How do I stop myself from indulging in sexual thoughts? (adults please)?

Question

Ever since I was 13 or so, I have had a high sex drive, well, my body wanted it really bad. I found that I could control it through masturbating, which went from once a day to up around 5 times.
From when I was young, I was shown God and believed, as time passed I saw things and did things that led to me falling away. Basically through my entire teens I did what felt good, well, mostly. I never had Sex or anything, but I did other things to prevent myself from wanting it, just because I felt like I shouldn't. I never did anything with a girl, just me.

A few months ago I started reading the bible, and things started changing without me realizing it. Now, I find myself fighting it. I see masturbating as something that isn't glorifying to God, yet, after a couple days I lose my mind. And then I do it once to relieve the thoughts. Then I feel really bad afterwards cause I think its bad before, during, and after. Yet I still did it.

Cause its like you don't want to do it, yet your body is driving your mind crazy. So still thinking its bad, I still do it. But nothing compared to before.

I ask God everyday for strength to resist, and he does help alot. But because of raging hormones, I unwillingly resist the help I'm given then do the same thing I asked help not to do.

I have already taken one step, I removed ever single song, movie, games. This prevents me from wanting to do other forms of sin that lead to me lusting and then to relieving my body of the thoughts.

Now, I posted it here cause anywhere else would get unwanted responses.

I don't want Sex, I don't want to want it, yet my body says to.

I don't want to sleep around, I don't want to get married, and I don't want a girlfriend.

Yet, I want to stay pure in thoughts. How do I do this?

Thought about it, but, I may want kids later, I may want to get married later, but not now. I am only 20. Maybe when im 30 ill get married. But how do I stop the thoughts now?

Gah, no one ever takes this seriously. No wonder a friend said this was the new Rome, people act just like they did in that time now. Sex is good, football is god (gladiators same thing), ruled by blood thirsty people who know how to control the population, and they do a good job.

So, can anyone seriously help me instead of posting something stupid?

Exactly what Sodom and Gomorrah thought. Lets have sex, and drink beer cause it feels good, its not hurting anyone. Look what happened to them. God says many many many times to resist the lusts of the flesh, dont have sex outside of marriage, don't lust, resist wanting whats not righteous, (Narrow is the road to heaven and wide is the road to hell.) Doing what feels good is the wide road, thats where a large portion of the world is.

Sex is sin outside of marriage and masturbation is a sin because it either comes from or leads to lustful thoughts. Jesus said, "In the old law you shall not commit adultery, yet now, do not look at a women and lust after her, otherwise you have already committed adultery in your heart."

Lust is basically adultery in your mind.

Why is everyone so in love with sin? Why doesn't anyone want to do whats right?

Your bodies main objective is to do what God wants and demands, create new life through marriage, and to bring glory to God.

And why, when I specifically stated I don't want sex, to want to want it, no girlfriend or marriage yet, yet everyone keeps posting stupid things that I asked not to.

Theres no underlying problem, Im just a guy who is resisting his emotions. Alot of guys just go with it, in fact, I would say most.

No, having part of my brain cut out is not the answer.

Thanks to those who answered seriously.

For you that don't understand, Ill try to explain it better. (to the ones that answer like sinners)

Its not unhealthy to not want to do something your body says to do. If your body is angry that you could kill someone, is it good to just kill them cause thats what your body said? No. Killing is against the law. Both our law, and God's law. But, In God's law, lusting and other sexual sins are bad. To God, sin is sin regardless of what it is. So sleeping outside of marriage and killing someone has the same punishment, death. I don't go by man's law first, I go by God's law. I feel just as bad about sexual sin as I do about lying, or dishonoring my parents, or murder. Regardless what sin it is, its against God. It doesn't have to hurt someone, if its sin, it hurts God. I Don't want to be that person. I want God to welcome me as a faithful servant instead of disowning me as a sinner.

I like to look at Paul, because his story gives me strength to overcome the sin that I am in.

I love Jesus, and I thank him daily for what he did.

But the one thing he couldn't do was be a sinner then become sinless. This is why I like Paul. And this is why I believe God chose Paul to be someone that preached his word.

Paul was once a really bad sinner according to the laws of man, (nowadays that is). He passed laws to kill people who believed in Jesus, he killed the people, he hated the people, and probably did other things that go along with that life style. Then Jesus showed him the truth. Paul lived like Jesus after that. Refraining from sex and lust, bad thoughts, and he preached the word everywhere he went. So if someone who did worse things then I have, suddenly changed to the opposite, turning from his sin to follow God, resisting sin and thoughts, God can do the same for me.

In the bible it does say for women to wear modest apparel. And they don't do that anymore.

Then, it also says not to make your brother stumble. Even if its not bad in itself, aka food or something, if it offends him don't eat it.

This is for Christian girls. Are you wearing inappropriate clothing? Did you know you are doing 2 things against God by doing that? First, the revealing clothing. Second, the clothing makes other believers stumble.

Think about it.


Then, I am not going to stop reading the bible. That is a denial of faith, that is saying God isn't important, then, to go out and do things he commands not to do is something a worldly person would do. Someone whos a sinner. Someone who is lost in the sins of the flesh and don't have the mind to control it.

Also, knowing that its bad or hearing that its bad, yet still doing it, the punishment for those people is worse. It would be better not to hear the word then to hear and fall away.

Dont worry about ads and stuff. The only thing I have is the internet, I got rid of my games, movies, television, cable, etc. All I have is the internet. I have also blocked the pages that are inappropriate lest I sin. And I refuse to go into areas with lots of things that make me stumble, like the mall for instance.

To everyone who says its unhealthy to resist, its natural to want, its good in moderation.

I don't care what you believe. I believe what I believe. I am not harming myself, I am not going against nature, I AM OFFENDING GOD, I AM SINNING, and I want to stop.

I don't need a therapist.

I am not confused.

Sex is perfectly fine in marriage. God says to those who are weak minded and weak against sexual sin, to get married, then its all fine. I don't want to get married yet. The women out their are crazy. I am not in a position to get married yet. And, I want to follow GOD'S LAW before I follow the laws of men.

Sure, your body is made to have sexual urges, otherwise, the species would die. But, strong is the mind that can resist the urges, and weak is the mind that willfully gives into them.

Yes I know, seeking a partner would be the easiest way to stop the sin. But, I don't want a partnet, neither do I want to sin.

And just for the record, this is not a religion that told me this, I belong to none. I feel the modern day church is as corrupted as the government. This is from my studies.

I will try to make this clear yet again. I am perfectly fine. The bible doesn't create molesters and murders, etc. Its the fact that parents allow their kids to watch 6 hours of tv everyday, (on average americans watch 4 hours a day), after 2 hours your brain goes into an idle like state.

After which, if you see something say, violent, your mind activates the part of the brain that wants to fight, then another part activates saying its a TV and fighting it would be stupid, then another part activates, which is the confusion section. Same with other things including sex.

After a couple hours your mind starts imprinting what it sees as reality. After so many times, you start having trouble seeing reality from non reality.

So stuff like Texas Chainsaw Massacre imprinted would promote killing, violence, pain, etc.

Also, the parents are to blame themselves. When parents rape their kids, beat them half to death, bring them down constantly, thats where molesters come from.

I am not a prophet, I am not a saint, or whatever else you wish to accuse. Someone can read the bible 20 times and not get everything out of it. God has blessed me with being able to find things that others seem to have forgotten. Or refuse to acknowledge.

Read the Epistles. Especially Romans, Corinthians, James, and both Peters. Those are good books on reading how to live as a believer.

The fact is I read them, and God allowed me to understand them. Ill give you an example on just how much I understood them.

I got rid of my TV, (Not that its evil but most of what is on it is), ALL of my videogames, (Which was alot, almost 80 PS2 games, 30pc games, 10 ds games, 10 gamecube games, etc.) All my movies, which was around 100.

And now, as hard as it was to get rid of them, I feel more at peace, I feel closer to God then ever before. Because now I have almost nothing that can tempt me away from God. Except this computer, which is easily controlled.

No, Believe me, I am not mad at women. I just need to control my own urges, otherwise I won't be able to be in a real relationship. Ill end up hurting her because of my selfish ways, and that is something I would hate myself for. So, to prevent that, I don't put myself in the situation.

Also, I need to grow stronger in the Lord, otherwise when I do get a girlfriend or wife, Ill end up spending all my time with her and little to none with him. I have seen it a few times, and because I love God more then anything, I have to grow stronger in Him so I don't ever forget this.

The bible also says that its better to refrain from marriage and sex because you will have a much higher spiritual experience with God because you won't have the earthly pleasures holding you down.

Jesus never married, he said he wished everyone would be like him, but since the population would die, he said to be married.

Paul said the same thing, he wished everyone go imitate him cause he imitates Jesus. But because the world would die off, its best to marry cause you keep yourself from sinning sexually. Unless of course you look outside of your marriage for it, then its sin.

Answer 1

Remove your sexual organs. If you don't, you will eventually catch yourself lusting (which is a sin of course) over someone.

Answer 2

What makes you think you can read the Bible correctly? I've read it several times and think it has many strange stories, some bad, some good, some boring. I wonder why the Bible? Could it be that your family are Christians? If you were from a Buddhist family, you would be reading a different book. Are you some kind of prophet sent to tell us something new about the Bible? Sinful pride will damn you long before brother body gets you in trouble.

You need to change or start on some meds. This high you are feeling right now that had you "get rid of" all your games and things that you will be missing soon, is going to go into a depression where you wonder why your God has left you. You are seriously disturbed. Answer this one question for me. Are all the other people who read the same scripture as you and have different ideas about them wrong? Are you the only one that has this right? The length of your edits are not a sign that you are in touch with God, but that you are manic.

Answer 3

You don't want a stupid answer? Then read this and think about it!

You're a male. Males are sexual creatures. You think about sex all the time; so big whoop! It's natural. Quit reading the bible and interpreting it to mean that sex is bad. That's just dumb.

Throw the bible in a drawer and get out and make friends and girlfriends and have fun and worry about freaking "salvation" later. If you don't, and you continue to deny yourself what you want the most, especially avoiding your only private pleasure - masturbating, you're going to turn yourself into some kind of sociopathic freak rapist or something!

Stop denying your natural urges and go have sex with someone who really wants it too. Once you've gotten control of your inclinations, you can pick up the bible again and think about curbing your appetite, if that's what you still think is necessary for you.

Glee - you are soooo right. lol
.

Answer 4

It is natural to be having sexual feelings. Your only human. God won't hate you for having dirty thoughts. It great that you choose to remain a virgin until you find someone you love. That's something you pure you can do for God. There's so many people in this world who treat sex as just a recreational random activity then a spiritual and loving connection with another person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life with.
You just keep on doing what you are. God wouldn't give you these feeling if he didn't want you to use them in some way.

Answer 5

Baby boy, you are so confused. You need to se a therapist before you end up wandering the streets in a dress chanting, "My penis makes me dirty. My penis makes me dirty."

Look, you were born with certain needs. Just like any other bodily need, it is your job to distinguish healthy from unhealthy. You need to eat, right? But you don't need to eat slop all day long. You're sexual thoughts have become obsesive BECAUSE you are so focused on holding them back. You don't stop being hungry by pretending food is bad, so you don't want food. That only makes you more obsesive. That is why no one is more food focused than an anerexic. Make peace with your body as a holy thing. You can spank it on occaision, it isn't wrong to do. It is healthy. You are not hurting anyone. You are not offending God. Your sex drive isn't any different than anyone elses. Indulge on occaision, but don't be a glutton. You have been making this more complicated than it is.

And Whosafunnymoose forgot to point out that females are also sexual creatures. It would be a rather silly oversite to create one without the other, doncha think?

EDIT: I am appalled by the number of people on here who are seriously encouraging this young man in his religiously motivated self torrment. Is this the love of your God? Self hatred based on just being a person? This is sick. I hate to think of the work that lies ahead for the unfortunate woman who marries this boy and has to work her way through this issue just to have a normal sex life. If you think sex, your mind, your body are dirty now, you won't stop thinking it just because you are married. I hate to think what you will deny your lover because of your delusion.

EDIT:
All women are crazy?
The goverment corupted Christianity?
Murder is a natural bodily function and morally equivilent to masterbation?
....why would anyone think you were confused?

Answer 6

If it harm none, do what thou wilt.

going by this could harm you, so be carefull.

Now ask yourself, if god finds masturbation and sex a sin, then why would he give you such impulses? i think you should seriously look into other religions, or athieism. if you feel the need to have some guidence, wicca embraces sex.

on a non-religious level, why do you fight these impulses?
sex is a beautiful thing that should be embraced and encouraged. im not saying go sleep with every woman you see, im saying find someone you love. i can think of 5 benafits for sex, but only a couple of disadvantages.

all in all, go get a girlfriend and laid

Answer 7

If its that bad maybe you need to go to the doctor to get a blood test to check your hormones. Maybe it has something to do with that. Or maybe you should try cold showers, seriously im not joking. Or maybe you should try sports, and intense sport where your body and mind will be so preoccupied and tired you won't think about sex. Maybe you should try a therapist to see if there isn't an underlying issue that is under these emotions you have.

Answer 8

Sexual feelings are normal and natural. I have those thought and feelings quite often, and I am sixty years old.
The part where you run into trouble is, that you have a two thousand year old book, telling you that every natural and normal thing in your life, is dirty and wrong.
I suggest you talk to a mental heath counselor, or your doctor and you will find, that you are perfectly okay.
Put that book down, and take care of your body, without feeling guilty.
That book is why there are so many child molester, and rapists int he world. Repression of normal feelings caused mental problems, too.

Answer 9

The sex drive is a very powerful drive and it takes a presence of will that few of us possess to 'defeat" it.

However, you may be doing more mental harm to yourself in trying to deny it that in doing it.

If you understand the prohibitions against it, it makes clearer sense as to why the OT was against it.

First, it is a misuse of commodity.

Second, sexual knowledge was not that good and many felt that a man had a finite amount of seed. It does no good shooting off into the atmosphere or going into someone's anal cavity (thus the 'abomination' of homosexuality)

Third, there is a 'self-love' problem, as you are gratifying your needs and not being married to have someone to help you.

Please, I would not worry that 'stroking' yourself is bad and evil. Certainly, if you do not do it, your body will take control (via a wet dream) to handle the situation.

Answer 10

why don't you want a wife, or a girlfriend, are you mad at woman? The bible say to populate the earth, ask yourself these questions maybe hopefully it'll help. What your doing it sounds like you are punishing yourself, only you knows if it's true or not. Pray to god and ask to help you figure this out.

Answer 11

Do you ever wonder that a beleif system really encourages such behavior, and causes it to esculate.
I do.
Seeking a mate would eliminate a lot of your problems,
because sex is a natural function mentally and physically and
is something god put here for everyone to replenish the earth.