So I am a single mother of one. He is two. His father hasn't seen him since he was born. I am finding that the dating aspect of my life is empty. I was wondering how to manage dating and the "single life". Is it possible? Am I going to be alone forever?
2007-11-12 08:46:01 · 31 answers · asked by Jessie 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You can go to an online dating site and in your profile say that you want to date guys who also have small children. If you meet a single dad with kids you guys can plan outings that involve your kids and it is a lot easier than dating a man who doesn't have children. I know this from personal experience.
2007-11-12 08:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is possible with a little help from family and/or friends. You may want to make a babysitting arrangement with someone else. Agree to watch their child on a specific day of the week and in turn they can watch yours. Then get yourself out there and meet people - but not in the bars. Try going to other social events that are not centered around drinking and conquests. Get involved in single parents groups, church, arts, music anything that brings people together for common reasons.
This won't be like singles dating - in that your time with a prospective date will be limited. Make sure that they understand this before getting too serious. Your child's needs will always have to come first. Also, DO NOT bring anyone home to meet your son before you have a real connection established with a serious committment. The last thing he needs is to watch men go in and out of your life all the time.
I am currently dating a man who is a single father of two teens. We have very little time together but when we are alone it is quality time and we appreciate each other all the more.
2007-11-12 08:59:36 · answer #2 · answered by sassy sue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may not be popular, but my vote is that you don't manage dating at all. Your focus is on the kids, not your own personal life. Before I get bashed, I'm a single mom, and have been really since day one, but officially since her first birthday. It's hard enough to find childcare for emergencies, for work, for school, etc... but then to spend your quality time with a man instead seems wrong to me.
My daughter is older now, and I do go out with friends from time to time, but all friends understand that my daughter comes first. Sometimes I just need to be home being a mom, and not out being a girlfriend. That's my two cents, anyway.
2007-11-12 10:51:30 · answer #3 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister was in your shoes several years back when her son was that age.
The important thing is to not introduce your child to the person you are dating unless the relationship gets serious. At least don't introduce him as your boyfriend and be sure to curb the public displays of affection in front of your child.
My sister would ask me or my parents to watch her son for a few hours so she could go out with friends from time to time....not nearly as much as when you are truly single and have no children. She would often take her son with her when she would visit with friends.
Of course, when someone came along she was interested in, she was always careful not to introduce the guy to her son too quickly.
Anyway, it is possible to date and be a single mom. My sister got married 2 years ago and is very happy. He has no children and they are planning to start a family next year.
2007-11-12 08:52:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off - find a good baby-sitter. You could also ask friends or family members to baby-sit for you so that you have the opportunity to go out. Just make sure not to take advantage - especially when you ask friends and family to baby-sit. Also, you need to make sure that you are open and honest about your child. Don't wait until five or six dates into it and then let the guy know. It is better to be up front about it in an effort to weed out the guys who don't want to get involved in that situation. Also, don't let your son meet everyone that you date. There is no need to confuse him with men that aren't going to be around.
2007-11-12 08:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is possible, difficult., but possible. Look for a guy that is understanding in your situation. Find a good baby sitter and date this person without them meeting him until you feel more comfortable about him. Also you might find out that the dating scene is not what you thought it would be and become single for awhile. Not that i am discouraging you from it, i was like you, fear of being alone, but then after a few years of dating, lol, i am satisfied with being single.
2007-11-12 08:53:51 · answer #6 · answered by john G 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is very possible to date and be a single parent. You just have to find someone that accepts children in the relationship. Because they are not only in a relationship with you, they kind of are in one with your child too. So be totally honest with them from the get go. The right guy will come along that wants to be in BOTH of you lifes. :)
2007-11-12 08:51:42 · answer #7 · answered by Samantha A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes there is a possibility of you being able to date again. Make sure that u find someone that is willing to accept your baby and not only you. When dating over again you should always give your child the same amount of attention you been giving him/her because the chid can also feel jealous of your new friend!!!
2007-11-13 03:35:23 · answer #8 · answered by NIYA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is indeed possible to begin dating even though you have a little one. It'll be good for you, so you can get out of the house, & enjoy some adult conversation. Do not discuss your personal life when you begin dating, such as the baby's dad this & that. No man wants to hear that, so keep it to yourself. You'll be alone for the rest of your life IF you think that way. There are loads of great guys out there who are looking for someone to take out to dinner & to a movie, etc. They may not be looking to establish a serious relationship right away, so enjoy getting out & see what happens. It's better than sitting at home every weekend.
2007-11-12 08:53:51 · answer #9 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hi. You are me! I am a mom of 2 and I have no child support and no vistiation for my kids either. I dated when my daughter was younger and I could afford a sitter. Once in awhile. I couldn't afford one much. I did get a boyfriend and he just came over all the time. We broke up and it hurt my kid so now I wont' let anyone close to my kids until I am certian it is going somewhere... that means, you dont' get to hang out with my kids and I can't afford a sitter right now. I am feeling pretty cooped up these days... but it will pass. It always does
2007-11-12 08:53:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋