I'm athiest, my girlfriend is a catholic...?

Question

I'm asking this because of the question about infant baptism, would it be wrong of me to ask her to wait until our child is 12 before baptising him catholic? If our son has an atheist ex-catholic father and a catholic mother, shouldn't it be his decision who's faith/belief he will follow? I think baptising a child before they can comprehend what's happening is forcing the religion on him.

Answer 1

I agree. I think if someone is going to be baptized into a religion they should be old enough to understand what is going on and what the ramifications of that choice are.

Answer 2

The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony is an action of Christ. In this action Christ unites a man and a woman so that they can bring forth new life. Married people must live together until death, they must bring into the world the children God sends them, and they must educate their children especially to know and love God. 1 Peter 3:17, Eph 5:25-32, Ps 127

Catholic believe that Baptism is necessary immediately after the birth of the child. Jn 3:5, Mk 16:16, 1 Cor 15:21-22, Mk 10:14, Lk 18:15, Col 2:11-12, 1 Cor 1:16.

So, it would place her in a serious sinful relationship to ask her to renounce her Sacrament of Marriage and Baptism.

Answer 3

I'll answer this from the child's perspective. My mother is Catholic and my father doesn't have anything really. I was baptised as an infant, however that doesn't hold anything to me. I don't have a particular religious belief. If this makes your wife feel better, then let her do it. It doens't harm anybody. You said above, "shouldn't it be his decision who's faith/belief ", the childrens' beliefs are usually negated from the belief of the mother, not the father.

Answer 4

I agree with You, Baptism is forcing religion on the child , next he will be told that if he does not behave he will burn in Hades for eternity ... that will make him a nicely balanced Kid.

Allowing your kid to be baptised will only reinforce your wife’s delusions about God and reality . Make sure your objections are heard and that you strongly disapprove of Baptism. Personally I would hold it against my wife for many years , if she Baptised my child ... it would bring a great rift between us and jeopardise the marriage , but then I am a Fundamentalist Atheist.

If your wife goes ahead and baptises the kid against your wishes ... that should tell you lots about how much she respects your opinion. You can never un-baptise the kid.

Answer 5

If your girlfriend believes Catholicism is true, then she MUST baptize her baby, because otherwise, she would be denying him the truth.

Surely you agree that a parent should not deny the child something the parent knows is true?

He can still pick when he is twelve or whatever and preparing for confirmation. If he does not choose to be Catholic at that time, he simply does not get confirmed. Baptizing him now doesn't take away his choice of how he will practice his faith (or lack of faith) as he grows older.

Answer 6

Um, you seem to think that baptism will have some sort of magical effect of turning the children into Catholics.

They WILL decide for themselves at some point; there's nothing either of you can do about that.

I'd give in on baptism, as it doesn't matter, but be strong about her not forcing religion on them, but letting them decide when they are old enough.

You can't force religious belief on a baby -- they simply aren't capable of understanding such things.

Answer 7

While you are at it, you should let the infant decide when he will go to bed, what he will eat, what he will wear, etc. To do otherwise would be forcing yours or your girlfriends lifestyle choices on the infant.

I have never heard of anyone saying "Damn! I was baptized when I was an infant and now that I am older and do not believe in God, I am stuck being a Catholic."

Answer 8

I'm not trying to be mean or insult your beliefs. But asking your girlfriend to go against her religion is just like her asking you to pray over Thanksgiving dinner and mean it. Neither of you should be forced to forgo your beliefs. If it's that big a deal now, maybe you should find someone who shares your beliefs so you won't have to worry about it and your girlfriend won't have to make a sacrifice based on her religious beliefs. Catholics are pretty serious about that baptism stuff. :-)

Good luck.

Answer 9

I am an atheist that is married to a catholic woman also. Our children will all be baptized. To me and the children it does not make any difference. It is just a ceremony. To my wife it is very important. Why not give your girlfriend the comfort of having your children baptized. If you feel that strongly against religious ceremonies maybe you shouldn't have had a child with someone you are not compatible with.

Answer 10

Your wife is the catholic and the decision should be up to her since your child's infant baptism will not harm you any. Are you planning to marry? If so, this is just one of the many issues youneed to iron out before marriage. Please get as much counseling and preparation as you can if you want the marriage to work

Answer 11

if atheism is correct, then baptism doesn't have any more meaning than getting sprayed by the garden hose. Except, of course, that it will make your wife happy. Whether or not he is baptized, he will have freedom of choice when he grows up. He will know how you feel, and having parents with mixed views will give him the feeling of freedom to decide for himself. I wouldn't worry about it. Do what makes your girlfriend happy, and trust that truth will prevail in the end.