As a Muslim, to what extent i must listen to my parents?

Question

I'm 20 years old, I have my own income. My parents are Muslim, although their religion is not perfect, alhamdulillah they pray. But they are very traditional people and they like to interfere in my life, and try to decide everything for me. I know as a Muslim I should listen to them unless they command me something that is against Islam, but what if they command me something that is not directly against Islam but will effect my feelings, and maybe my religion? Do I always need to listen to them?

If it happens that I'm not directly disobedient, but I try to persuade them that my way is right, am I sinful? Let's say if they forbid me something just like that, without knowing anything about it?

It's more like about things that don't directly concern religion. otherwise, I'm an observant Muslim and I respect my religion.

Answer 1

salaam
u must understand that they are not perfect human beings, they'll make errors too..am not telling u to try to correct them either, but am just saying be understandable and patient with them...
always give them credts even if u know they're wrong..but do what u think is right at the same time. inshallah everything will be alright...may allah ease up all your troubles and makes us ones that obey their parent..allahuma amin.

Answer 2

Their religion may not be perfect but they are still your parents. It becomes our duty to look after our parents in old age. Everyone has misunderstandings with parents, most of it is cultural than religious because most of our parents have been brought knowing the culture better than religion. Some parents are set in their own ways.

I cant say I know what your going through but I think every young Muslim has to face this at some point in their life with their parents.

If your parents are unhappy with something, even it it isn't religious, we cant simply turn the other cheek. You have to be patient wth them and pray to Allah for guidance. If whatever you desire is meant for you, you will gain it in time.

But don't let your desires and wishes pay the price of your parent's happiness, that will never make you happy in the long run.

Answer 3

The laws God gave to Abraham direct us to honor our parents, but that is not the same as doing everything they say.
If you live at home, then you are still under your father's authority. Then it is your due to respect his wishes
If you have established your own home, then your father does not have direct authority over you, but it is wise to listen to the words & council of your parents, and give those words their due regard & respect. Youth does not always see the wisdom brought by the years. If their words do not seem wise, prudent, or applicable to your situation, do as you deem best, so long as you commit no sin. But be prepared to learn wisdom the hard way-through experience!
If you feel as though your parents are simply meddling, and refusing to allow you to be an adult, pehaps you might find a friend of the family, or some respected authority, to help you approach them and resolve the situation without dishonor.
Good Luck!

Answer 4

Id like to correct where us say their religion is not perfect, coz Islam is perfect, the way they practice it might not

Any way I think u should be respectful and show gratitude to their advice but plsssssss try to take ur own decisions coz otherwise u will grow up insecure...that is what I have seen very traditional muslims parents do to their children and even they can be the cause of greater harm...

Salam Aleikum

Answer 5

I know what you mean. And , eys, it's tough! It's okay to discuss i t with them and show how much you want this thing (or you want to be a man of your decision, in general). MAke sure when you talk to them to keep you manners and respect for them, as you would usually do. Try showing them you can make a difference. Parents are tough. I hope it changes, if not now, then when you're married, in sha Allah. May Allah guide us and our families.

Answer 6

Assalamualaikum.
You should try your best not to disappoint your parents.
Because if what they are demanding is not against Islam then its your duty to give them.
But if your are getting really disturbed by anything then you can ask sweetly to your parents and tell them that what your problem is.
But don't ever hurt them because they are your door to jannah.

Answer 7

Young man, being a Muslim doesn't make anyone a robot. And nobody can ever use religion to dictate their own ways to another person. No offense but I think your parents are simply a bit overbearing with you and it's got nothing to do with Islam.
You could try this approach: "Mom, Dad, I respect you and I respect our religion, but I am of age and got to live my own life. I need to demonstrate to you and the world that I am one to be trusted and respected as well. Give me my chance."
Or something along those lines. There is no need to antagonize them openly, but make yourself clear. You seem to have a lot of love in your heart. I wish you well, my friend.

Answer 8

Salam

Lukeman 31 in Al Quran shows you that. Read it everyday inshAllah you are to be kind to them.

Answer 9

If you feel like what they say will affect your religion, then try persuading them to what you think is right, otherwise, what you said is very correct.

Answer 10

I am not directly familiar with your faith (I am Christian), but being obedient to your parents is good, but their faith in YOU in that they raised you to be a good child/adult is important. You must learn to stand on your own two feet as an adult, to learn your own ways. Do you live in the U.S.? A different country's influence (culture) may be a bit a problem, and it's important for you to aclimate to both cultures (to live in both worlds). I know that as grandchild of immigrants my grandparents tried to live in both worlds, but they know they came to this country for a reason. It's a thin line you walk, but talk with them as an adult. Peace to all of you...