Ok there is this guy that likes me at the gym I work at. Well he has liked me for awhile and I am starting to like him but the only thing is, is that I am 21 and he is like in his mid 30's but looks in his 20's still. He is so sweet to me and considerate and respectful and everything. I am thinking about giving him a chance even if it doesnt end up working. What do you think?
The only other problem is I have a boyfriend, We have been together for 4 years and he is the only guy I have ever known, so I have never been able to experience anyone else. Even if I just kept flirting with this guy at the gym, I dont think it would hurt to even go out with him one night even if its just that so I can experience someone else... What do you think?
2007-11-12 08:48:17 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
why do you feel the need to experience someone else?? if you were comfortable in your current relationship, that would BE IT!!
however, obviously you are not!
do what you want, but know that there are CONSEQUENCES for all of our behaviors!!
2007-11-12 08:52:33 · answer #1 · answered by 100% ♥Creole♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So if you are 21 now, and you were dating your current guy for 4 years that would make you 17 when your present relationship began. I assume he was your first everything (intimacy and all) So now you are changing. As young adults we will eventually grow into who we will ultimately be as a person. It may coincide with the person we grew with, or it may take us in totally different directions. So that is what I am seeing in this situation. So that is your first matter. Finding out what is left between the two of you. I would do this before I stir up anything else. It could be that you are simply growing apart, or curious to what's on the other side. Although you willingly admitted that even if it was for just a moment you wanted to have that experience, but do you want that experience no matter the cost?
I don't find the age difference a factor, or how the two of you met, but as you said....the problem is that you presently have a man.
One last thing. The guy at work will be there, and according to you has been, so take the time to evaluate what you have presently because once you make a move, I doubt if that man will be there when you return after you experimental affair.
2007-11-12 09:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by Big Mike B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are touching on a number of issues here. First is the issue of age. That should not be a problem as long as everyone is of legal age and no one is lying to the other about it.
The other issue is your fidelity and commitment to you boyfriend. While you've been together for four years and he's the only one you've been with, going out and "experiencing" someone else for one date could put your current relationship in jeopardy. Have you discussed the possibility of having an open relationship with your boyfriend? It would be in this space that you could experiment without causing damage. Is there something missing from your relationship that you think you can get from this other guy? Think about these things before you take that step. Is it worth risking a four year relationship over? If you are willing to lose your boyfriend then at least you are going into this with full knowledge of the possible outcome.
2007-11-12 08:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by Eric G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if your bf did this to you???
If you are even playing with the idea of going out with someone else, then you are not really happy deep down inside of yourself with your present situation. And if you were to marry your bf, you would probably have an outside affair someday.
It could be that you are feeling faltered at having another man notice you.
As to the age thing, it does not matter. Many many many women are married to older men, myself included. These marriages usually work out better than when the man is too young and immature.
A 30 year old man has already established himself in the working field and is more settled and usually knows exactly what he wants out of life.
2007-11-12 08:59:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your boyfriend needs to find a girl that cares at least a LITTLE about him.
Go ahead with the older guy if you are ok with it just being for the experience, because I'm guessing that is all he wants. Men in their mid 30's don't do relationships with 21 year olds. Sorry, it's just two totally different places in life.
He wants in your panties - that's pretty much it.
2007-11-12 08:53:17 · answer #5 · answered by nite_angelica 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will be doing yourself great harm to your relationship with your current boyfreind, if you cheat on him......please...save yourself alot of pain by telling your boyfreind that you are thinking about living for awhile as unattached. If your boyfreind loves you, then this will hurt him....but not as much as if he finds out that your a cheater and a liar. The grass allways looks greener on the other side of the fence.....but beleive this.....you will never be able to recapture the safe and comfortable feeling you have with your first love. Nor will you ever be the sweet and innocent girl, that is so enchanting to other men. You will just be another girl who puts out.....that guy that wants you....will more than likely dump you after he has you.......wise up.......it is a cold cruel world out there......many women have found that the grass is not as green as they thought.......it is just a curiosity that passes......OH...TO BE YOUNG again.....yes....I would have avoided the temptation......it is only sex....without the love to go with it........not a good thing.........I hope you don't find out.....
2007-11-12 09:04:36 · answer #6 · answered by chemistkat55 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off - you need to decide if you really want to be your current relationship with your boyfriend. If you do, then you must not go out with the other guy. If your current bf is not who you want, then you need to break it off. No sense wasting each other's time in a dead end relationship simply because you two have the habit of being together (been there - done that). If you do go on a date with the older guy - keep an open mind. My sister is 27 and her husband is in his 40s. He treats her better than any of the guys her own age that she ever dated. It took me a while to get past the age thing, but I know that she is happy and well taken care of. To me, that's att that matters.
2007-11-12 08:55:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I say don't do it. If you have been with your bf for 4 years, there is something there that you care about. To me you hardly know this other guy. All guys are going to seem sweet and caring at first but it's because you don't know them. Plus he's much older than you and has experienced so much more. Would you like to go and hang out with his friends that are in their mid 30's to 40's??? You are young...look...he's 30 and still working at a gym and he gets to look at young girls all day. I bet you wouldn't like it if your bf went to go hang out with a girl he hardly knew for a few hours?? Put yourself in his shoes and stick with the BF you would be happier.
2007-11-12 08:54:40 · answer #8 · answered by Yep...Me! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you say experience... You do mean sex right? Mid 30's You better check if he is married and If he is so handsome.. How come he does not have anyone? If you are happy with your boy friend you should not even have any thoughts of experiencing anyone.. Good luck but be careful.... Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-11-12 08:56:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Invite him out to dinner and myabe even bring your boyfriend. Tell your boyfriend you just wanna go on a "short break" for like a month of however long you want. The age is kinda wierd, but if you think about it there are 20 year olds with 80 year olds! Of course, he could just be a serial killer...hmmm... :P
If you think he's Mr. Right, you'll feel it. If you don't feel anything - then maybe that's your answer :/
2007-11-12 08:53:56 · answer #10 · answered by Unnamed 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're trying to date guys behind your boyfriend's back, it's about time you break up or take a break. How would you feel if he did that to you? I know that you guys have been together for a long time and he's the only one you've ever been with but obviously you don't care too much about him.
2007-11-12 08:56:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋