cesarean vs natural birth for a birth mother giving up for adoption?

Question

i would like to know the pros and cons to each and why doctors reccomend natural birth. i am putting my baby up for adoption and i guess im just reaching out and thinking that cesarean would maybe be easier because its not all pain and then this crying little miracle. im not saying it will be easy but i just want to know why people disagree with cesarean

please no rude answers and also no people that think cesarean is weak

im not really caring about how long after it takes to heal since i wont be running after a baby anyways...

also does anyone know of any sites just like this one that has only birth mothers on it?

How big is this scar exactly?

Answer 1

If you have a c-section, it is a decision you cannot un-make. You can expect to have trouble finding a vaginal birth friendly practitioner in the future - you may not think that you will ever want a vaginal birth, right now, but you may grow and change before you choose to have children of your own (if you do) and you will have a primary c-section on your medical record. That will put you in a high risk category when and if you give birth again, and even if you did opt for an epidural, would you want to be considered high risk by a choice you made?

It is also harder to recover from (it took me six months to not have daily pain, be able to walk normally again, and to carry groceries or anything heavy without discomfort or straight out pain). The risk of infection is high - if your incision becomes infected, you could be looking at weeks or months of having an open wound that needs additional medical care (either you going to the doctor or a nurse coming to clean it and re-pack the wound). I personally know four different women who have had infected incisions, and it is not pretty.

You also get a pouchy bit of extra flab (that vaginal birth mothers don't get) because they cut through the muscle and it is very hard, if not impossible, to eradicate that through exercise. My stomach flab actually hangs over my pubic hair - it kind of makes the bikini line incision they gave me useless since I wouldn't wear a bikini with my flab hanging over it anyway.

There are other drawbacks but those are the main things I can come up with.

Good luck in making your decision.

Answer 2

A cesarean is major surgery. They cut through your skin,through muscles,then into the womb. Pain? Yes ,a lot of pain,and a six week recovery when you can't lift more than a pound,where just walking across a room is difficult. Plus the risk of infection,and the anesthetic to put you out for the surgery.You can have an almost pain-free delivery with having a spinal block during normal labor ,and not have all the problems of surgery. Giving the baby to a new family is an act of love and courage,sleeping through the birth won't help,,it won't make it easier,because then in your dreams the baby will never have a face.

Answer 3

Due to medical reasons I had to have 2 c-sections. There is still pain involved - but the pain comes after the birth as you are trying to recover. You cannot lift anything over 10 lbs. for 3 weeks, cannot drive for 3 weeks and even using your stomach muscles for anything - like getting up out of bed for the first few days is extremely painful. And your stomach muscles are never the same again since they were completely cut through.

I find it odd that people say don't do it because the scar will remind you of your baby. There are a lot of things that will remind you of your baby and I'm sure a lot of moms who relinquished have a scar on their hearts for the rest of their lives.

Anyway, natural is better for both mom and baby. The baby needs to go through the vaginal canal in order to have fluids squeezed out of it. With a cesarean they need to suction the fluids out. C-section babys tend to be colicky more often.

And a c-section is major surgery that comes with risks. I was numb from the waist down but I could still feel a lot. I just couldn't feel pain but I could feel pulling and pushing and pressure and the spinal makes you feel like throwing up - so there I was - wanting to puke while my stomach is cut open and the doctors hands are fishing around for my baby and pulling him through a 6 inch incision.

Oh, and the in the end - he was still a little miracle that cried.

ETA: the only time you are put under general anesthesia (knocked out asleep) for a c-section is if it is an emergency c-section. Otherwise with scheduled c-sections you are awake throughout the procedure but have a spinal block which blocks the pain and makes you numb so you can't move from the waist down.

Answer 4

I have had three children - one natural with no drugs, the second by cesarean and the third, vaginally with an epidural.

The best birth experience for me was the epidural. I actually fell asleep after they put it in - they woke me up, told me to push and 5 minutes later, there's the baby. Your body is made to give birth vaginally - the recovery is fast.

The cesarean recovery was ten times worse than the vaginal. It is MAJOR surgery and your body can tell. I was in bed for a week and hobbled around for the week after that. It was miserable and you are left with a scar across your lower abdomen.

Answer 5

A c-section should always be a last ditch effort to save mom and baby.

That doesn't mean that you have to have your child with no meds whatsoever! There are many different medications to help you cope with pain in labor, but actually being able to push your baby out can be a very empowering experience. It makes you feel like you can do anything.

Women who have c-sections are more likely to have postpartum depression. There are a host of complications that you are at risk for, but you in particular because you are not planning to bring your baby home with you, are at risk for this one.

Not to mention dealing with engorgement and c-section recovery at the same time? Owwwwww.....

You asked about the physical scar.. it is usually between 6 and 10 inches long, just above the top of your pubic hair. The emotional scars can take a long, long time to heal.

Oh.. and no matter what your choice is, hire a doula! Often, they will work for free for moms placing babies for adoption.

Answer 6

You are looking at six weeks of pain with a c-section. Probably not bad pain but definite physical pain with a c-section. You also can not drive a car for three weeks after a c-section. I had an emergency c-section two years ago and the scar is still there.

I don't think a c-section is weak at all. It saved my youngest son's life. He had the cord wrapped around his neck twice and we lost his heartbeat for a second there.

How could a c-section be weak? But it IS major surgery. There is a risk of complications and infection with a c-section. And for many women it is an extremely painful recovery time. Mine wasn't so bad. But I still feel twinges of pain from the scar even two years after the surgery.

My best advice for you is to at least consider delivering vaginally but get an epidural. I had an epidural with my eldest and it was wonderful.

Answer 7

Natural is a way better choice for you and your baby. You can take medication in labour to greatly reduce the pain. Healing after will be painful for you, so you can do it before the birth with natural, or have a csection and recover for six weeks. Vaginal birth is the natural process for the baby. It is best and it helps the baby get all of the amniotic fluid out of its belly.

Good luck to you. It must be a difficult decision. All of this.

Answer 8

alot of times doctors will not do cesarean unless there is a complication with the pregnancy. when my best friend was having her son, the labor was so painful that she told them to just do a cesarean but the doctor said that to her. she eventually had to have it done anyway because the babys heart rate dropped dramatically. now she is pregnant again and since she had a cesarean before, the doctor recommended another cesarean. I dont know why if it was because it weakened the muscles of the uterus or what.

Answer 9

The scar will be a constent reminder of the child you put up for adoption and anyone who sees it will know so if this is something you want to keep low key thats reason in itself to go for natural child birth. Once you have a cesarean there is a risk for infection, hemorraging, excessive scar tissue as well as the risk of not being able to have a vaginal delivery in the future. You also have a longer healing time. If you are only trying to have a c section to help you distance yourself from the experience then maybe you need to speak with a counselor to help you work through this.

Answer 10

C section isnt easier and it takes longer to come back. You will have a scar since its an operation. Since there is a higher risk for complications, doctors do not use this is an option just because the mother wants it. There must be a medical necessity.