My 4 year old is so persistant in her play almost to an obsessive degree?

Question

she will pretend the same thing for days and days, Right now shes pretending that my 2 year old is her baby, shes wraping her up in a blanket and making a crib out of couch cushions, giving her a doll bottle and rattle. Ill go to put the cushions back and she gets bent out of shape, well its driving me nuts. For one thing, I want my 2 year old to know shes a big girl. This game kind of defeats that. She will play a game where she has a pet store. there will be stuffed animals in all verios places throuought the house. some of them will be dressed in clothes. when I go to move them, my daughter will again have a little melt down. Im all for her having creative and imaginative play, but her games go on for days. Is this typical? What can I do to keep my sanity please?

Ok expecting, we will all sit on the floor for a week because my daughter wants to use my couch cushions for a game.

Answer 1

It sounds like you have an intelligent and creative daughter. Join in a little, and let her have as much leeway as possible. It does no harm to have toys all over the house. If you feel she is using your younger child as a toy, remind her gently that she might want to play differently and encourage your two year old to do so so she's not completely dominated by big sis.

When the time comes for tidying up, warn them so it doesn't suddenly interfere with their creativity. Give them choices "Shall we put the elephants or the dogs away first" but choices revolved around the task.

Ignore tantrums, keeping calmly to your boundaries.

I think her play sounds wonderful though. Wish I could have those days back again!

Answer 2

It's pretty typical. As long as you lay the ground rules it should be fine. The couch cushions are not toys. While in this situation, they may have been using them nicely, they're going to want to jump on them or jump on the couch without the cushions--I've seen it happen. So, I'd make this a rule.

Encourage this type of creative play. It won't be detrimental to your two year old to be a "baby," as she's being asked to imagine, too. Let her know she has one place to play her game and that she needs to ask you ahead of time. Pet store, for example, only happens in her room, the living room, the basement, wherever you're ok with her playing for extended periods of time. Also, make the rule that at the end of the day everything is picked up, regardless of whether she'll put it back tomorrow. That way she knows it's coming. Get into the games with her and have some fun with it. The more creative you are and play into the games, the better she'll do.

Answer 3

Make a tent or a playhouse in her room - allow her to keep her games up for longer if she keeps the mess in her room and cleans up occasionally. This way the mess is in there where you can close the door ( lol ) and yet her imagination can run wild.

Also encourage her to play big girl games with the younger child.Tell her that when the baby was small she couldnt play much but now she wants to learn how to be a big girl from her sister!! Make a game out of it. She might even help when it comes to potty training.

Answer 4

What your child is doing is perfectly normal..and healthy. So what if the cushions gets moved?..What are you expecting from your daughter?..she seems like a healthy, creative 4 year old..who does normal things..but hasa mom who is not sure exactly what it means tobe a child in play. I would strongly suggest you get a book on young children, or even take a childcare class, so you can fully understand. There is nothing obessive about your child..she learns thru play..
I have amojor in childcare and work with kids 2-5 for 19 years...trustme...that is what they do..they learn about thier world..they love their play. She getds upset when you come in and turn her world around expecting her to act like an lil adult. Let her be the child for a few more years..she deserves that.

Answer 5

Repeating a game she enjoys is a pretty normal thing for a young child to do, I know I used to that.
The next time you try to put away her game, recommend another game to her, or explain to her that a little variety with games is a good thing. Explain to her that you're just trying to keep your house clean. Hey, maybe you could even make a game out of her keeping the house clean!

Answer 6

i agree with monkfish. create a game out of playing.

yes its not good to stop them from being creative but you dont want her throwing a fit everytime you pick up.

is there a way she can have an area that can be her play area? that way she can be creative but isnt disruptive to others. if she has a certain area to play, you can move her toys into that area and that area only. she needs to be creative yes but she also needs to know you are right and she wont get what she wants when she pulls a fit

Answer 7

It may be that she doesn't have the oppertunity to 'finish' the game properly because you keep messing it up however you should be able to clear up without her making a fuss. Perhaps you could find a way of making her confine her games to one room and say they can go on as long as she wants but she must clear up one herself before she starts another.

Answer 8

So.... what's the problem? You should be encouraging her creativity not trying to stifle it to keep your "sanity". I think it's great she's using her imagination in various ways.

EDIT:
Oh jeez! I did not say let your child run your household, did I? No. So the couch cushion comment was a little unnecessary. There is always going to be a time when it's time to clean up. Don't get angry/sarcastic with me if you don't know how to handle your child's playtime. It's not my fault.

Answer 9

Its perfectly fine for her to play this way. As a preschooler they present the means for control. This is her way of controlling the situation. Give her time allow her different means of play maybe water colors soemthing more artistic. be patient and relay the message of you begin the adult, but as a parent that went through this myself it is fine.

Answer 10

Visit www.nami.org. They can refer you to a pediatric psychologist who can determine whether your child needs further psychiatric services. My sister has OCD. Your daughter does too.

TX Mom
NOT AN EXPERT