Phone call from the police and you are told that the child you have been raising for ten years is not your bio child, there was a mix up at the hospital , just now disovered. Do you trade in your child, the one you have raised loved and cared for, you thought was your flesh and blood for your real true bio child?? do you take that child from the only fmily he/she knows? Could you give up yout child after ten years of bonding if you discovered this? This question test the theory of what it takes to be a real parent genes or nurturung
2007-11-12 06:53:27 · 17 answers · asked by dreamwhip 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
For Sunny: Not a soap opera question, no I am not adopted but I do have one bio child and one chold that I adopted through my husbands law firm's private adoptions. My father is adopted, my sister has a child that she also adopted as a newborn
to Heather or the next person after Sunny" what do you mean you could not get ten years without knowing, do you read the newspapers, the twiggs case, etc. This does happen. I have a bio child and an adopted child and my "primal instinct" as you put it kicked in from day one with both. Your theory is crazy, do you have any idea how many dads out there are raising kids they "think: are their own. where are their "primal instincts" a woman can lie to a man and he may never find out or find out when the kid is 20, so your theory that you would just know is out there. You certainly can't tell by looking, not all families lok alike, I have blomnde hair blue eyes and not a single memebr of my family doe not, my huubie has ash blonde and deep blue
2007-11-12 13:27:56 · update #1
blue eyes as does every generation of his fmaily, but my daughter has light brown hair and hazel eyes, quite possibly a gnetic throwback from my dad for we don't know his bio parents, but to say you would know is ust too much. you bond with the infant that is placed in your arms
2007-11-12 13:29:29 · update #2
I would NOT "trade in" my child just because my biological child was mixed up with the one I had raised and loved for 10 years.
I WOULD, however, be checking to see that my *biological* child was in a proper home, and if so, I would NOT attempt to take that child away from THEIR family that they've known and loved.
God presents us with many tests, and if both children were being raised in good, loving homes...there would be, IMO, no reason to switch just because of a biological bond.
2007-11-13 02:44:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn’t trade the child I had raised for 10 years for a kid that was genetically mine. However I would probably try and develop some relationship with this other family. Perhaps have visits a few times a year, phone calls, write, send pictures etc.
Can you add sperm or egg mixeup in there as well? Mixes up in that happen too, probably some go unnoticed as it is more often noticed when the baby is mixed raced and both of the “biological” parents are the same race.
2007-11-12 07:31:47 · answer #2 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 3⤊ 4⤋
two words: lifetime television.
seriously, how possible is it to "mix-up" kids when they are all tagged at birth like prada handbags?
ok, buying the hypothetical scenario as possible, i would want to build a close relationship with the other family, and bio-child. i would think the other family (the one whose child i raised) would want the same. although i would want full disclosure and a open relationship, i would probably NOT switch the kids.
note: this a a pretty bad analogy to adoption. because in adoption, the bmom goes home with nothing...
oh...except engorged breasts, stiches, a sitz bath, hemorrhoidal cream and two-gazillion sanitary napkins.
2007-11-15 08:25:33 · answer #3 · answered by tish 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would want to keep the one I have and get the other one too!!! I would be soo torn by this situation. On one hand I love this child I have raised but if the other child is mine -I love that child too. Maybe with the other set of parents one could set up an arrangement where both children see both sets of parents. Give the choice I would keep the child I have raised all those years. I would of course allow the other set of parents to see that child as I would want to see "my" other child also.
What it takes is both genes and nurturing as well as all the adults working together to do what is best for the children.
2007-11-12 07:09:26 · answer #4 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
well the one i was raising is my child that is what you have to think. period. if the other one wants to come live with you then let him/her. but i wouldn't trade the other one i would have enough love for the other one if i had to but give the one i had for 10 years nope it would be mine in heart and soul and that would be it. i know its hard to let go but if the other child does't know then let it go. it would be so confusing to each child and harm them worse and that is why you must just go on. take care.
2007-11-14 16:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd seek out the other parents and arrange a dual custody situation for both children.
Your scenario, and its underlying question, are faulty... you seem to be assuming that it's EITHER nature OR nurture that makes a parent. When in actuality, it's not an either-or answer.... the answer is BOTH make a parent.
2007-11-12 12:03:35 · answer #6 · answered by concerned 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
A child is yours no matter blood. It's who raised them. I'm adopted and i think of my adoptive parents as my real parents. I had a good adoption experince. My parents provide me love and encouragement to reach for my dreams!! I wouldn't trade them in for anything. But i have to come to understand that there are some people out there that have not had a good experince as mine in their adoption. so, i can't say that they are wrong in being angry, because they are hurting. I have to respect that and try to understand from where they are coming from.
2007-11-12 07:07:47 · answer #7 · answered by a healing adoptee 4 · 10⤊ 1⤋
What you do is transition both children into both families and become an extended family unit. It is in the children's best interest to do so, and that is what REAL parents would do. Any respectable psychiatrist or psychologist would recommend the same, and they have done so in such situations - which are devastating tragedies for all concerned..
2007-11-12 07:17:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 13⤊ 1⤋
Studies have shown that in most cases accidental baby swaps, the parents at least suspect that the child they are raising is not theirs. I wonder how they would think that?
2007-11-12 07:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by Isabel A 4 · 9⤊ 1⤋
Me personally i would find a legal way to have them both in my life....Call me selfish but that is just me when it comes to kids and family....
2007-11-15 08:17:22 · answer #10 · answered by Sxy_Michelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋