Are weddings considered family events in your circle or are they adults only?

Question

I have only just recently heard that some people don't believe kids should be invited at all, unless they are in the wedding party. Or that if they are invited, they need to be in their own room the entire reception. All the weddings I have attended, both for my family and other people, have been family events and the kids are just as welcome as anyone else, even on the dancefloor.

Answer 1

I think that is ludicrous... Kids have the most fun at weddings. They should be just as involved as anyone else.

Answer 2

I couldn't imagine my wedding without children. You never know what they're going to do! When my fiance and I were first planning the wedding, we were planning a huge affair, everyone we knew, and we WANTED all of their kids their too. We were going to have a completely separate little "party" for them so the adults could enjoy themselves.

Since then things have changed, such as a shrinking budget. We've had to cut the guest list, which meant first and foremost deciding who we couldn't imagine not being there. We both come from large families, so children of family members come before children of non family members. There will probably only be a few non family members whose children we are inviting (possibly only members of the wedding party).

I'm sure we'll have a few miffed parents, wondering why so-and-so's children were invited and not theirs. All we can do is talk to them and hope they understand.

Answer 3

For me, it really depends. I think close and immediate family children, like first cousins, nieces, nephews, siblings and children of the and groom should be invited. Children who are blood relatives should be invited.

However, I don't see it nessacary to invite every single child a non-blood relative might have. For example, is it really nessacary to invite your co-workers 3 children or your college roommate's 2 year old..........NO. They are not blood relatives and it's completely reasonable and understandable that you can't invite EVERY child.

I can only see an issue with NO children, if you didn't invite your siblings or your niece/nephews. I say first cousins that are children, in my case, b/c I'm close to them. If you are 26 and your baby first cousin is 2 years old and you have only seen her once in her life; then I can see the reason for not inviting. Also, second cousins can be elimated. I would not be offended if my kids weren't invited to my cousins's wedding. Like, they'll remember anyway

If a non-blood relative has an issue with the no children rule, that's there problem. I grew up believing blood is thicker then water. Weddings are expensive and most couples end up cutting adults off the guest list. I think inviting an close family friend or a distance relative is much more important then inviting a non-relatives toddler.

I respect those that decide to have an adults only reception. As a guest, I would not question; especially since I'm not paying.

I also think that kids can overstay their welcome at a wedding. It's cute to see them dance for the first hour, but after that....they get whiny and needy. As a parent (this is not the bride and grooms responsiblity), I would arrange for a sitter to pick them up or I would leave early. That way, the little ones are running into people on the dance floor, etc.

Answer 4

Weddings have always been family events for us. Especially because we have a very large extended family. For my wedding invites I actually had them printed with "All children welcome". They didn't cause any problem during the one hour ceremony. At the reception the children gave the party a fun relaxing atmosphere. Everyone was excited to see everybody else's children whom they hadn't seen in a long time. I cannot tell you how many children I had at my wedding, maybe 30+. Not a single one caused a problem or threw a tantrum.

Answer 5

For me it is a family thing and we are having kids at our reception. However, it is a personal decision and should take many things into consideration.
Could you imagine renting out a museum and having someone's child mess with a display or break something valuable? I can totally respect people that want that sort of venue to ask for a "no kids" wedding.
Kids are going to behave like kids and unless you know the parents are completely reliable, you need to think it out. Keeping them occupied in another room is not a horrible idea - - especially when the parents think its Ok for themselves to party and their kids can make it a free-for-all because they aren't being adequately supervised.
I opted to not have my event at a museum as I had visions of certain relatives kids doing damage because I know how their parents wouldn't adequately watch them.
I am going to have a kids activity area, maybe even a room, that they could go to and do crafts or color or maybe watch a movie. I am considering hiring a babysitter or two to watch over the room and direct activities with the kids.

Answer 6

I'm actually of mixed opinions on this one.

I come from a huge family and it seems like every week we hear about someone else getting pregnant or getting married, therefore it'll definitely be a difficult decision for me to make when it comes time for me to plan my own wedding whether I want children there or not (not to mention whose kid will do what!).

However, I honestly don't understand why people insist on bringing their very small children to such events. I don't agree with children under the age of 4 going to weddings. It just seems like everytime there's a baby at a wedding, they'll go off the hinges right in the middle of the vows. Call me a horrible person if you want to, but I would be pretty upset if someone brought their infant to my wedding and it started wailing in the middle of exchanging the rings because it was time for them to be fed. I realize that a child crying is one of those things that can't exactly be controlled, but it CAN be avoided. Although I don't have any children of my own, I know all about them because, as I said, I come from a very large family. There were quite a few years in there where I was the oldest and was given the responsibilty of being the babysitter. I'm not a mother, but I know EXACTLY how small children are.

We've all been to those weddings (or any important events, really) where that one person brought their child and he/she started screaming, crying, and carrying on and the parents did nothing about it. I'm sorry, but I'd rather that not happen at my wedding.

I'm a very firm believer in getting a babysitter for such events mainly because a 2-year-old isn't going to get much information out of such a serious event. By the time children are 4 or 5, they should be well-mannered enough to know that if all of the adults are sitting still and being quiet that they should also sit still and be quiet. They may not know exactly what's going on, but they know it's serious.

Now that I look back on my answer, I should also add that weddings are family events 9 times out of 10 in my circle, hence why I'll have difficulty trying to decide whether or not children will be at my ceremony. Not only because there are so many children in my family, but also because all of the criticism I would face if I did decide against kids.

Answer 7

It's cultural. My fiance is Indian, and Indian weddings are always events for the whole family. If we were to tell our Indian friends and family not to bring their kids, it would be a major problem. I've seen a few no-kids weddings, but I don't think they're the norm. Most of my friends have included kids in their weddings and receptions. The kids usually steal the show on the dance floor!

Besides, who is more likely to ruin a wedding - a 4 year old or the drunken uncle? I think that parents should have the option of bringing their kids or leaving them with a sitter.

Answer 8

Kids have always been a part of wedding that I have been to. There is no way I would have excluded the kiddos in my life from my wedding. It made it so much more fun to have them there, they danced longer than a lot of the adults. I have heard that at some weddings, children are not allowed. It just depends on the level of formality that you want at your wedding.

Answer 9

Sure kids are usually welcome to informal weddings during the day. But what usually happens, the parents let the kids run wild and the DJ plays music to keep them content. More like a glorified babysitter at day weddings because most people don't do that much dancing.

Night weddings are more formal, people like to dance and socialize with all the family and friends that they haven't seen in a long time. They don't want little kids whinning and running around in a formal dinner setting. They don't want kids running around all over the place bothering their guest.

Everyone should consider before you take your child or children, Make sure your going to keep them under your finger and not let them run all over the place it only take one child to start it and all the parents will let their's go too. Ask yourself the question, if your child gets tired, starts crying in the ceramony, and being disruptive do you want to have to leave or stay there without the child and enjoy yourself.

Answer 10

It depends. Some people don't have the budget or the patience to invite every toddler and infant in the family. IMO - there's places where children belong, and places where they don't. If it's a small event with close family and friends, I see no problem with inviting any well-behaved children. (Any little monsters should be left in their cages.) If it's an event with 200 people, you've gotta draw the line somewhere. If by not inviting a handful of children who may get overwhelmed and upset by all the commotion means you can include great aunts/uncles and some life long friends - then do it!

Answer 11

They have always been family events as far as I am concerned. But I know that there has been some cases that the hotels don't want to risk the insurance risk of kids running wildly.
Most weddings I go to kids are very welcome, but later on in the night the parents seem to wander them off, and it is just crazy, happy drunk people.