How do you get a 3 year old to want to use the potty?

Question

I've been trying since my son was 18 months books, videos, bribes, toys, stickers, talking about it he's been around other children that use the potty he has underwear we've tried taking away diapers he just uses his underwear like a diaper and then it's harder to clean up right now he's using training pants. He has 3 different potty's all sorts of training stuff. I'm a stay at home mom so I'm always here with him. My mom said that I can't force him because then it could create a bigger problem like he could hold it indefinantly like some kids do when they're pushed but I have other parents telling me to rush him. I want to lead him into doing what's right but not to force him. I need something thats gonna change his mind. He wants to go to school but he has to be trained first and I can't get him to understand that. I'd like him to be trained by when he's 4 that will be in April but I'm starting to think it's impossible to train him.

Answer 1

Boys are harder to train than girls. Just keep encouraging him. Say things like "big boys use the potty" If he uses it on his own praise him.

Don't try forcing him, it will frustrate you both. He will soon decide he is ready. No kid ever graduated high school in diapers.

One of my sons actually changed his own diapers at 3 cuz I told him I wasn't going to anymore...a week or so later he decided to use the potty lol.

Answer 2

This is too funny. My daughter did this when he first potty trained the worse thing you can do is pull ups unless @ night. During the day she should be in panties and you should buy a sticker chart for her after a certain amount of stickers you get her a little treat. Whether it be a toy or DVD or candy. I also brought a potty training book for her I highly recommend the Potty Trainer Ebook. Johanne Cesar has done such a great job in putting a tremendous amount of hands on potty training information and advice in this ebook. You will get a step by step guide to potty training your child. Everytime she went to the potty me and my boyfriend would make the biggest deal i.e. doing a potty dance singing made up songs. Here is a site that can help you.http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Pot... Remember take your time dont pressure her and everything will be fine. Wishing you the best of luck.

Answer 3

Your mom is right, definitely don't push it - try backing off instead. We tried all those things, with limited success. Finally, we backed WAY off. No treats, no sticker chart, and no long lectures about how Spiderman poops in the potty. No special potty, just a seat that fits on the regular one.
He had a shift of mindset and "decided" he wanted to use the potty after all. It was summer, so I could keep him naked from the waist down at home, that really helped. If he brings up school, non-chalantly remind him that school is for when he uses the potty.

Answer 4

My kids were in diapers until age 4, I did not force the issue. Since he wants to go to school, call up a local daycare and see if they will let you "tour" the facility, (they dont know your not going to attend) take your son and put him in diapers and let him see that all the other kids his age that are going to school are not in diapers but underwear and if he wants to be a big boy like them he needs to use the potty. Im going to use this with my last son thats 3 and still in diapers.

Answer 5

Your mom is right. Many children will resist using the toilet because it is something only they can control. If you put the “power” into his hands it should be easier to get him to use the toilet. Some children will soil themselves because they get attention for it. Never make an issue out of this. If he is not ready and has not shown any interest, wait. If he sees that this is an issue for you he will resist because only he has the power over this.

Take your son shopping and have him pick out some “Big boy” underwear. If he has a favorite character he may resist soiling them. Have him use the adult toilet. You can get a cover to go on top of the seat for him to feel more comfortable. If he cannot get on the toilet without help, get a step stool. The one that Kate recommends is great! Count out the remainder of his diapers (or pull-ups) with him and say “10” more diapers left. When these run out you get to use the toilet.” When these run out, make sure he is in clothing that he can easily get on and off without your help. When you feel it is about time that he needs to use the bathroom or if you see him doing the “potty dance,” say “It seem like you need to use the bathroom” or “Guess what time it is? It’s potty time!” Do not push the issue or you will get yourself into a power struggle, a battle you will not win. If your son is successful, say things like “You did it by yourself!” “You must feel so proud!” “You used the potty!” These phrases are much more effective than extrinsic reward (Sticker charts, treats, “Good job!”). I am not one for incessantly rewarding children, but in some cases a big reward works to motivate a child to potty train. I think starting preschool is a great motivator. Take him to visit several times and make sure he understands that “As soon as you use the bathroom every time, you get to start school.” He will have accidents. If your son soils himself, hold him responsible for as much of the clean up as possible. Simply say, “It looks like you need to change.” This way will put the power into his hands. He can take off his soiled clothing, rinse them, put them into a plastic bag into the laundry, clean up, and put on clean clothing. If your son is given as much control as possible, you will find that it is much easier to train him. I know it is hard to take a step back but if he takes care of this himself it won't take him long to learn it is much easier to use the bathroom.

Be patient and good luck!

Answer 6

We are in the middle of training our 3 year-old son. We are going to only diapers at night. We set a timer and make him sit on the toilet for 5 minutes each time. If he potties we set the timer for 30-40 minutes, but if he doesn't we set if for 10-15 minutes. He was dry all day yesterday, but still won't poop in the toilet. I put a liner in his underwear so the poop is easier to clean up. I also have plastic pants to put over his underwear to keep his pants dry/clean. I'm not sure if they still make them. I have not been able to find any on Babies R Us web site. I have ones that I had when I was a kid.

FYI: Don't waste money on Pull-ups. They are still diapers. My friend's daughter NEVER, EVER had diaper rash until she started using them. The chemicals that they use in the ones that fade when they pee, or turn cool are not good for their skin!

Answer 7

When a friend of mine recommended a potty training step stool, I was skeptical it would make a difference. I could not believe my kids reaction to The Potty Stool http://www.thepottystool.com I started by just setting it at the toilet. This stool makes every toilet kid-sized. My kids immediately climbed up on this stool and discovered that they could safely and securely use the toilet. This got them very interested in using the toilet and they were potty trained very quickly. My kids like to use what they know mommy and daddy use. And it really is wonderful having your kids independently use the toilet on their own. The handles make all the difference --both felt comfortable and were relaxed enough to have easy bowel movements. Plus for my son, it really did help for him to learn standing up. He could see what was happening and connect the sensations.

I like that I don't have to double the steps of potty training by training them first in a potty and then training them to stop using a potty. And not dumping and cleaning a potty each time is great. The best thing is that kids use it for years. I hope this helps you

Answer 8

Give him space. Bribing doesn't ever work because if he finally does it he'll expect a reward every single time and if you stop the rewards he stops doing what's expected.
Try making him clean his own mess. Refuse to change his diapers. And don't give him anymore attention than letting him know he didn't do what was asked of him. Often times kids realise they're getting you worked up and getting attention from you for their behavior.

Answer 9

Praise praise praise...

Take him to the toilet right when he wakes up, either in the morning or from his naps. Once he finally pees in the toilet, clap your hands and tell him what a good boy he is. Have your husband take him in the bathroom with him when he goes too. Have your husband praise himself when he's done so your son see's that it's a good thing.

Also, when you see that your son has pee'd (using underwear), take him straight to the toilet and let him stand there and explain that this is where you pee. Hope that he pee's even a little so you can praise him.

Good luck

Answer 10

I have 5 kids. One is not harder then the other so don't listen to that. Kids do it pretty much when there ready not when you are. Only one of my kids stood in diapers till he was 4. They all pretty much did it on there own. I know as a mom you get worried and think your kid is to old trust me he will come around... Good luck