I have a higher sex drive than he does, but we've always had a healthy sex life. Recently I asked him why we don't have sex very much. He told me it's because he's bored and not interested. I took this personally and am very hurt by it. I have always told him I am up for anything, whatever he wants to try I am willing to try too (other than a threesome, which I will NOT do). Should I be hurt and insulted by this? I have tried talking to him about it, but I don't get very far. I want to have sex, I think it's important in a relationship, but it doesn't seem to matter that much to him. Now what do I do?
2007-11-12 05:20:15 · 6 answers · asked by Gina Y 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I should also mention that I am almost 7 years older than he is. He's 27. I thought guys in their 20's had high sex drives...he doesn't. He talks about sex all the time, but when it comes down to it....he's tired or bored. It's very hurtful to me, I feel like he is rejecting me personally. I am not fat or overweight at all, maybe 110 lbs, I am very attractive and smart...so why does this bother me so much? I have tried all kinds of things and we have done alot of different things. I have done things to him while he's driving, we've done it in differetn places....I've told him to just ask for what he wants, that I am open to all kinds of things to try. What else am I supposed to do? Just accept it?
2007-11-12 05:34:00 · update #1
First, I wouldn't listen to those saying he's getting it somewhere else. In my life's experience, when someone is getting it somewhere else, provided everything is okay in the primary relationship, they are even more sexually active in their primary relationship.
If he is uninterested it's either because there is something wrong in your relationship or it's because he's got something else going that is killing his sex drive, like problems in his life away from you like at work, or there is some medical (either physical or mental) reason he's not in the mood.
You two need to talk. He needs to be completely honest and open with you about why he is feeling this way, not just give you generic "I'm just not interested" answers, and you for your part have to be open to hear what he has to say without getting hurt and defensive.
Then you'll know where to go from here.
2007-11-12 09:45:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly you should just move on he doesn't seem to want to work on it and it takes two people to make the relationship work. If he's bored and uninterested and doesn't want to try new things maybe he wants out of the relationship or is seeing someone else. Don't waste your time.
2007-11-12 05:26:58 · answer #2 · answered by prettylady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out what's making him bored and uninterested. Suggest new positions and things to try; don't make him decide everything. If it doesn't improve, you need to have a serious discussion about your future together.
2007-11-12 05:26:19 · answer #3 · answered by xK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to make the assumption that he is not having sex either.
Bad assumption.
2007-11-12 05:24:40 · answer #4 · answered by lunatic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the thing for you to do is contact me asap....i know what will fix you up.....
2007-11-12 05:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by J.M.C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i hate to say this, but he's getting it somewhere
2007-11-12 05:26:37 · answer #6 · answered by Sick of F*ckwits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋