Any advice for a single mother who's 2 year old little boy hits her?

Question

I have tried the occasional swat on the behind, but not hard, I HATE hitting period, I have only done it to startle him and it seems that the 3 times I have done he than feels that it "is ok" to hit. Time outs do not work anymore as he has gotten older. Any suggestions on how I can make him realize that hitting period is not acceptable behavior? I am at a lost.

Thnx 2 some 4 some good advice!

Those of you sending me crap, like, " hit him harder", "whip his ***" you obviosly didn't pay attention to my issue as I stated I don't believe in hitting. Why would I beat my child to show him that beating isn't ok. I get that I have hit him back, and I shouldn't have, as it is teaching him that if I can hit he can hit. I GET IT!!! That's why I am here asking for USEFUL help.

I did the Nanny thing, get down to his level, tell him in a direct manner, "hitting is not OK, I love you but I hate your behavior. When you can play nicely/ put your shoes/coat on ect whithout hitting you can come out of timeout." that used to work, we have been using it since he was about 18 months, with GREAT results. Until recently when he started getting out of timeout, crawlinng across the floor and such. i would pick him up and put him back sometimes for up to an hour+. I'm NOT a bad mother and I get if it goes on it will only get worse. Usefl help PLEASE!

Answer 1

'Hitting' is NOT the same thing as discipline!! Physical discipline is necessary to PROPERLY correct a bad behavior. And your son DEFINITELY has a bad behavior. The next time someone commits a murder, let the courts just 'startle' him. THAT should 'whip 'em' into shape!! *shaking head in disbelief* Whip his a** now, or he'll be beating YOURS when he gets a little bit bigger. YOU'RE the parent. For pity's sake, EXERCISE YOUR PARENTAL AUTHORITY!!!!!!

Okay - so you don't like my answer. Then why don't you try attending some parenting classes. Chances are they'll teach better parenting techniques that will agree with you and your beliefs. I just prefer an "old school, southern way" of discipline. And it works FOR ME. I'm sorry I offended you.

Answer 2

Well, hitting him I don't think will solve anything because he is too young to understand really why your spanking him. He may think your just hitting him back and he needs to hit as hard as he can to win the 'fight'.

Talking to him isn't going to work either because he is to young to take in what you're trying to tell him. He'll probably just get up while your talking and take another strike at you.

Best advise I could give you is to when ever he hits you say " Alright little boy" and put him in a room and shut the door. He is only two and he shouldn't be able to open the door and let him sit in there and cry for a little while. Don't leave him alone of course and stay next to the door and telling him stuff like ''Are you going to hit anymore?", "Are you sorry?" and eventually let him out. He starts hitting again put him back to the 'room' and let him fight it out again and eventually he'll stop.

I saw this on a episode on a single parents TV channel and the Doctor said "...This way is most affective on a young child." Seems extreme to me but it works.

Good luck.

Answer 3

My daughter was the same way. I suggest sticker chart. Speak to him on his level (child's eye level) In a calmn voice. Dont spank out of frustration you might have to do time out more than once and stick to it, Everytime he gets out without doing the alloted time you put him back in do this until he decides t sit for the whole time. Each time you put him in time out explain to him why he is in time out and why it is not acceptable. This can take anywhere from 2minutes/ hours @ a time. Be patient and constant. The sticker chart is for when he behaves he gets a star after ex. amount of stars gets a treat. He might just be looking for some more attention try doing more things together like coloring or water colors. Try to have him display his artistic side and praise him when he does a well done job and you will be fine.

Answer 4

I can understand how you feel. I'm trained as a nursery nurse and while at one nursery we had a child who not only hit his mum but us nursery nrses who were caring for him! We, along with his mum decided the only thing that was working was if we showed him how upset we were and how it hurt us. We would pretend to cry and tell him that people who love people don't hit them or in our case tell him friends dont hurt their friends. Show him that it upsets you. It will make him feel guilty which i know sounds a bit cruel but all that will happen if you dont is in a few years in school he will do it to a child who is bigger and stronger than him and come off a lot worse. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

I'm not sure what you mean by "Time outs do not work anymore as he has gotten older." He is only 2 and time out should just be starting. I suggest continuing with the time out and be consistent. Always verbalize why the child is going to time out and about 1 minute per year of age is the average time out.

Toddlers hit because they cannot verbalize what they are feeling. They can't say "i dont like that" but they can express themselves physically.

Answer 6

Its all about the look. If you have nice, stern "you're gonna get it" look, you don't ever even have to actually "give it". You know, like your grade school principal looking at you over the top of his/her glasses. You know it's working when you get the "uh oh" look in return. I do this and I never get hit by my 18 month old girl unless its a wrestling match. My wife, however, is too pretty for that look to work and she gets the occasional shot. She just says "No hit!" and it usually ends for awhile.

Answer 7

my son went through a hitting stage and every time he would hit me i would take the hand that he hit me with and say we do not hit it is not nice you hurt momma and on occasion i would fake cry and that would make him feel bad for doing it and when that stopped working i put him in his room and tell him that when hes ready to be nice and act like a nice little boy he can come out and the one thing that he hates the most is standing in the corner so i know all i have to do is say do you want to stand in the corner and he would instantly stop whatever it was he was doing at the time. he is now 3 and hasn't hit in over a year.

Answer 8

He thinks its ok for him to hit because its ok for you to hit.

What we do with our 2 year old, is say "mommy wont play with you when you act mean, you hit mommy" and walk away. For us, time outs and consistency have always worked.

We also did some playing around, about what you should do when you're mad, and say Im mad, and get your feelings out. Really liked the Happiest Toddler on the Block tips, and the whole caveman talking thing, and verifying the level they're at. That is ok to be mad, but not ok to hit.

Answer 9

I'm the mother of two grown men and I never experienced them hitting me. I'm sure its devastating for you to know that your child feels he has to relate to you in this way when he's frustrated or angry.. my boys from early on knew that hitting and smacking were totally out of bounds, I set out to teach them empathy and gave them choices on how to act in a given situation. I let them know in no uncertain terms that their choice had consequences. The key was that I was totally consistent in carrying out what I had threatened, with no backing down. The minute you back down or give in..you've lost. It's extremely hard work and I ended up in tears more than once, but today I have two sons who are the lights of my life and they think before they act in most situations...give your son a limit. Stick to it and don't give in to him....teach him there are acceptable ways to deal with frustration and give him the example by not resorting to spanking him yourself...I wish you all the luck in this world :)

Answer 10

My 2 year old son plays aggressively. Partly due to my 12 year old daughter and their 10 year age gap. Hitting him back doesn't provide a good example, you can't hit him back and tell him it's bad to hit in the first place.

I offer my son boxing gloves, he now knows that it is only ok if he and the person he is trying to hit is wearing them. I picked mine up through Target. I found it through Amazon.com as well. here's the link hope it helps.

http://www.amazon.com/Punching-Bag-and-Gloves-Set/dp/B000JM27QE/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-0043408-0494363?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1194898123&sr=8-1