Why do young guys want to date much older women?

Question

Why would a man in his thirties want to have a relationship with a woman in her fifties? She's old enough to be his mother. What are his intentions?

You're wrong Lek - they do!

He's divorced.
I think he knows I'm not loaded!

I am not desperate!
And I definitely do not want to be anyone's mother.

Porchustopli, that is very encouraging, though I'm still wary for the reasons given in other answers.

Hey, minerva, email me if you'd like one of my rejects, lol !

Answer 1

I like the way this went from a general question to a personal one with your additional info ;-)

I agree that Porchustopli makes a lot of sense, however he doesn't really explore the reasons in his nature that permits the relationship to succeed.

I have to admit, that at 40, I am still attracted to young women. Liverpool is a student city, and so I realise I must be tracking 18/19 year old girls most of the time, but that is the fact. And what drives me to do that, is that I, as an alpha male, am still looking to pass on my genes. I don't know if that will ever stop, but as it is, my desire is to have sex with lots of lots of women and make babies with them.

So the other side of the coin is the man who is attracted to the older woman, and in particular the woman who cannot logically have children any more, what are his motivations for mentally forming this attraction. Obviously he is happy not to pass on his genes for one unknown reason or another. Maybe he is just not the parenting type, never had a paternal bone in his body. Is that a problem? I don't know, it's an alien concept to me, a male not wanting to pass on his genes, but I can't call it a mental issue, as it may be very normal, I'm not the person to call that. He could already have passed on his genes, and no longer needs to do so. It could also be the opposite to the older man/younger girl who never had a father figure in her life. Maybe he lost his mum?

Bottom line for all my talking, he is happy not to pass on his genes, it could be natural, it could stem from his family history, but who doesn't have a shed load of baggage? Who of us is innocent and undamaged, especially by the age of 30, we've all had water under the bridge. He has his reasons to fancy you, and you cannot doubt his motivation, you can only find out the cause for his motivation, and that would take a few dates. But the most important thing here is that it spooks you... If you are uncomfortable about it, it doesn't happen. You could maybe try one or two dates, but if the voice in your head is still screaming that it's wrong, you have to listen to the voice.

Answer 2

They're great in bed (more experienced, greater libido, and with modern health care can still be pretty attractive), aren't going to get pregnant, and they're usually already secure, so aren't in the market for a 'provider.' So if a younger man isn't looking to become a father and assume a traditional 'breadwinner' role, an older woman is the perfect hookup.

Answer 3

there are many reasons for this, for those young men that are interested in older women. some have been mentioned. older women do not (generally) play games. if they want sex, they let on. they dont pretend they dont want it. it could be a matter of financial security for some boys. and then, from the emotional/psychological standpoint, a boy could have had an over powering mother figure and need to have an older woman take over the role of "mommy" this commonly occurs.

Answer 4

Basically it's because older women are not playing stupid little games. They are secure in themselves and know what they want........ simple.

A stong secure guy can find this in his own age range if he looks REALLY hard but this is rare. An older women can show a guy how things are supposed to work...... life, love, responsibity and how the future will work. Later he will know what to look for.

Answer 5

Hey, I'm 50 and have worn out 2 much (much, much) younger men in my life.

For starters:

We're a lot more settled - not into drama
We don't need a lot of "little girl" treatment. we're women - not children
We can usually cook well.
We're accomplished in our careers
We know and understand the opera, ballet, and have even learned how to appreciate NASCAR
We don't whine a lot
Our children are grown - so we're not looking for a surrogate father to take them to soccer practice

Is this enough to get you started thinking? Or do I need to continue?

Answer 6

Probably for sex. As it's been pointed out, older women have more experience and I'm sure a woman doesn't mind knowing a man finds her attractive.

Answer 7

I am a lesbian age 48, I look 38. I hear that I am attractive, sexy, exotic, but don't get why a 20 year old wants to date me. I am never looking for younger women, but young girls on their 20s seem to be attracted to me. I am broke, I can't be their sugar mamas. So why?

Answer 8

Funny. I'm in my thirties and my girlfriend is 50. I love her. That's why we've been together for 4 years. She's 15.5 years older than me, and yet we're equals in our relationship. And that's our intention.
I've dated younger women who wanted me to be like their father and I've dated younger women who wanted to be my mother. With her, there's none of that. There's no dependency. We hang out, talk about things we both like, and we enjoy each other. Sure, there are upsets, but we openly work through them. No emotional games.
But, it's not really about that. It's like I said, I love her.
And before we got to that point, I just knew I wanted to hang out with her. I enjoyed talking with her. I enjoyed seeing her.
Is that really any different from any honest relationship?

Answer 9

Maybe he misses what he saw when he was young. (his mother as the housewife and treats the man as the law and doesn't question him) You know the way things used to be and he wants a relationship like that. I don't know if it works but it's a different end of the spectrum, I'm 21 and i do not even want to start thinking about wrinkles. (chill runs up spine)

Answer 10

I always thought it was the other way around. Growing up it was 30 year olds wanting to date 15 year old girls...perhaps the guy has truly fallen in love and age doesn't matter. We can't judge a relationship between 2 people like that without knowing their commitment to one another. If she was 90, then his intentions would be clear....but she's 50 and she has plenty of time left, so he's not trying to get rich quick....