old I don't think 30 is too old. Too old to me are those people who are in there 60s and still having kids. That isn't fair to their children. There is also the matter of being to young too though. People sometimes don't really get how much time and effort it takes to raise a child. At 21 I was to busy doing my own thing and learning who I was. At 21, 31 looks old. But its not. I don't feel like I got older, I feel I'm getting better. I know total cliche eh? But I feel I'm blooming not wilting.

Answer 8

I had my first son when I was 24 and the age was a good age but my marriage was terrible and ended when he turned 1...it was a good age for me but the marriage situation was terrible and my second son was born after I remarried and had a wonderful husband....I was 32 with husband 39. The 39 might be older when you think about how old you will be when he turns 18....57 yrs. The main thing to look at is your own maturity, your relationship and whether their father is going to be an active part of their lives. It is hard being a single parent...was one for 4 years with a full time job from ages 1-5 years old..that was tough with a dead beat dad...the child is the one who suffers and it is hard on your next relationship too. Good luck.

Answer 9

I had my daughter at 22, so I would've been probably pregnant at your age. In my case it was just as well, as by 28 I couldn't have anymore! I would think that 20 - 30 is probably the best age range for a woman. I don't really think that men have the same fertility issues as a woman, so if they're a little older I don't think it matters as much. As a rule you must also take into consideration the emotional, financial, and parental responsibilities before bringing a child into this world.

Answer 10

I am still in high school && there are plenty of girls having babies. My mom had me when she was 18. I dont think it is a good idea to have one when your under 20. I would like to have my first kid when I am in my early or mid 20s. I dont want to be an old mom. I want to be a young and cool mom.
But in my parenting class they said if you have a child while your in your 30s then they have a chance of getting something. I forgot what it was called. That may or may not be true. But if your in your 20s Id say go for it if you and your husband both agree and wouldnt mind it.

Answer 11

Hiya - I had my first at 32 and my second at 40 so I am an older parent. I feel ancient when I try and run about with my 3 year old as she is active and then some (like ten kids on red bull). But if I had to choose, I would have not waited so long. For men, 30's is good as they mature slower than women. So, I would say get them in before 35 and all is okay! After that, its a bit hairy.