A ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small outback village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Aussie: 'Hey, mind if I talk to your dog?'
Aussie: 'The dog doesn't talk, stupid!' Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'
Dog: 'Doin' all right.' Aussie: (look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (pointing at the villager)
Dog: 'Yep' Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'
Dog: 'Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the creek once a week to play. '
Aussie: (look of utter disbelief) Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse? '
Aussie: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think. ' Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
Horse: 'Cool' Aussie: (absolutely dumbfounded) Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (pointing at the villager)
Horse: 'Yep' Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect
me from the elements in the winter.
Aussie: (total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'
Sweating Aussie: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a bloody liar!'
2007-11-12 05:35:42 · 16 answers · asked by titus 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Made me laugh out loud mate! Same ventriloquist had a gig a week earlier in Melbourne. To a packed house full of multi nationals he and his dummy went down a storm. It was when he was halfway through telling a joke about the Irish when he got his first heckler 'Oi you sor! Wer not as tick as we look yu knor' Not wanting to offend the irate Irishman the ventriloquist offered his apologies and continued with his act, 'You moind yer awn business I was tarkin to the little fella sittin on yer knee' the Irishman angrily replied.
2007-11-12 06:20:18 · answer #1 · answered by moriartee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
amberererere: The Aussie thought the Ventriloquist was really speaking to the animals, and when he would question the sheep, they would tell the story of how the Aussie.... released, his Trouser Navy using the sheep....
Get it yet?
OK, plain and simple. The Aussie was screwing the sheep and he thought they would tell on him.
2007-11-12 06:30:30 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Another great sheep-shaggin joke!
2007-11-12 06:30:02 · answer #3 · answered by psymon 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Naughty but nice.
2007-11-12 07:50:18 · answer #4 · answered by D 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
HA HA HA HA.......... I got it after 5 seconds
2007-11-12 05:47:12 · answer #5 · answered by tinkerbell 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lmao
2007-11-12 06:03:31 · answer #6 · answered by Nate 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hahaha,very funny.
2007-11-12 05:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by xyz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like it....poor old sheep....
2007-11-12 11:06:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
real good lmao
starred
2007-11-12 08:33:51 · answer #9 · answered by oh no,,,it's the kevsta 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lol good one
2007-11-12 05:42:45 · answer #10 · answered by candi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋